Unwritten rules about getting drunk certain situations

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Dunno what the informal rules are for NTs who get drunk, but I personally think the safest thing for autistic people, at least, is just to avoid getting drunk at all. It seems to me that the whole idea of getting drunk in order to fit in socially is just not a good idea.

If you're socially awkward to begin with, getting drunk will only make you even more socially clueless than you would be otherwise.

At best, drinking (up to a point at least) might enable a person to talk more smoothly. But I personally prefer not to associate with the kind of people who value smoothness over actual interesting conversational content in the first place. Drinking definitely diminishes the latter.

I actually disagree with you when it comes to drinking because I feel there is a time and place for an aspie/autie can get a drink. It really depends on if the individual is mature enough to do so. Now that I am older, I don't care to get drunk at parties, which I did that one time. I much prefer to have a wine and beer with dinner. I usually like to get local craft beers. I also like wine tasting which my late aunt introduced me to years ago.

Now, I have a former friend of mine who is also autistic that has figured out how to connect with NTs though he's younger and a bit immature. He happened to be accepted by a group of NT peers at a singles ministry who are heavy drinkers. Unlike me, he seemed to maintain lots of friends and become popular. However, I am wondering if that's because he a male and can get away with such things as a result?

And maybe most important of all - the right company! I'm very cautious about how much I drink around strangers or judgemental people - I know that when I'm tiddly, my mask will always slip a bit so that the "autistic me" comes to the surface more. With close friends who are cool with my autism, I'm much more carefree, because I know that they'll accept this, and I'm less "masked" when I'm around those people even when I'm sober.


I think you're right that some of the "unwritten rules" about drinking are gender biased, though I think maybe a bit less so now than when I was much younger (here in the UK at least.) There is still very much a culture that "real men" should be proud of how much they can consume and that it's something to brag about, which seems to be frowned upon if a woman were to do the same thing (though of course, it's unhealthy behaviour whoever is doing it!)

The important thing is that, when you're drinking, you are actually enjoying it without there being any bad side-effects on your life, and that you're not just doing it because you feel that you have to just to fit in with the social scene (or worse still, because you feel that you "need" to drink or are self-medicating.)

I wanted so badly to be friends with my roommates being that we shared the same house and tried to win them over when I got drunk at that time. Unfortunately, the opposite happened.

Well years later, my former friend also introduced me to the same singles ministry which he attended in which I attended their parties. I had too much to drink at one of their New Year's parties and but not one got mad at me there for "Acting up." In fact, that hostess was cool with it. "Oh, you know what's it's New Year's."

^ It was the same for me when I left my parents' home to go to University. I was totally out of my depth socially, and I thought that alcohol would make socialising easier for me. I sure got that wrong - some of things I got up to when I was really drunk horrify me when I look back on them (and that's only the ones I actually remember!)

I just woke up to a roommate who was "In a bad mood" but seemed to be nicer to everyone else. Meanwhile, her friends who crashed over there were extremely nice and understanding.