single, happily married, unhappily married, divorced?

Page 8 of 8 [ 127 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 4, 5, 6, 7, 8


What is your long-term relationship status?
Single and expect to remain so 17%  17%  [ 16 ]
Single so far but hoping for relationship 16%  16%  [ 15 ]
In a relationship, and expect to remain so 35%  35%  [ 33 ]
In a relationship but not happy with it 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
In a relationship but partner is not happy with it 3%  3%  [ 3 ]
Separated or divorced 20%  20%  [ 19 ]
Other 6%  6%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 94

Twilightprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,353

21 Dec 2019, 9:51 am

There’s no option for “happily separated or divorced.”

That’s me! :P



Twilightprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,353

21 Dec 2019, 9:53 am

Donald Morton wrote:
Happily divorced :D Perhaps more aptly put, survived and escaped.


Me too.



Twilightprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,353

21 Dec 2019, 9:57 am

auntblabby wrote:
MrsPeel wrote:
Separated but neighbours? That's a bit different... and very interesting.
I can see how that might help with AS issues, as in, having plenty of alone time but also social support.
Would you like to tell us more?

katherine hepburn tartly observed, "since men and women are not so well-suited for each other- maybe they should instead live next door and drop in now and then."


She was a very wise woman.

She also said, “Stockings are an invention of the devil.”

I can confirm the accuracy of such a declaration.



Twilightprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,353

21 Dec 2019, 10:09 am

auntblabby wrote:
i honest-to-christ have no idea how i'd fare as a parent of autistic children. if i had to raise a kid like how i was, i'd lose my marbles after a short while.


I may have felt the same, but once it happened, I managed to adapt. It’s also special to bond with a kid over mutual special interests and similar experiences that I can relate to and which a nonASD parent might not.

It’s helped to further cement our bond although he does drive me nuts sometimes. He’s sensory seeking and I’m sensory avoidant. Provided that there’s nothing dangerous going on (he’s 8 ), i sometimes have to go to my room and give myself a time-out.

I’m a huge advocate of parents taking 5 minutes to breathe and de-stress. Probably a lot of child abuse could be avoided if all parents did this.

Jeez, I’m off-topic today...



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,493

21 Dec 2019, 5:45 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i honest-to-christ have no idea how i'd fare as a parent of autistic children. if i had to raise a kid like how i was, i'd lose my marbles after a short while.


I may have felt the same, but once it happened, I managed to adapt. It’s also special to bond with a kid over mutual special interests and similar experiences that I can relate to and which a nonASD parent might not.

It’s helped to further cement our bond although he does drive me nuts sometimes. He’s sensory seeking and I’m sensory avoidant. Provided that there’s nothing dangerous going on (he’s 8 ), i sometimes have to go to my room and give myself a time-out.

I’m a huge advocate of parents taking 5 minutes to breathe and de-stress. Probably a lot of child abuse could be avoided if all parents did this.

Jeez, I’m off-topic today...


So to get back on topic you are happily divorced :D



Twilightprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,353

21 Dec 2019, 6:06 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i honest-to-christ have no idea how i'd fare as a parent of autistic children. if i had to raise a kid like how i was, i'd lose my marbles after a short while.


I may have felt the same, but once it happened, I managed to adapt. It’s also special to bond with a kid over mutual special interests and similar experiences that I can relate to and which a nonASD parent might not.

It’s helped to further cement our bond although he does drive me nuts sometimes. He’s sensory seeking and I’m sensory avoidant. Provided that there’s nothing dangerous going on (he’s 8 ), i sometimes have to go to my room and give myself a time-out.

I’m a huge advocate of parents taking 5 minutes to breathe and de-stress. Probably a lot of child abuse could be avoided if all parents did this.

Jeez, I’m off-topic today...


So to get back on topic you are happily divorced :D


I’m happily separated. I might divorce someday, but I don’t want to remarry so maybe I won’t bother.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,493

21 Dec 2019, 6:26 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i honest-to-christ have no idea how i'd fare as a parent of autistic children. if i had to raise a kid like how i was, i'd lose my marbles after a short while.


I may have felt the same, but once it happened, I managed to adapt. It’s also special to bond with a kid over mutual special interests and similar experiences that I can relate to and which a nonASD parent might not.

It’s helped to further cement our bond although he does drive me nuts sometimes. He’s sensory seeking and I’m sensory avoidant. Provided that there’s nothing dangerous going on (he’s 8 ), i sometimes have to go to my room and give myself a time-out.

I’m a huge advocate of parents taking 5 minutes to breathe and de-stress. Probably a lot of child abuse could be avoided if all parents did this.

Jeez, I’m off-topic today...


So to get back on topic you are happily divorced :D


I’m happily separated. I might divorce someday, but I don’t want to remarry so maybe I won’t bother.


Ok happily separated...



martianprincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2019
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,750
Location: Kansas

21 Dec 2019, 9:13 pm

I'm happily separated and I look forward to my divorce.


_________________
The phone ping from a pillow fort in a corn maze
I don't have a horse in your war games
I don't even really like horses
I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits


Brisienna
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 23 Nov 2019
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 68
Location: U.S.

21 Dec 2019, 9:54 pm

I am multiple times divorced. Mostly they were (or at least attempted to be) exploitative relationships that lasted for a few years but then came to sudden ends when it became clear I wasn't going to happily be the compliant follower my partners wanted.

Now I am going through menopause so the time has passed for establishing a family, so my interests in male companionship are more along the lines of desiring an adventuring partner rather than pursuing another domestic scenario.

My overall thinking is that I'd rather invest in other areas of life first before getting involved with others again, but loneliness is difficult and on top of that, against ridiculously stupid odds there actually turned out to be a single, attractive guy working in the grocery store of the small town I just moved back to where we share a lot in common and there's way too much chemistry to be comfortable with, but we both completely fail at social interaction (he is also neurologically challenged, but from injury rather than an inherent disorder), so it seems impossible to tell whether this is a positive or negative thing. It often seems like both even within the same encounter, so it's stressful either way.

But that also led to me finding WP as the stress pushed me to be more proactive about admitting my needs for friendship and mutual support instead of putting them off for a more convenient time when I can feel more confident about what I can offer, because I've learned well enough there are dangers in remaining vulnerable and alone.



AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,479

22 Dec 2019, 12:32 pm

I am single and want to stay single. I would like someone to always be my side no matter what but i know this is an unrealistic expectation. I get too clingy and needy and would probably become suicidal if my significant other would leave me. For this reason i would rather stay single. But i am scared of the future and dying alone.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 94,680
Location: the island of defective toy santas

22 Dec 2019, 10:40 pm

AprilR wrote:
I am single and want to stay single. I would like someone to always be my side no matter what but i know this is an unrealistic expectation. I get too clingy and needy and would probably become suicidal if my significant other would leave me. For this reason i would rather stay single. But i am scared of the future and dying alone.

i hope you can believe that there are people out there, albeit widely scattered, that would love nothing better than to fulfill that role for you, and would stick by you through thick and thin. i hope you can dwell on this.



AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,479

23 Dec 2019, 12:23 am

auntblabby wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I am single and want to stay single. I would like someone to always be my side no matter what but i know this is an unrealistic expectation. I get too clingy and needy and would probably become suicidal if my significant other would leave me. For this reason i would rather stay single. But i am scared of the future and dying alone.

i hope you can believe that there are people out there, albeit widely scattered, that would love nothing better than to fulfill that role for you, and would stick by you through thick and thin. i hope you can dwell on this.


Thank you, but even if that was true i'm not sure if i would like a relationship like that. People change and should have the right to leave people they don't feel the same any more behind. I don't think i have a healthy definition of a relationship, i had an obsessive friendship (?) growing up and i think it messed up my mind.
I'm just scared that i won't have anyone near me in my old age, i guess i'll have to settle with a caretaker.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 94,680
Location: the island of defective toy santas

23 Dec 2019, 12:58 am

AprilR wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I am single and want to stay single. I would like someone to always be my side no matter what but i know this is an unrealistic expectation. I get too clingy and needy and would probably become suicidal if my significant other would leave me. For this reason i would rather stay single. But i am scared of the future and dying alone.

i hope you can believe that there are people out there, albeit widely scattered, that would love nothing better than to fulfill that role for you, and would stick by you through thick and thin. i hope you can dwell on this.


Thank you, but even if that was true i'm not sure if i would like a relationship like that. People change and should have the right to leave people they don't feel the same any more behind. I don't think i have a healthy definition of a relationship, i had an obsessive friendship (?) growing up and i think it messed up my mind.
I'm just scared that i won't have anyone near me in my old age, i guess i'll have to settle with a caretaker.

when one finds one on the same wavelength, it is as though they are two peas in a pod, and separation would seem cruel, unusual, and totally unnatural. in any case, true friends are there for their friends, even if they are not in a conventional romantic relationship. there are such teams of people out there, here and there, supporting each other. it seems scary to the uninitiated due to its relative rarity in this culture.



Julian16
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 4 Jul 2020
Gender: Male
Posts: 5
Location: USA

Yesterday, 10:12 am

AprilR wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I am single and want to stay single. I would like someone to always be my side no matter what but i know this is an unrealistic expectation. I get too clingy and needy and would probably become suicidal if my significant other would leave me. For this reason i would rather stay single. But i am scared of the future and dying alone.

i hope you can believe that there are people out there, albeit widely scattered, that would love nothing better than to fulfill that role for you, and would stick by you through thick and thin. i hope you can dwell on this.


Thank you, but even if that was true i'm not sure if i would like a relationship like that. People change and should have the right to leave people they don't feel the same any more behind. I don't think i have a healthy definition of a relationship, i had an obsessive friendship (?) growing up and i think it messed up my mind.
I'm just scared that i won't have anyone near me in my old age, i guess i'll have to settle with a caretaker.

I believe that there is a special person here, on the Earth, just foro you and you'll find him when the right time comes.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 94,680
Location: the island of defective toy santas

Yesterday, 10:19 am

i will likely be alone when i matriculate to the higher school [so to speak] and i can tell you there are far worse things.