single, happily married, unhappily married, divorced?
For the first time I'm starting to feel a little nostalgia for our marriage and his company...
Looks like it took this long to get over the trauma of it all
I hear you. I don't know if it's true that time heals all things, but time definitely has an impact on how we feel about our past. Glad you are having some positive memories.
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"If you can't understand it without an explanation, you can't understand it with an explanation." --Murakami
I voted Other because while I would want a relationship, I don't feel I could apply myself toward a healthy one. My mental health has always been better when I'm not trying to date. I seem to easily attract very toxic people. I don't know how to trust anyone enough to really believe in it anymore, and that would really be a set back, even if the other person was truly genuine. I am unhappy about it, definitely. But I get put in bad situations when I think I'm being open or trusting and vulnerable to new people. Just can't keep doing it. I have small hope that it can change sometime. I just don't know how to make that change.
Try the Bloomington, Indiana area - it seems to have many open minded people who are open to socializing (though of course there are many bad people and you should do your own due diligence!)
I'm unhappily single. I am a family guy. I feel really grey when I'm not being for my family. I'm not really sure what seems so challenging about relationships but I just carry on. Found out that ladies Who had their Dads in their life miss something from that in a relationship. Unsure what it is as my Dad was barely around which pretty much made me the man of the family as a kid... I grew up with two older sisters and Mom so I might want to converse closer to 30k words a day rather than the half that guys apparently like to talk.
Anyway I enjoy my companion, learning Her. Her eyes when she laughs... Her tone when I bring her some picked flowers.
Facepalm whatever
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,699
Location: the island of defective toy santas
I'm divorced, and currently not looking. I discovered that I am less stressed single than I was when I was married. Sure, there were some happy moments there, but not enough to save it. I didn't get out of it at first, because I didn't think I would find anyone else, but I learned later on that even if my marriage failed, it's not the end of the world. If I don't find another man, that's fine, because I have a big family and friends who support me. I have since discovered new talents and learned new things about myself. As for whether or not I will find Mr. Right, I will have to wait and see. I might see him later in life, or never, and I am fine with that.
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Black cat on duty
I'm in a similar situation. On one hand, I do hope to find the right person for me. But on the other hand, being by myself and being enough for myself is very liberating. Best of luck to you.
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"If you can't understand it without an explanation, you can't understand it with an explanation." --Murakami
I've been married for 20 years (and in the same relationship for 22). I'm not going to say "happily", because no human is consistently happy on this planet. Moods change. Feelings get hurt. Passion ebbs and flows. Like any other humans, we have our disagreements. We do our best to communicate what's bothering us. We still love each other deeply and need each other's support despite any of that.
We have no interest in other partners. We are best friends, sometimes lovers, and sometimes just good company with which to sit in silence. We are also both neurodiverse. I'm autistic/ADHD/OCD, and he is ADHD (possibly autistic).
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ૂི•̮͡• ૂ ྀ
I replied 'other' since I'm single and not looking for a traditional relationship, but might consider a romantic relationship without living together.
Since I left the parental home 20 years ago, I have been in a relationship for most of the time, and many of those years I have been living together. Which is a bit odd, since I consider the short periods I have been alone as the happiest.
Right now I'm separating from my partner of more than 10 years. We had a LAT-relationship for three years, those were the good years, and lived together for seven years, which were the not-so-good years. During the LAT-years, I could suppress/mask my most difficult-to-live-with autistic traits during the few days a month we were together. But once we were living together all the time, that became impossible, which had its effects on our relationship.
However, I do like spending time together with someone in a romantic way, sharing life, experiences ... . But I have learned the hard way that living together really is not for me.
A bit more than one month after our separation, I already feel more 'human', I connect more with people, have more mental space. It really helps to arrive in an empty home after a busy day and have sufficient time to recharge my mental batteries.
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