Feeling like you are cursed

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For me, I always kind of felt like Asperger was something that came to me by being cursed, or something like that. I mean, why do I have it, and 90% of my friends dont have it? It's not a very happy feeling to know its relatively rare, especially in a place you grew up in and people around you dont have it and you're the only one with it. It definitely feels exactly the same as this site is called, a wrong planet, sometimes.

I have always felt AS was a curse too. Apparently only 1% of the world's population has it. That's a tiny number. Is it really that rare?

It is often discussed here that birth complications, premature births and smoking/drinking during pregnancy ups the risk of the baby having autism. But I was born naturally with no complications, and I was not born prematurely (in fact I was born later than my expected due date), and my mum never drank or smoked. But I still came out 'wrong'.

Neither of my parents are on the spectrum. All of my cousins seemed to have escaped it as well. My uncle has 3 sons, and they are 100% NT but have autism/AS people on both sides of their family. How come they escaped that faulty gene? My aunt is being assessed for ASD but I don't think she has enough traits to qualify - but both of her children turned out to be NTs too.

And lastly, even if my aunt (and a couple of other relatives of mine) may have it, they still have never been affected by it as severely as me, like having rage outbursts, letting obsessions take over my life, being hypersensitive to noise, and difficulties with friendships as a teen. To me AS is a disability, to my possible AS relatives it's just a difference more than a disability.

It sucks.

Nope. And autism is pretty much irrelevant.

I feel blessed... Too blessed -- blessed enough that fate probably coddled the wrong person.
Blessed enough to rely on uncertainty and chaos -- both of which aspies would usually avoid or dislike.

My whole life, I always believe I'm lucky... That most of my misfortunes are blessings in disguise -- which turned out to be the case. Made mistakes, either only for something else to catch me fall.
Or ended up giving something right -- some had been the end of my mistakes, and... Some people even thanked me for it. It's that crazy.
Despite not being an optimist myself, there's this certain attitude towards me since I was little. This was even before diagnosis or even being aware enough. It still does happen.


If there's someone around me who thought was cursed or even got accused as cursed, it's my sister. She's tired, yet she's doing well so far.

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Also I think my AS was a curse for my mother as well. When I was a kid I caught sight of a notepad that she had written her feelings down in, and one of the sentences said ''why can't my kid be normal?!'' She probably wrote that because I was a terrible kid to bring up, while all of my NT cousins had their moments of course but weren't as much of a burden as I was. I was such an emotionally badly-behaved child, that she nearly sent me away to a care home for children with autism and ADHD. But she loved me enough not to ever do that to me, as she said she'd never forgive herself if she did do that.
As a teenager I was even more of a burden because I had no friends and would spend hours crying to her about it, and I think she was heartbroken that nobody would accept her daughter for who she was. Then in my early 20's I kept feeling so frustrated with myself, that I self-harmed, threatened to kill myself, and had rage outbursts that upset others in the household, all because I hated myself so much for having AS.

So my mum spent the first 24 years of my life pulling her hair out (not literally). And I've got to live with the guilt of that for the rest of my life, all of which wouldn't have happened if I didn't have this sh***y f*****g cursed AS.

I often feel like I'm cursed, but autism has nothing to do with it. My curse is a rotting touch; no plant survives long under my care.

Cursed ... blessed ... whatever ...

I have an ASD, and that's what matters.

I don't feel like I'm "cursed."

It's not like I have leprosy or something.....

To say that people with autism are "cursed" is hyperbole at best.

I don't exactly feel cursed, there are certainly worse things to have. In fact I find there is an upside, I suspect I get far more intense pleasure from indulging my obsessions than most NT people would get from their hobbies. The story of the mother writing on her notebook 'Why can't my kid be normal' did make me sad though.

My mother, I'm sure, asks herself "why can't Kraftie be normal" every day in some journal she keeps

Hmm, not so much cursed with autism, I like who I am, but I feel cursed in the old dating department. One bad thing happens after another. Some of these things are not autism related and are completely outwith my control, sometimes beyond the control of the other person - like family issues or health problems. You couldnt make it up!

It's caused me plenty of misery, but I don't feel cursed. Many people struggle with problems in their lives, this just happens to be my problem.

Those who are into witchcraft like to think that they can convince people into thinking they have magic powers and supernatural abilities, even the power to put curses on people.

Although, from my study of the subject. The "curse" is nothing more than a covert gang bullying behaviourism,
where one group of sadistic people decide to victimise a person, with or with out reason.

They usually get their mates to spread rumours about curses, and how some people have magic powers etc.
In order to try and convince others that their gang bullying is really magic, and that they have magic powers.

Interestingly enough such a behaviourism are common among those who like drama, such as actors.
And the entertainment industry is a type of gang, or "insider" clique, and in some cases, there are cliques inside cliques.
Circles inside circles. That's NT's for you!

So. Yup. I would expel or dispel any notion of haven been cursed. It is all very childish and silly, at the least.
Murderous at the worst, but not due to magic powers, due to bigotry, sadism and illegal victimisation.

I am pleased that i am not cursed. I walk through the fires of hell unscathed, for heaven and hell are but a state of mind, or no mind, as the case may be. Be Just Be. Infinity.

I love how autistic your answer is madbutnotmad, and I mean that... someone mentioned a special interest I will divulge information on it!

I don't think the OP meant literally cursed, it's just a term of expression.