single, happily married, unhappily married, divorced?

Page 9 of 9 [ 125 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9


What is your long-term relationship status?
Single and expect to remain so 18%  18%  [ 16 ]
Single so far but hoping for relationship 17%  17%  [ 15 ]
In a relationship, and expect to remain so 34%  34%  [ 30 ]
In a relationship but not happy with it 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
In a relationship but partner is not happy with it 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Separated or divorced 19%  19%  [ 17 ]
Other 7%  7%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 88

Brisienna
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 23 Nov 2019
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 67
Location: U.S.

21 Dec 2019, 9:54 pm

I am multiple times divorced. Mostly they were (or at least attempted to be) exploitative relationships that lasted for a few years but then came to sudden ends when it became clear I wasn't going to happily be the compliant follower my partners wanted.

Now I am going through menopause so the time has passed for establishing a family, so my interests in male companionship are more along the lines of desiring an adventuring partner rather than pursuing another domestic scenario.

My overall thinking is that I'd rather invest in other areas of life first before getting involved with others again, but loneliness is difficult and on top of that, against ridiculously stupid odds there actually turned out to be a single, attractive guy working in the grocery store of the small town I just moved back to where we share a lot in common and there's way too much chemistry to be comfortable with, but we both completely fail at social interaction (he is also neurologically challenged, but from injury rather than an inherent disorder), so it seems impossible to tell whether this is a positive or negative thing. It often seems like both even within the same encounter, so it's stressful either way.

But that also led to me finding WP as the stress pushed me to be more proactive about admitting my needs for friendship and mutual support instead of putting them off for a more convenient time when I can feel more confident about what I can offer, because I've learned well enough there are dangers in remaining vulnerable and alone.



AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,061

22 Dec 2019, 12:32 pm

I am single and want to stay single. I would like someone to always be my side no matter what but i know this is an unrealistic expectation. I get too clingy and needy and would probably become suicidal if my significant other would leave me. For this reason i would rather stay single. But i am scared of the future and dying alone.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 92,966
Location: the island of defective toy santas

22 Dec 2019, 10:40 pm

AprilR wrote:
I am single and want to stay single. I would like someone to always be my side no matter what but i know this is an unrealistic expectation. I get too clingy and needy and would probably become suicidal if my significant other would leave me. For this reason i would rather stay single. But i am scared of the future and dying alone.

i hope you can believe that there are people out there, albeit widely scattered, that would love nothing better than to fulfill that role for you, and would stick by you through thick and thin. i hope you can dwell on this.



AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,061

23 Dec 2019, 12:23 am

auntblabby wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I am single and want to stay single. I would like someone to always be my side no matter what but i know this is an unrealistic expectation. I get too clingy and needy and would probably become suicidal if my significant other would leave me. For this reason i would rather stay single. But i am scared of the future and dying alone.

i hope you can believe that there are people out there, albeit widely scattered, that would love nothing better than to fulfill that role for you, and would stick by you through thick and thin. i hope you can dwell on this.


Thank you, but even if that was true i'm not sure if i would like a relationship like that. People change and should have the right to leave people they don't feel the same any more behind. I don't think i have a healthy definition of a relationship, i had an obsessive friendship (?) growing up and i think it messed up my mind.
I'm just scared that i won't have anyone near me in my old age, i guess i'll have to settle with a caretaker.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 92,966
Location: the island of defective toy santas

23 Dec 2019, 12:58 am

AprilR wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
AprilR wrote:
I am single and want to stay single. I would like someone to always be my side no matter what but i know this is an unrealistic expectation. I get too clingy and needy and would probably become suicidal if my significant other would leave me. For this reason i would rather stay single. But i am scared of the future and dying alone.

i hope you can believe that there are people out there, albeit widely scattered, that would love nothing better than to fulfill that role for you, and would stick by you through thick and thin. i hope you can dwell on this.


Thank you, but even if that was true i'm not sure if i would like a relationship like that. People change and should have the right to leave people they don't feel the same any more behind. I don't think i have a healthy definition of a relationship, i had an obsessive friendship (?) growing up and i think it messed up my mind.
I'm just scared that i won't have anyone near me in my old age, i guess i'll have to settle with a caretaker.

when one finds one on the same wavelength, it is as though they are two peas in a pod, and separation would seem cruel, unusual, and totally unnatural. in any case, true friends are there for their friends, even if they are not in a conventional romantic relationship. there are such teams of people out there, here and there, supporting each other. it seems scary to the uninitiated due to its relative rarity in this culture.