single, happily married, unhappily married, divorced?

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What is your long-term relationship status?
Single and expect to remain so 17%  17%  [ 28 ]
Single so far but hoping for relationship 19%  19%  [ 31 ]
In a relationship, and expect to remain so 32%  32%  [ 54 ]
In a relationship but not happy with it 4%  4%  [ 6 ]
In a relationship but partner is not happy with it 4%  4%  [ 7 ]
Separated or divorced 18%  18%  [ 30 ]
Other 7%  7%  [ 11 ]
Total votes : 167

auntblabby
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10 Sep 2020, 12:38 am

doing it with a rubber on is like eating a banquet with anesthetized tongue and palate. what's the use?



AEqualsBCD
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16 Sep 2020, 10:56 am

Still single :( But hoping to have a relationship, one day... *Dreams*



sport
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22 Sep 2020, 10:32 am

I'am lucky to have found a woman that can is like a caretaker being Autistic and somewhat mentally challenged.



auntblabby
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15 Oct 2020, 11:28 am

damn.



Ade C
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15 Oct 2020, 11:49 am

RobyKane wrote:
I am married, but unfortunately we are close to divorce.


Ditto, but I can't actually afford divorce or separation. The system has me trapped…just like it's designed to do



traven
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16 Oct 2020, 12:28 am

Ade C wrote:
RobyKane wrote:
I am married, but unfortunately we are close to divorce.


Ditto, but I can't actually afford divorce or separation. The system has me trapped…just like it's designed to do


true, i mean, that's me too :mrgreen:
or otherwise opposition to gov handouts in exchange for giving up all
traumasome freedom vs another designed trap
your personal pbs or one size fits all solution



FleaOfTheChill
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16 Oct 2020, 7:09 am

traven wrote:
Ade C wrote:
RobyKane wrote:
I am married, but unfortunately we are close to divorce.


Ditto, but I can't actually afford divorce or separation. The system has me trapped…just like it's designed to do


true, i mean, that's me too :mrgreen:
or otherwise opposition to gov handouts in exchange for giving up all
traumasome freedom vs another designed trap
your personal pbs or one size fits all solution


Me too. I'm trying to figure out how to do a diy divorce right now. I in the states, and in my state, you can file online and it's not too complicated. The ex and I have no minor children or kids in common for that matter. Still, the state wants a weird amount of information even when you don't want anything from the ex except a divorce. It's not like I'm going after a chunk of their pension or car, and the ex doesn't want any of my stuff either. It's bizarre, unnecessary, and overwhelming.

Also, neither of us can presently afford to live alone. When the ex goes I'll need a roommate if I want to keep my house, and the ex has nowhere close to enough cash to get an apartment, let alone things like a bed or chair, anything really. The house and everything in it is mine, so the ex has a way to go and doesn't want to be fifty living with mom again. Thankfully we're able to peacefully live together through this. It's a mess.



madbutnotmad
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16 Oct 2020, 7:37 am

I am divorced.
In hindsight, i realise i only got married due to being bullied into it in the first place.

My ex-wife was a Jehovah Witness. Jehovah Witnesses have strict rules about who they hang out or go out with.

Jehovah Witnesses are not supposed to go out with people who are not baptised as Jehovah Witnesses, as all people who are not Jehovah Witnesses are considered "part of Satan's world" and not part of "Jehovah's people".

The entire relationship with my ex-wife was extremely stressful. First being forced to have secret and non sexual relationship, meeting in secret. Very stressful, later on the relationship turned into a long distance relationship.
Which was even more stressful. All the time I was being pressured into converting to be a Jehovah Witness, which involves loads of hard work going to Jehovah Meetings (several a week), extra bible study etc. and even the famous JW ministry (knocking on people's doors to try and convert them).

All that while also trying to hold down a job, try and communicate with my "supposed" partner.
Eventually i explained that I would not convert but would support rather than oppose my partner in her faith.
Broke up several times, and then my ex-partner's step father faked his death, and then used the faked death scenario as a sympathy ploy / emotional blackmail to get me to marry her.

Was married for 6 months, after which my only and older brother died and my ex-wife, who was communicating with her ex boy friends (who weren't JW, more Satanists) and days after the funeral my ex-wife violently assaults me while i was grieving in bed. It was on a blood full moon. I believe she thought it was black magic or something. I actually think she tried to murder me, just think she wasn't any good at murder.

So, i finally had enough. Chucked her out. Broke up. Went back to grieving.
While i was grieving ex-wife then spread slander to practically every one i knew. Good Jehovah Witness eh?

She filed for divorce while i continued to grieve. I am pleased to be divorced and still alive.
Although she has damaged my reputation for life.

I don't hate Jehovah Witnesses. I don't hate woman (in fact love them).
I think i was just very unlucky to get involved with such a sociopath criminally insane person.

The world lives on...



sport
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16 Oct 2020, 8:19 am

That sounds somewhat like my 1st marriage was young and dumb she was a lot dominate in the rule making and it went down hill from there.I didn't know and had not been tested for autism was tested some time later and got the answers autism with some dd added in for good measure.



Charleyjustchillin
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16 Oct 2020, 8:23 am

traven wrote:
Ade C wrote:
RobyKane wrote:
I am married, but unfortunately we are close to divorce.


Ditto, but I can't actually afford divorce or separation. The system has me trapped…just like it's designed to do


true, i mean, that's me too :mrgreen:
or otherwise opposition to gov handouts in exchange for giving up all
traumasome freedom vs another designed trap
your personal pbs or one size fits all solution


In the US some states make it easier than others, but it's always complicated if there are children involved.


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sport
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16 Oct 2020, 8:40 am

Your are sure right.



MrsPeel
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09 Nov 2020, 4:47 am

Yup.

You know, I reckon in a modern enlightened society, maybe we ought to have some kind of a standard - what do they call it, pre-nuptial agreement? Or maybe guidelines at least, or training, for couples who plan to marry? Which would give us some kind of instructions on how to set up a marriage on the basis of it being easy to separate out financial affairs etc when you split up.

Though I don't think I would suggest that outside this forum.
I suspect the idea is just way too unromantic and practical and uncompromisingly autistic for the NT world.

But yeah, divorce can be a tough deal.
I've been divorced 2 years now and still not properly separated assets, and I'm paying a mortgage which ought to be unnecessary - it's a mess.



auntblabby
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09 Nov 2020, 4:58 am

for something at least as important as a driver's license, i think a marriage license SHOULD have a lot more requirements attached to it and not granted freely to any comers. divorce is just too destructive for it to be as common [60% of all american marriages, 90% of subsequent marriages] as it is here. they need to be teaching this stuff in school from kindergarten onward, just like they do sex ed.



MrsPeel
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09 Nov 2020, 5:22 am

Yes, that's it.
Something compulsory.
Because so many of us go into it blindly, not even considering pre-nuptial contratcs or anything like that, assuming everything will be fine because we're so completely in love... and are totally unprepared when it all falls apart.



hurtloam
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09 Nov 2020, 12:35 pm

auntblabby wrote:
for something at least as important as a driver's license, i think a marriage license SHOULD have a lot more requirements attached to it and not granted freely to any comers. divorce is just too destructive for it to be as common [60% of all american marriages, 90% of subsequent marriages] as it is here. they need to be teaching this stuff in school from kindergarten onward, just like they do sex ed.


Yeah, I agree with this. It's weird how we just expect people to get on with it. And even then sex ed doesn't tend to have much to do with how to communicate it's just the mechanics.

I do think what I read as a teenager made me think seriously about marriage. I read an article that had interviews with people who got married too young and who were overwhelmed or who just rushed into it because of lust. It didn't turn out to be the "happy ending" they expected. This was when it was more common to get married younger and straight from your parents house. That made me think that I definately need to learn to live on my own first and get to grips with paying bills and housework and so on.



Ade C
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11 Nov 2020, 1:54 pm

There's a lot of money to be made out of marriages. Even more from divorces. It suits the system well. It's not really in anyone's interest for people to live happily ever after. We're all here just to make people a lot of money. The world is toxic and happiness is a marketing ploy