heartlessaspergers.com

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Heartlessaspergers.com does not exist anymore, Wrong Planet does.

We won.

Huzzahs!

Why are we still talking about them, then?

It's hard to ignore, although I'm glad it has gone now.

I mean, people who accuse all Chinese people of having coronavirus goes unignored and is on the news, and the Chinese victims of this dumb accusation say that they feel upset, angered, offended, etc, by it, and that it's hard to ignore. Same goes with people going around posting one-sided, overexaggerated, offensive BS about autistic people. The world needs to know that autistics are capable of empathy and are not heartless, and the last thing we need is easy-to-stumble-upon sites on the internet basically telling people that we are all undateable and must be avoided because we are all heartless and selfish. It makes it worse when you're like me; a self-loathing Aspie who finds it hard to accept my AS.

I was married for over 15 years, happy most of the time. I don't remember ever asking him how he felt emotionally even though we talked all the time. I assumed he understood the depth of my attachment by my ability to live in the same house, we said I love you often but not much beyond that. Divorced over 15 years and have never connected that way since, so I still live alone.
I am so happy I learned about aspergers finally and am learning more about how others feel (I was very oblivious before to cause and effect). I want to do better by my kids but it will take practice. I still get looks because sometimes it comes out wrong - I'll say the end of my thought then have to go back and stumble to explain myself. I tried to fess up to my shortcomings and not sure if I made things worse or not. But I was a good mom I think - they were safe, had freedom, had necessities, an education, could 100% rely on what I said except in rare instances. I know they love me but I also still make them worry sometimes about my future.
And non-family if I'm not having fun or you make things feel like work I'll simply disappear. I don't owe you an explanation. I talk in generalizations so don't twist or infer depth into what I say. Unless I know you as part of a group you will never meet anyone else I know except by accident, Don't expect to be invited to my house but at a coffee shop or at your place is fine. If I talk to you more than once it's safe to assume I find you interesting - quirkiness, enthusiasm, the ability to tell a story are all great attributes.
My empathy quotient is only 11 but I do naturally react to positive things. I can't fake smile but live in a way that makes me comfortable so I get to smile and laugh a lot. If I'm not feeling you I come off as aloof because I'm trying to figure you out (just the facts, only interact when I have to). Not heartless, just misunderstood.

I've only met one heartless person and he was definitely not on the spectrum. He was a narcissistic psychopath. He came across as really decent and nice when you first met him, and always put on a charm and knew how to manipulate even the most intelligent, professional or socially skilled people into believing what a nice guy he is. But he got with one of my relatives with a 10-year-old daughter, and it turned out that he was a con-man, a compulsive liar, a paedophile, a woman-beater and a control freak. But he had a knack for convincing even the police that he was the victim, no matter how much evidence others had against his wicked ways.
I don't think he's even capable of love. He's heartless, very heartless. Give me an autistic person any day.

In the case of my girlfriend's relative, some people on the spectrum have very rough lives growing up & they may even feel empathy for others too greatly. As a result they may start to learn to close themselves off emotionally as a form of self protection. They may even appear selfish cuz they become so focused on themselves & their needs that they become inconsiderate to others. However saying they're heartless is a bit extreme cuz most people on the spectrum don't intentionally wanna use & take advantage of others unless they feel like they have no choice. For example I lived with my parents till I moved in with my girlfriend at 28. I was also demanding cuz of my special needs. My mom accused me of being selfish, manipulative, not caring about anyone but myself cuz I didn't wanna grow up & get a job & be independent. I'm disabled & was looking for work but having no luck. I was on SSI but I couldn't afford to give any to my parents to help out cuz half of my SSI went towards my needed medical expenses. I was trying to get my mental & physical disabilities treated in order for me to have a better chance of finding & maintaining employment. I felt awful about being forced to be dependent on my parents but I literally had no other options. My parents couldn't see things from my perspective that I felt trapped & was doing the best I could but lost as to what to do.