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Jayo
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19 Aug 2019, 7:11 pm

You know those flippant responses we get when we disclose our condition to someone, they say things like "Well, everyone's a bit autistic", or "we all have things we need to work on", "they're over-diagnosing the latest fad label these days, back in the 90s it was ADHD", "I don't think you're really autistic" or the worst one "it's all in your hand / it's mind over matter" (the pat response to any psychiatric disorder) :roll:

Obviously (or rather, as learned thru painful experience) these are just cues to move on to a less taboo subject than psychiatric disorders, and you can't help but chuckle at the irony that we don't pick up that cue (i.e. we continue to challenge them on the reply) - thus validating what they didn't want to believe :P

WELL... here's a way you can catch people by surprise: instead of asserting your condition directly, tell them "You know, apparently I'm alleged partially autistic, at least that's one some quack once told me - but I don't see it." Then see if they argue the reverse, that they do see this or that trait in you that smacks of ASD / HFA... and/or criticize you being oblivious or in denial... or, just maybe, they'll pick up you being subtly indignant about how people have the wrong prejudiced attitude towards your autism spectrum disorder.

Hey, it'd be an interesting psychological experiment, no? :D



Bravo5150
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19 Aug 2019, 7:17 pm

I am highly acquainted with the idea you are referring to. I have on several occasions actually had the other person bring up the question about if I was autistic first before I mentioned anything about it.



Jayo
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20 Aug 2019, 5:31 am

Bravo5150 wrote:
I am highly acquainted with the idea you are referring to. I have on several occasions actually had the other person bring up the question about if I was autistic first before I mentioned anything about it.


So were they asking in a more hostile and demeaning way, or more with enlightenment and concern?



harry12345
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20 Aug 2019, 10:01 am

Jayo wrote:
Y
WELL... here's a way you can catch people by surprise: instead of asserting your condition directly, tell them "You know, apparently I'm alleged partially autistic, at least that's one some quack once told me - but I don't see it." Then see if they argue the reverse, that they do see this or that trait in you that smacks of ASD / HFA... and/or criticize you being oblivious or in denial... or, just maybe, they'll pick up you being subtly indignant about how people have the wrong prejudiced attitude towards your autism spectrum disorder.

Hey, it'd be an interesting psychological experiment, no? :D


That is just going to be so true you don't even need to do an experiment......

Very often at work if I wanted to do "A" but not "B", I would ask the manager if they wanted me to do "B" and invariably they said no do "A".....



Bravo5150
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20 Aug 2019, 10:19 am

Jayo wrote:
Bravo5150 wrote:
I am highly acquainted with the idea you are referring to. I have on several occasions actually had the other person bring up the question about if I was autistic first before I mentioned anything about it.


So were they asking in a more hostile and demeaning way, or more with enlightenment and concern?



I have gotten a few hostile and demeaning people, but most seemed to have concern for the issue of whether or not I was acknowledging the right thing



ToughDiamond
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20 Aug 2019, 11:01 am

I've toyed with the idea of coming out with something like "I've got ASD.....so they say" as a way of pre-empting a "no, you're a hypochondriac" type of response. But the main reason I'd want to inform somebody of my ASD would be to enlist their help, to get them to make some kind of adjustment or allowance for me. If they respond by saying "you're right, I don't think you've got it either," then there'll be no adjustments, and I don't see any easy way of asking for their help ever again without showing up my former dishonesty, which obviously wouldn't encourage the trust I would need from them.

I haven't told many people, and of the few I've told, the most common response has been neutral, i.e. they haven't shown enough interest to agree or disagree, or to ask any questions about how the condition might impact on my relationship with them. Once I've had that uninterested response from them, I no longer feel like approaching the subject again, because it looks like they don't want to know.



Magna
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20 Aug 2019, 5:30 pm

What does "partially autistic" mean?



Bravo5150
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20 Aug 2019, 5:35 pm

Magna wrote:
What does "partially autistic" mean?


I think the use of "partially autistic" refers to a play on words as the whole thread is in reference to. The whole idea of the thread is to discuss different ideas on how to get people to understand the nature of the problem since apparently the most direct method seems to be a failure.



Magna
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20 Aug 2019, 5:40 pm

The reasons I wouldn't use that method:

1) The pessimistic/negative approach of disparaging the therapist isn't directly disparaging autism, but I take it as disparaging autism by association.
2) I echo what ToughDiamond astutely brought up: They could agree with you and then your plan backfires completely.



Angnix
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20 Aug 2019, 10:10 pm

I usually if the subject comes up tell the truth, people have suggested the diagnosis but I can't really claim it because I'm not officially diagnosed. People often will change the subject or in a few cases ask why I am not diagnosed.


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lvpin
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27 Aug 2019, 9:16 pm

I have experienced this SO many times and it makes me want to scream when it happens. Although, more often than the "I don't think you have autism", I get the "you can't blame your autism on everything" from people who believe I am autistic but this thing they take for granted can't possibly be affected by it so I must be making excuses. This happens when I ask for explanations or help, hence my frustration. I would love to turn it back on them but I wouldn't personally do what you suggested because it could backfire. So far I just get either angry and explain to them point by point my issues and how they (ironically) are not taking the time to step into my shoes or cry because it feels like being called a liar and try to explain later. Would love a third option.