How the hell do you tell if someone is male or female?

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League_Girl
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27 Aug 2019, 4:54 pm

On the internet.

Some trans people get upset including cis people when you misgender them or someone else on accident. They accuse you of doing it intentionally which I think is rude to assume it is done intentionally and treating it as such.

I am talking about when people don't have any gender listed in their profile nor have it in their username like I do.

For those that get upset and think it's intentional, please tell us how we can get this magical ability to assume someone's gender correctly without being able to see their face and when there are no gender words in their profile or username? :roll: I am so sick and tired of people expecting me to be a mind reader I am now blocking people on social media whenever tbey are rude.

If someobe continues misgendering you after you have told them you are a guy or woman or male or female or prefer to be called they, not he or a she, then you can assume it's intentional. :D


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Gentleman Argentum
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27 Aug 2019, 5:09 pm

League_Girl wrote:
On the internet.

Some trans people get upset including cis people when you misgender them or someone else on accident. They accuse you of doing it intentionally which I think is rude to assume it is done intentionally and treating it as such.

I am talking about when people don't have any gender listed in their profile nor have it in their username like I do.

For those that get upset and think it's intentional, please tell us how we can get this magical ability to assume someone's gender correctly without being able to see their face and when there are no gender words in their profile or username? :roll: I am so sick and tired of people expecting me to be a mind reader I am now blocking people on social media whenever tbey are rude.

If someobe continues misgendering you after you have told them you are a guy or woman or male or female or prefer to be called they, not he or a she, then you can assume it's intentional. :D


I'd say it's them, not you. Yeah, block. Not all trans are really uptight like that, you just ran across a bad batch.


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League_Girl
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27 Aug 2019, 6:26 pm

I have seen some trans people speak up against this so it eased my anxiety. I realized it wasn't normal and there were actually :gasp: sane trans gender people and they won't chase me with pitchforks if I get their gender wrong by mistake. I have seen cis people flip out too over being misgendered. I just thought they were the stupid ones and I was right.


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Rabidnar
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04 Sep 2019, 7:09 pm

You could try just...asking? Like, "Hey, I see your gender isn't listed, what pronouns do you use?"



billowing
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05 Sep 2019, 12:21 pm

some people who are trans or are passionate about trans rights seem to be really sensitive about this kind of things, to the point where they oaint the walls full of demons. it must be hard living in a world that doesn't really accept you, but i think assuming malice right off the bat just makes life miserable. if someone attacks you for a honest mistake, and doesn't settle even if you explain it to them, it's their problem, not yours


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swordrat32
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07 Sep 2019, 3:29 pm

Agree with Rabidnar, ask for their pronouns. You can also give your pronouns at the same time to show you're not singling them out.

"Hey, I use [whatever pronouns you use], what pronouns do you use?"



Olivia_H
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22 Sep 2019, 5:21 am

If someone gets upset with you over that then they're probably not worth talking to. I've spent 7 years in the trans community as a transwoman and I can tell you that the loud-mouths who jump down your throat when you call them "he" or "she" or heaven forbid you forget to call someone by some ridiculous pronoun such as "zier" or "zim" aren't worth talking to, because they will find every opportunity they can to shout at you and "educate" you on their gender identity.
If their pronouns are important to them and they haven't got them listen, that's their problem and not yours. It's not down to the rest of the world to ask them what their pronouns are.

I personally find zero value in talking to people who behave this way.