Sorry d33f, I was unaware you had replied directly to what I said.
I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is now being called Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder instead, and I've also been diagnosed with Mixed Personality Disorder, and the shrink wanted me on mood stabilizers (which I politely declined). Obviously the professionals have spotted something unstable or variable in my mood; whether it's actually attributable to my A.S.D. or whether it really does constitute a separate disorder in its own right is irrelevant.
If your partner has a personality disorder and you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder then co-existence will be a challenge for both, yet your relationship has lasted this many years, so surely there could still be hope for it.
Having children is an extra challenge in many relationships, I gather. I can't say much about that: it's not something I've experienced.
However, I am reminded of a girlfriend I had in my 20s. We had a very passionate relationship in every sense of the word. Yet ultimately I dumped her, after about six months, because she was prone to very sudden and hurtful mood swings that I couldn't handle. I've never had a relationship that close since, and I'm talking two decades ago. With all the therapy and all the life experience I've had since dumping her, almost every day I regret that I didn't make more of an effort to learn how to cope with her instability; we might or might not have ended up marrying, but I took the easy way out and walked away and the result was we were both unhappy for a long time afterwards: that relationship definitely ended too soon, though I'm not saying it would definitely have lasted forever. There was a spiritual bond and I threw it away, and both of us suffered as a result.
I think I know what you mean about getting hurt for who you are, but that's exactly what I wish I could have learned to cope with in the relationship I'm describing: I know I could have learned to cope, with the right help, and I know it would have been worth my while because it would have permitted a good relationship to last longer, even if not necessarily forever. Spiritual bonds don't exactly come along every five minutes.
So I hope you're still hanging in there and maybe the situation has moved on, in a healthy way, since your post above?
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You can't be proud of being Neurodivergent, because it isn't something you've done: you can only be proud of not being ashamed. (paraphrasing Quentin Crisp)
28 Aug 2019, 1:45 pm
