I Have Kept Myself Single For A Reason.

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Mountain Goat
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11 Sep 2019, 11:49 am

Some of you may understand. Some won't.
I am cautious to protect women from being hurt. If I get scared I run. I am also not that much of an ideal person as there are plenty of better more suitable people out there then me.
I can't think of useful quaities I can offer that others can't offer. It could be because I don't think much of myself, and I want to protect ladies from being dissapointed... As I am not perfect. I have tried to be perfect but it never works.

So it is better for now, for me to be single. I will marry one day. If I see a perfect lady I will look elsewhere as I would not feel worthy of her love.

I don't know where I am at the moment in life other then that I am drifting... Not even pointing in any particular direction. So I wait. Wait to reach somewhere... Wait until either I can find the pieces and build myself back together, or I die. I don't like drifting.

When I used to have a good job with a good income (I used to be a high earner.. My income was the same as most teachers get) I never wanted to find a girlfriend who wanted me because I had a good job and a good income. I wanted a lady who would look past all that and see the real me.

But now I am vunerable and exposed, I feel I have nothing to offer! Strange isn't it!


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smudge
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11 Sep 2019, 12:42 pm

I think you're lovely and very deserving. I love the wisdom you come out with on here sometimes.

I really mean all of that.



Mountain Goat
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11 Sep 2019, 12:47 pm

Thank you Smudge. You are special and a blessing.


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DW_a_mom
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11 Sep 2019, 1:52 pm

Often what people offer to each other is as simple as the ability to understand and relate. That does not require success, riches or perfection. In fact, success, riches and attempts to be perfect can get in the way of feeling any real or deep connection. Since you do see yourself marrying someday, when you are ready and you do meet that person, I think you will understand what I mean. Meanwhile, enjoy this time in your life. Do you things you enjoy for yourself.

There are no such things as perfect people, just people that are perfect for each other as they bring together their unique flaws and baggage in a way that somehow makes both stronger.


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Mountain Goat
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11 Sep 2019, 2:22 pm

Thank you DW. Maybe if I bump into the right person one day. Yes. I am moee scared of my own flaws. I don't mind the other persons flaws so much. Yes, a few areas maybe I would avoid, but mainly because I would have a very different life to the ones some people may lead. Uhmmm. I am not quite sure what to do if I bumped into such a person now as I feel a bit fragile. Unless the person is good at knowing how to build me up a bit so I am stronger ad happier. :)


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martianprincess
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13 Sep 2019, 7:46 pm

Oof, I feel this way and I am married.
I am not sure that anyone expects perfection, and if they do, they aren't the right person for you.
I definitely think I've disappointed a lot of people but I still think I'm deserving of love. You most certainly are as well.


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Mountain Goat
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13 Sep 2019, 9:45 pm

Thank you. I could do with being loved. But the lady would probably need to hold onto me so I don't panic and run for it. Ummm. The dating bit is scarey at first isn't it?


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martianprincess
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13 Sep 2019, 9:49 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Thank you. I could do with being loved. But the lady would probably need to hold onto me so I don't panic and run for it. Ummm. The dating bit is scarey at first isn't it?


It’s really scary. It’s all about being vulnerable with someone and I really, really don’t like to be. It’s always come back to bite me. That doesn’t mean the same thing will happen to you, just trying to relate. Hah


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I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits


Mountain Goat
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13 Sep 2019, 9:53 pm

Yes. Being vunerable and trusting at the same time. Is a risk... But finding someone who is willing to take someone like me on... :) I think she will be amazing! :)


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Mountain Goat
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Today, 6:24 am

Question. Does anyone think I should start dating again? I don't have anything tomoffer. I have no income. Maybe I will wait until I have a job again, but if I do I will likely be having so many partial shutdowns that I would not be able to go dating.

I don-t think I can work again though to be honest. But I don't feel I can go dating unless I can contribute financially somehow. I am a man. Men are supposed to pay for things...


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martianprincess
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Today, 10:23 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Question. Does anyone think I should start dating again? I don't have anything tomoffer. I have no income. Maybe I will wait until I have a job again, but if I do I will likely be having so many partial shutdowns that I would not be able to go dating.

I don-t think I can work again though to be honest. But I don't feel I can go dating unless I can contribute financially somehow. I am a man. Men are supposed to pay for things...


You could definitely try it! I know someone who is using a dating website or app (can't quite recall) specifically for adults with autism. You don't have to go that route though.

You also don't have to pay for everything on a date, and there are plenty of ways to go on dates for free or mega cheap (going to a park, getting a coffee, are two that I can think of).


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I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits


martianprincess
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Today, 10:24 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Question. Does anyone think I should start dating again? I don't have anything tomoffer. I have no income. Maybe I will wait until I have a job again, but if I do I will likely be having so many partial shutdowns that I would not be able to go dating.

I don-t think I can work again though to be honest. But I don't feel I can go dating unless I can contribute financially somehow. I am a man. Men are supposed to pay for things...


Also I want you to think of things about you that you can offer a partner that aren't materialistic/income related.


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The phone ping from a pillow fort in a corn maze
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I don't even really like horses
I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits


Mountain Goat
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Today, 10:42 am

Ummm. Only "Me" left. Haha. Ok. Me and some scenery.

I can do a sense of humour foe a while. Would that work? Uhmmm.


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Mountain Goat
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Today, 10:53 am

martianprincess wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Question. Does anyone think I should start dating again? I don't have anything tomoffer. I have no income. Maybe I will wait until I have a job again, but if I do I will likely be having so many partial shutdowns that I would not be able to go dating.

I don-t think I can work again though to be honest. But I don't feel I can go dating unless I can contribute financially somehow. I am a man. Men are supposed to pay for things...


Also I want you to think of things about you that you can offer a partner that aren't materialistic/income related.


Thanks. I will need to have a think. Anyone know anything?


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martianprincess
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Today, 11:05 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
martianprincess wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Question. Does anyone think I should start dating again? I don't have anything tomoffer. I have no income. Maybe I will wait until I have a job again, but if I do I will likely be having so many partial shutdowns that I would not be able to go dating.

I don-t think I can work again though to be honest. But I don't feel I can go dating unless I can contribute financially somehow. I am a man. Men are supposed to pay for things...


Also I want you to think of things about you that you can offer a partner that aren't materialistic/income related.


Thanks. I will need to have a think. Anyone know anything?


I'll give you some examples: you're thoughtful, you're funny, you're caring (as evidenced by your very endearing relationship with your mom).

Your turn.


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The phone ping from a pillow fort in a corn maze
I don't have a horse in your war games
I don't even really like horses
I like wild orchids and neighbors with wide orbits