Should introverts just not have relationships

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SportsGamer35728
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20 Sep 2019, 11:45 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Wouldn't dating another introvert be a better solution than giving up on relationships entirely?

Not according to my family! :P They think I should be with someone extroverted in order to bring me out of my shell



BenderRodriguez
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20 Sep 2019, 12:02 pm

SportsGamer35728 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Wouldn't dating another introvert be a better solution than giving up on relationships entirely?

Not according to my family! :P They think I should be with someone extroverted in order to bring me out of my shell


Bleargh, I hate hearing this huge misconception again and again. Too many people think that introverts are shy and/or hate people. It's just not true, extroverts recharge their batteries by being with others, while introverts recharge by being alone, that's all there is to it. Don't pay attention to this nonsense.

As for the OP, yes, introverts can be in relationships, including happy, fulfilling ones. You need a compatible partner and some accommodations need to be made on both sides. It doesn't necessarily have to be another introvert, either. jimmy m is a great example of someone who has a good, balanced relationship with an extrovert.


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20 Sep 2019, 1:07 pm

BenderRodriguez wrote:
SportsGamer35728 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Wouldn't dating another introvert be a better solution than giving up on relationships entirely?

Not according to my family! :P They think I should be with someone extroverted in order to bring me out of my shell


Bleargh, I hate hearing this huge misconception again and again. Too many people think that introverts are shy and/or hate people. It's just not true, extroverts recharge their batteries by being with others, while introverts recharge by being alone, that's all there is to it. Don't pay attention to this nonsense.

As for the OP, yes, introverts can be in relationships, including happy, fulfilling ones. You need a compatible partner and some accommodations need to be made on both sides. It doesn't necessarily have to be another introvert, either. jimmy m is a great example of someone who has a good, balanced relationship with an extrovert.

Seconded. You can be happy as an introvert, in a relationship with either intro- or extrovert but certainly someone who loves you as an introvert.


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20 Sep 2019, 1:14 pm

magz wrote:
Seconded. You can be happy as an introvert, in a relationship with either intro- or extrovert but certainly someone who loves you as an introvert.


Thirded.

In my case, it's more than introversion which keeps me single. It's a host of sensory issues and other personal preferences. There's no reason why an introvert shouldn't seek or maintain a relationship, if they truly desire companionship.



Rainbow_Belle
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21 Sep 2019, 4:37 am

Introverted males are better off being alone and not trying.
Extroverted males have it a lot easier than introverted males.
Males must be the initiators and they can not afford to sit and wait for someone to ask them out.
Introvert have limited access to social networks and being an introverted male is far worse than being an introverted female
Most introverts have boring lives and are not interesting as more out going, friendly extroverts.



magz
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21 Sep 2019, 4:55 am

Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Introverted males are better off being alone and not trying.
Extroverted males have it a lot easier than introverted males.
Males must be the initiators and they can not afford to sit and wait for someone to ask them out.
Introvert have limited access to social networks and being an introverted male is far worse than being an introverted female
Most introverts have boring lives and are not interesting as more out going, friendly extroverts.

What a wonderful collection of misconceptions.

Introverts' lives are boring only for extroverts. And from a perspective of an introvert, most extroverts' lives are shallow and their friendliness is only superficial. They can't see the fascinating depth of things.

The Anglo-Saxon culture is sick in its pressure to be smiling and outgoing.


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21 Sep 2019, 6:01 am

Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Introverted males are better off being alone and not trying.
Extroverted males have it a lot easier than introverted males.
Males must be the initiators and they can not afford to sit and wait for someone to ask them out.
Introvert have limited access to social networks and being an introverted male is far worse than being an introverted female
Most introverts have boring lives and are not interesting as more out going, friendly extroverts.

You just described my life to a T, excuse me while I find a stone to crawl under :lol:
Seriously though, it is possible to have wonderful relationships as an introverted male with partners who appreciate our qualities, it's possible to experience love.



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21 Sep 2019, 6:59 am

magz wrote:
Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Introverted males are better off being alone and not trying.
Extroverted males have it a lot easier than introverted males.
Males must be the initiators and they can not afford to sit and wait for someone to ask them out.
Introvert have limited access to social networks and being an introverted male is far worse than being an introverted female
Most introverts have boring lives and are not interesting as more out going, friendly extroverts.

What a wonderful collection of misconceptions.

Introverts' lives are boring only for extroverts. And from a perspective of an introvert, most extroverts' lives are shallow and their friendliness is only superficial. They can't see the fascinating depth of things.

The Anglo-Saxon culture is sick in its pressure to be smiling and outgoing.

This, thank you!


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Rainbow_Belle
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21 Sep 2019, 8:15 am

Introverts usually get along better with other introverts.
Extroverts usually get along better with other extroverts.
Relationships between introverts and extroverts rarely last, because Extroverts need to be surrounded by people. The constant attention energises them and they feel sad when they are on their own. Introverts find being on their own energises them and they feel drained when engaging in social interactions.
Introverts do not crave to be centre of attention and they have few or no friends and prefer being alone, they talk less and think a lot.
Extroverts crave being the centre of attention and they talk a lot, think less, they have lots of friends and like being around people and get sad when on their own.
Introverts are regarded as having inferior social/communication skills because they do not engage with others and avoid social situations.
Extroverts are regarded as having superior social/communication skills because they with others and embrace social situations.



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22 Sep 2019, 11:01 pm

I'm an introvert who LOVES spending a lot of time with his partner. I just don't wanna spend time with anyone else.


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22 Sep 2019, 11:49 pm

Aspergers/Autistic people are more likely extreme introverts and they can be clingy, needy, jealous, insecure, possessive, manipulative and controlling and this lead to a toxic relationship. An introvert being dependent upon someone else leads to a toxic relationship that does not end well. An introvert has limited social/communication skills and that is the reason why they find it hard to make friend and they can become dependent upon another person in a relationship.



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23 Sep 2019, 12:06 am

Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Aspergers/Autistic people are more likely extreme introverts and they can be clingy, needy, jealous, insecure, possessive, manipulative and controlling and this lead to a toxic relationship. An introvert being dependent upon someone else leads to a toxic relationship that does not end well. An introvert has limited social/communication skills and that is the reason why they find it hard to make friend and they can become dependent upon another person in a relationship.

I think you confuse introvertion with mental health issues.
Both are common among AS people but while introversion is the way one is, mental health issues can be adressed.


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Dial1194
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23 Sep 2019, 2:04 am

Honestly, it just sounds like a personality/preference mismatch between two people, not anything which should be extrapolated to either introverts or extroverts in general.

You're not getting along and you want different things. OK, fine, that happens sometimes. Break up amicably and both of you find someone who's more into the same things you are. Relationships aren't some kind of measure of self-worth, for crying out loud.



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23 Sep 2019, 3:03 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yes, let's die alone.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Boo, you always make me laugh. You extend my life, dearest Boo. :heart:


Have it easy.

Don't die from heart attack, dear.



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23 Sep 2019, 1:25 pm

Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Aspergers/Autistic people are more likely extreme introverts and they can be clingy, needy, jealous, insecure, possessive, manipulative and controlling and this lead to a toxic relationship. An introvert being dependent upon someone else leads to a toxic relationship that does not end well. An introvert has limited social/communication skills and that is the reason why they find it hard to make friend and they can become dependent upon another person in a relationship.
I'm kinda like that but I'm the oposit of the stereotypical Aspie in a relationship in some ways & I do have various mental health issues like Magz touched on. From what I've read on this forum, the stereotypical Aspie may try very hard & want to spend a lot of time with their partner at the beginning of a relationship but the Aspie gets burnt out after a while & wants a lot of alone time & space from his partner. In some cases this leads to the Aspie breaking up with their partner or the Aspie ignoring their partner till their partner breaks up with him.


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24 Sep 2019, 2:24 am

nick007 wrote:
Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Aspergers/Autistic people are more likely extreme introverts and they can be clingy, needy, jealous, insecure, possessive, manipulative and controlling and this lead to a toxic relationship. An introvert being dependent upon someone else leads to a toxic relationship that does not end well. An introvert has limited social/communication skills and that is the reason why they find it hard to make friend and they can become dependent upon another person in a relationship.
I'm kinda like that but I'm the oposit of the stereotypical Aspie in a relationship in some ways & I do have various mental health issues like Magz touched on.
I also have various mental health issues so I know what I'm telling. Keep strong, brother :sunny:
nick007 wrote:
From what I've read on this forum, the stereotypical Aspie may try very hard & want to spend a lot of time with their partner at the beginning of a relationship but the Aspie gets burnt out after a while & wants a lot of alone time & space from his partner. In some cases this leads to the Aspie breaking up with their partner or the Aspie ignoring their partner till their partner breaks up with him.
It's probably sort of reasonong:
1. What kind of guys are perceived as attractive around me?
2. Anglo-Saxon culture values outgoing extroverts the most.
3. Let's play an outgoing extrovert!
4. Indeed, I have attracted someone.
5. Geez, how long do I need to play soemone I am not? I just can't do it any more!

I wish I knew the answer for it :( I mean, yeah, find someone who loves you for who you are not for who you pretend to be - but where to seek such persons?
Me and my husband met in a choir. My parents met on a trekking camp. I live in a different culture but maybe it's a direction to try - hobbies.


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