Mountain Goat wrote:
But I can go from happiness to depression in a few minutes. I can also go through weeks or even months of depression, but then I can go for a long time without it and be joyful. Such is life.
@Mountain Goat, I wonder that the bulk of my depression was related to managing (or lack thereof) ASD (differences). I will give some examples that I am overcoming now that I am self-DX'd.
* Past - I was talking "too" fast, I noticed, I was embarrassed, I judged myself aberrant, I slowed down (or fell silent), I was depressed
* Present - I talk faster than others, I realize my ASD is "showing" (talk too fast, or not at all), I then choose: to continue (no masking), acknowledge the situation (for NTs: I realize I am talking quickly, I am excited, are you ok?), or slow down --- my choice to accommodate others (not in "wrongness"), I am content
* Past - I was dancing "too" fast or pacing, others told me, I was embarrassed, I judged myself aberrant, I stopped or slowed down, I was depressed
* Present - I dance with passion, I realize my ASD is "showing" (stim dance!), I then choose: to continue (no masking), acknowledge the situation (for NTs: I dance like no one is watching!) or slow down --- my choice to accommodate others (not in "wrongness"), I am content
