I Have Kept Myself Single For A Reason.

Post Reply New Topic

Umm. No idea.

Thinking about myself in this way is not wasy.

I will never try to hurt anyone. I am concerned incase I say something that causes a lady I would be dating to feel sad. I want them to be happy.

You're not vindictive. Good trait.
You're thoughtful and considerate.

See, you just said two things.

I know it's hard to think about yourself in such a way but it's helpful for building your self esteem, and in turn it will help you be successful in a relationship.

I'm not a mass murderer...
I have a sense of humour.

You really do! I've always thought you were funny, I'm glad you recognize that in yourself!

Hah. Well. I also use humour as a mask. So I have a "Sense of...." humour.

I wonder if guys with a decent income have ever tried pretending to be poor on the first date.

^^^That would be weird lol

I'm a millionaire with a million trains... (Ummm. Nope. It's not working... No queue of ladies lining up yet! HAHA!).

Unfortunately the vast majority of women are not interested in whether you are nice. That factor probably comes a few places behind shoe size. Part of the reason humanity is in such a dire state is because of this selective drive, which may increase survival chances for individuals and small groups but diminishes them for larger ones.

The sad fact is humans are animals motivated by animal instincts, albeit these are often hidden and suppressed. But they lie at the core of all human behaviour. Which areas of the brain do you think light up when two humans speak to each other of the opposite sex? Which chemicals are exchanged? It's not rocket science. Freud's view is backed by neurology.

When looking for a wife you should effectively think in terms of a cat or higher social animal. Who would they like to mate with? Dominance, social status, physical attributes - essentially, what they are going to get from it, along with (potentially) their offspring. Of course their own position, needs, mental structure etc has relevance.

I'm looking at this as an alien would , based purely on science. I'm aware many people will disagree, and turn to the ethereal world of social constructions. It's up to you which direction you want to go.

Aha. My future children would all have whiskers and tails!

Actually plenty of women like "nice" men, that's a ridiculous stereotype I wish we'd stop perpetuating.

Also funny how this "animal instinct" thing only ever seems to come out when we're talking about men pursuing women.

Well maybe it's different to varying degrees. All I can say is, in 30 years observation, the vast majority of singles I've known are in the 'nice' category. On the other hand, the amount of women with egotistical , selfish brutes is astounding (and yes they could have usually had nicer options to choose from). Biologically there's reasons for this as explained. The amount of internet articles talking about the phenomenon is huge.

I am a nice person but until I stopped displaying 'nice' attributes I was pretty much always single. Throw in a dash of nastiness, egoism and just plain shallowness and the interest from women was quadrupled. It's sad, and seemingly counterintuitive, until you look at the science behind it.

Of course nice is a subjective value on some level and not everyone will be the same.

Internet articles don't equal quality research.

I'm sure there are some people that some of the traits you're saying are true for. I'm not sure some of it is biological as much as it's sociological. But arguing semantics is silly mostly.

Do you really want a relationship based on "nastiness, egoism, and shallowness?" That seems worse than being single.

One thing I've noticed about long term relationships that are based on such qualities is that they're usually not happy unions. Especially with a marriage context. Seems like more work than it's worth.

I once went on a type of afternoon or day date. It ended up driving a lady and her Mum and someone else about 100 or more miles. I didn't mind. They needed to be somewhere to be dropped off. The lady I was dating for the day... I then drove her back home after having a few hours walking on a beach. She was quite a different character. A nice lady, but more of a natural extrovert. She was open and honest about things which I respected. She had talked to her friend about me and what she thought about me. She said I was too nice. I realize we were too different, so it wasn't something I felt would have worked as one of us... Or both of us would have to change too much for it to work.
Anyway. It was a "Nice" compliment to have.

You're kidding! Did you show them your trains? No women can resist a man with trains.

I know! Ok. I only reached a tad over 100 trains... But somehow, girls these days just don't seem impressed. I am having to sell many of them now though to keep the car on the road.