Should introverts just not have relationships

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kraftiekortie
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24 Sep 2019, 5:23 am

^^This is the way many people meet in the US, too (i.e., “through friends”).

They meet within things like choirs and treks. And also their co-workers. I had three girlfriends who were co-workers.

I would say most couples do NOT meet in bars and venues like that.



WalkerTR
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24 Sep 2019, 6:50 am

The pairing of extrovert/introvert seems to happen a lot, in the few cases I've seen it is toxic unfortunately.

The extrovert probably thought they were getting someone who would sit and listen to them,but really the introvert wants to do their own thing.

The introvert probably thought they were wrong for being quiet and now has found someone to help with that?



shortfatbalduglyman
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24 Sep 2019, 4:05 pm

Some introverts should not have relationships

Some introverts should have relationships

Some extroverts should have relationships

Some extroverts should not have relationships

You have to say, which introvert



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24 Sep 2019, 4:32 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I'm really an introvert and my girlfriend complains I don't spend enough time with her. I need my alone time. When she gets upset that I'm not paying attention to her she deliberately tries to annoy me. At first I thought she was just evil but eventually she told me it's because she wants attention.

I guess for her negative attention is better than none at all. She asks me why I even wanted to have a girlfriend when I want to spend nearly all of my time alone. I guess it's because being single made me feel like a loser and my brother was teasing me about being a virgin. So should people like me who just want to be alone not have relationships.


Firstly, sounds like you need to ask yourself “What do I want?” I’m an introvert and have long enjoyed very intense friendships/relationships. Balance is key. Relationships need to be cherished and nurtured. Maybe you’re not ready, or with the right person?



jimmy m
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24 Sep 2019, 6:31 pm

sly279 wrote:
jimmy m wrote:
About half the world are introverts and the other half are extroverts.


Where’s data that shows that?
I’d wager it’s 80/20 at most


Around 49.3% of the world’s populations are extroverts and 50.7% are introverts [according to the 1998 MBTI Manual]


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martianprincess
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24 Sep 2019, 10:12 pm

Maybe you two aren't compatible?

Introverts can have relationships just fine. You have to establish wants/needs with your partner and figure out how to compromise. Some people have scheduled blocks of time with their partner that they devote to them, which could work for you and your girlfriend, since she'd have a concrete time to look forward to and you'd know exactly when you need to put whatever it is you're doing down and spend time with her rather than seclude yourself.

If all you want to do is spend time alone and you don't enjoy spending time with your girlfriend, you're probably just not going to be happy with having a girlfriend and you need to respect her enough to break up.


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Rainbow_Belle
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25 Sep 2019, 6:13 am

Introverted people, in general, are less likely to meet large numbers of people. You rarely have the energy to do "that kind of stuff" (party, high-energy activities, et.al.). Usually, this means that introverts will talk and interact with fewer people, and thus fewer potential dates, in a given period of time. Add in the inability to get comfortable quickly, and the imbalance grows.

That vibe, that energy you emit as a person. It can make people wanna hang around you, people wanna talk to you, girls or boys are more inclined to date you. If you lack that certain energy or vibe than it can be the total opposite. It’s more that just being nice, mannered, having worldly possessions or a silver tongue. Being an introvert myself I know the feeling of loneliness can have. People sense it and they don't want to be around you let alone a girl or guy you wanna date.

We live in a culture that worships extroverts and outgoing people. Extroverts are regarded as positive energy. Extroverts get along best with other extroverts and rarely want to be with introverts. There are no disadvantages of being an extrovert because you have lots of friends and people are drawn to your positive energy. Introverts are often regarded as negative energy/aura by extroverts.



kraftiekortie
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25 Sep 2019, 6:26 am

People sometimes get suspicious of quiet people who don’t socialize.

If you express the opinion that saying hello is a useless ritual, you won’t win many friends.

I’m an introvert who knows the value of superficial greetings—while knowing they just might be superfluous when it comes right down to it.