Why I don't do online dating

Post Reply New Topic

Honestly, I'd rather be alone than go through that.

Applying for a job is bad enough. You spend hours reading job adverts, applying, going to interviews.

That's how I see online dating, but you're not putting your skill set forward, you're offering up your whole personality and looks to be judged and evaluated by strangers.

Apparently by being a woman I can just get a lot of dates because of my gender. Most evenings I go home and fall asleep on the sofa because I'm so tired.

It's hard enough to make myself get out of bed in the morning and make myself look presentable for work.

I haven't got the energy to doll myself up and go and get evaluated for how I look, how I talk, how I act, what my life goals are, how funny I am, how good at conversation I am, how compatible I am.

And then after all that effort, when I'm already exhausted, get rejected for some arbitrary reason I have no control over.

Never mind, there's lots of people to meet. I'm a woman, loads of men will click on my profile and want to meet me.

And judge me as insufficient when they meet me.

No thank you.

I'd rather get some rest of go for a nice walk and recharge.

Don’t doll yourself up? Go be yourself how else will you find compatible mate?

Just make a profile being yourself, you’ll still get likes and messages. Don’t have to date them all so one date a week or month if that’s all you can handle.

As a woman on dating sites you can do whatever you want and still get dates. Women with no pictures and min profile get messages.

Guys are applying to date you not you them, you’re the employer.

They might judge you but you also might met your match who’d you’d never met cause he lives outside your social circle.
Close I got to relationship or dating was a lady who lives in 1 and half a way by car from me in another city. I’d never met her if nit for dating site.
I’d never met any of my dates if not for dating sites. If I did like you I’d never met anyone.

But it’s your choice, you can offer a horse water but you can’t make it drink.

You don’t seem happy. I know I’m not happy.i admit it.
I’m glad for dating sites, I got dates, they decided I’m not good enough but atleasr it was something, it gave me chances, I’m too old now, but you’re a successful woman, so you can go and meet guys online. I’m envious

If they judge you as insufficient when they meet you, maybe your profile pictures aren't honest?

Or more likely the men aren't honest.

Really, most of the Aspie community takes things too literally and doesn't realize that many of those sites are just for hookups.

The things you complained about online dating could all happen with meeting people offline too. So does this mean your not gonna try dating people offline either

Yeah, dating is a big pile of poop.

So many people I know had organic relationships that grew from friendships. That's what I want I won't settle for anything less. I'm not interviewing a load of randoms.

https://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-i ... file-ever/

I shall make an experiment of a goat on okcupid.

Each to their own but you're missing out on all the fun Hurtloam. I'll admit it's hard work at first but eventually it can be very rewarding.

I don't think that they'll judge you poorly! I was afraid of that too, initially. I matched with 200 guys on Tinder, and of those guys I met with 2. I made sure that we were compatible and liked each other, and I would say both relationships/flings were fairly successful.

Guy A was really into reading and literature. When I asked him a question about a book he was reading, he dropped a wall of text on me. That's how I knew I liked him.

Guy B was super chill and worked with kids with disabilities. He was very tolerant of my quirks.

I made sure to meet with guys I thought would be understanding of such deficits. Being a woman on online dating gives you a lot of options.

One thing I wish I'd done, though, was be upfront about how I expected such relationships to end. Ghosting/curving has become far too common.

I find the process immensely tedious due to the "chill", indifferent ambivalence of most people on the apps. They seem bored and aimless, as if online dating is some kind of cheap entertainment at another's expense.

When I message a woman on say Tinder, it's rare to get a response, and when I do, they are usually monosyllabic or full of tangential fluff, irrelevant to the objective. Time is money, so just get to the point and arrange a meeting, with specific times, dates and places or stop talking to me.

"I'd like to meet you in person."
"Sure."
"OK. I am free on Thursday and Friday evenings."
"Thursday suits me, after 5pm."
"Excellent, we'll make it 5pm. Text me a venue and your number. My number is xxxxxxxxx"
"My number is xxxxxxxxxx. We could meet at xxxxxxxx as it is close to my work and I like cocktails."
"Very well. I will see you there."

I have to laugh here, because in all my time dating online, I have never, ever had a conversation like this with a woman. If I ever find one who can talk this way, I'll marry her