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Autistic people hating successful Autistic people?

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SuSaNnA
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19 Sep 2019, 1:09 pm

My observation may not be accurate, but I've seen way more autistic people hating when another autistic person has gained success. (compared to NTs hating on another NT's success)

Recently, a blind, autistic male has won America's Got Talent.
While there some autistic people who are happy for him, there seems to be even more autistic people who hate him or felt angry about his success.

They said they felt triggered, and claimed that the winner's mother was insensitive.

Some even said things like "She (the winner's mother) is implying that we don't try hard enough."
Or things like "People need to understand that not all autistic people are talented."

I've also seen (on separate occasions) that autistic people trying to tear down other autistic people for gaining some success.

I don't understand why they do that. Why can't we be more supportive towards other autistic people?
Why do people feel the need to tear them down?



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19 Sep 2019, 1:34 pm

SuSaNnA wrote:
Why do people feel the need to tear them down?
From personal experience, success by one autistic person seems to be perceived by SOME less-successful autistic people as either discrediting their identity or image as disabled people, or being somehow the cause of their self-generated misery. It's as if they're saying things like:

"How dare you diminish the severity of my suffering by proving that it can be overcome?!"

"Your success denies me my right to use my disability as an excuse for all my failures!"

"It's people like you who are the reason why I can't get a girlfriend!"

I also believe that, deep down inside, they feel that someone else's success only magnifies their own failure; that this magnification is even greater when the successful person has the same disabilities as they do; and that this feeling is commonly called "Jealousy".


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19 Sep 2019, 3:17 pm

I don't have anything against successful autistic people (or successful non-autistic people, for that matter). What I take issue with is being compared to them, like "This autistic person was able to do that thing, why can't you do something similar?" or "If this autistic person could do that thing, then you should be capable of doing this other thing - you just don't want to or are not trying hard enough." Said autistic people are not me, I don't necessarily have skills or talents in the areas that they do which allowed them to succeed. Good for them, but it doesn't make me any more capable of success.


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Fnord
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19 Sep 2019, 3:32 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
I don't have anything against successful autistic people (or successful non-autistic people, for that matter). What I take issue with is being compared to them, like "This autistic person was able to do that thing, why can't you do something similar?" or "If this autistic person could do that thing, then you should be capable of doing this other thing - you just don't want to or are not trying hard enough." Said autistic people are not me, I don't necessarily have skills or talents in the areas that they do which allowed them to succeed. Good for them, but it doesn't make me any more capable of success.
Sure, being compared unfavorably to a more successful person really sucks, but have you ever hated successful people for their success?


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dragonsanddemons
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19 Sep 2019, 3:40 pm

Fnord wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
I don't have anything against successful autistic people (or successful non-autistic people, for that matter). What I take issue with is being compared to them, like "This autistic person was able to do that thing, why can't you do something similar?" or "If this autistic person could do that thing, then you should be capable of doing this other thing - you just don't want to or are not trying hard enough." Said autistic people are not me, I don't necessarily have skills or talents in the areas that they do which allowed them to succeed. Good for them, but it doesn't make me any more capable of success.
Sure, being compared unfavorably to a more successful person really sucks, but have you ever hated successful people for their success?


No. Sure, I might be a bit jealous sometimes because I don't have any skills or talents to make use of (at least, not that I've found so far), or feel bad about myself for not being able to do something similar, but I can't recall ever actually resenting someone simply for being successful.


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19 Sep 2019, 4:10 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
I don't have anything against successful autistic people (or successful non-autistic people, for that matter). What I take issue with is being compared to them, like "This autistic person was able to do that thing, why can't you do something similar?" or "If this autistic person could do that thing, then you should be capable of doing this other thing - you just don't want to or are not trying hard enough." Said autistic people are not me, I don't necessarily have skills or talents in the areas that they do which allowed them to succeed. Good for them, but it doesn't make me any more capable of success.



+1 Agree totally.



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19 Sep 2019, 4:14 pm

What gets me is when ignorant people use a successful disabled person as a tool to trivialise other disabled persons problems.



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19 Sep 2019, 4:16 pm

Fnord wrote:
SuSaNnA wrote:
Why do people feel the need to tear them down?
From personal experience, success by one autistic person seems to be perceived by SOME less-successful autistic people as either discrediting their identity or image as disabled people, or being somehow the cause of their self-generated misery. It's as if they're saying things like:

"How dare you diminish the severity of my suffering by proving that it can be overcome?!"

"Your success denies me my right to use my disability as an excuse for all my failures!"

"It's people like you who are the reason why I can't get a girlfriend!"

I also believe that, deep down inside, they feel that someone else's success only magnifies their own failure; that this magnification is even greater when the successful person has the same disabilities as they do; and that this feeling is commonly called "Jealousy".



Fnord, you have a way of articulating on an issue in a direct and insightful manner. Well said sir.


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19 Sep 2019, 4:17 pm

firemonkey wrote:
What gets me is when ignorant people use a successful disabled person as a tool to trivialise other disabled persons problems.
Such as...

"Why can't you be more like Temple Grandin?" :roll:


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19 Sep 2019, 7:12 pm

While not the only reason it must be noted that jealousy is a part of human nature.

I have not seen personal animus directed at Kodi Lee the autistic America's got talent winner. People have been offended at the perceived inspiration porn NT reaction to him.


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19 Sep 2019, 7:23 pm

I agree that this behavior is prevalent in NTs as well. I've heard that trashing someone else's success is similar to a phenomenon noted in crabs that are caught in a trap, tank, etc. Apparently if one crab tries to have a go at escaping (ie succeed), other crabs apparently pull the escaping crab back down among them to prevent it.

That's what people do but in a different way.

I wish the world was inundated with successful autistic people, personally.

The only thing that I'm cautious about is the world correlating autism with the various activities or causes that certain autistics undertake or represent. People should be viewed based on the activities, causes, efforts or accomplishments apart from their autism. Autistic people are human as well and prone to fallibility. The last thing I'd want to see, for example, is "the world" to correlate autism with Greta Thunberg's cause. I have nothing wrong with her cause, but she's human. What if she turned out to be a hypocritical sham in the future? Leave autism out of that.



SuSaNnA
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19 Sep 2019, 11:50 pm

Fnord wrote:
SuSaNnA wrote:
Why do people feel the need to tear them down?
From personal experience, success by one autistic person seems to be perceived by SOME less-successful autistic people as either discrediting their identity or image as disabled people, or being somehow the cause of their self-generated misery. It's as if they're saying things like:

"How dare you diminish the severity of my suffering by proving that it can be overcome?!"

"Your success denies me my right to use my disability as an excuse for all my failures!"

"It's people like you who are the reason why I can't get a girlfriend!"

I also believe that, deep down inside, they feel that someone else's success only magnifies their own failure; that this magnification is even greater when the successful person has the same disabilities as they do; and that this feeling is commonly called "Jealousy".

This is a really great explanation.
Now I understand completely.
Thank you so much.

"Your success denies me my right to use my disability as an excuse for all my failures!"
This mentality is prevalent in some Facebook autism communities!
I've seen people using autism as an excuse to justify their failure and for really bad behavior (such as insults)-- swearing at people, calling people trash, just to name a few.



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20 Sep 2019, 12:09 am

I don't hate successful autistic people at all. I admire them and celebrate their successes.


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20 Sep 2019, 12:19 am

...Buncha PLAYA HATAS!! !! !! !! !! ! :mrgreen: Yo, yo, yo, yo, Homes. what up wit dat? :lol: knowhatimsayin? 8) :P



kjeezy0127
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20 Sep 2019, 12:44 am

I don't hate autistic successful people at all. I'm actually proud that they were able to overcome their autism to be successful.



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20 Sep 2019, 5:18 am

I've seen this too. I don't personally hate the more succesful autistic people, but I do get jealous at times.