Autistic people hating successful Autistic people?

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shortfatbalduglyman
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21 Sep 2019, 7:38 am

When I was young, my precious lil "parents" used to tell me that "your sister is so smart. Why are you not like that?"

(Correct)


A counselor correctly told me that "you are not your sister"


The high school Dean told me that :skull: "comparing children to their sisters is the worst thing you can do to a child" :skull:

Nobody said "you are your sister"



"The worst thing" is, subject to imagination


That hyperbole (marked in skills) made me feel like, reverse psychology and devil's advocate



Sometimes jealousy and resentment are natural, involuntary, justified or subconscious. Jealousy is not taboo. Nor should it be .


But please put more emphasis on your life and less emphasis on jealousy



Some people are better at some things than others. Nature versus nurture. Some people have more total skill and potential than others.



"Do your best" is correct. But sometimes insufficient for the situation. For example, if you "do your best", it doesn't prevent you from, getting canned from work or expelled or whatever.


"Don't put all your eggs in one basket" is more like it



Fnord
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21 Sep 2019, 8:18 am

SuSaNnA wrote:
I don't think Fnord sounds condescending/ snarky to me. But I'm the type of person who gets told that I'm condescending...
Tell some people something factual they didn't already know, or that contradicts their incorrect world-view, and automatically you become arrogant, condescending, didactic, smarmy, et cetera to them.

Off-line, showing any measure of confidence greater than their own somehow automatically make you an a$$-h0L3 to them.

All the more reason to not be concerned about what other people think of you.


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firemonkey
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21 Sep 2019, 8:29 am

Surely it's about how you impart your knowledge that matters as to whether you are seen as a pompous PITA ?


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Rainbow_Belle
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21 Sep 2019, 8:34 am

Successful people usually come from a middle or upper middle class background that has enabled them to make the most of their talents to reach their full potential. People that fail to reach their potential do not come from a social class that enables them reach their full potential in life. It is social class that often decides whether someone is successful with in life or not. Higher social class provides more opportunities to achieve full potential regardless if you have Autism or not.

Having Autism puts a person in a significant disadvantage to someone who does not have Autism. Coming from a higher social class is critical to provide the opportunities that an Autistic person needs access to provide the opportunities to reach their full potential in life. Tearing down barriers and easier access to opportunities is critical in providing equal opportunity to all people.



Fnord
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21 Sep 2019, 8:40 am

firemonkey wrote:
Surely it's about how you impart your knowledge that matters as to whether you are seen as a pompous PITA ?
It doesn't matter. I could present it in the most polite and friendly way I can muster, and I may as well be accusing the recipient of being stupid. Nobody likes being told that what they've just spoken or written is incorrect, even if they invite correction. A typical example:

HE: "... in conclusion, A + B = C. Correct me if I'm wrong."

ME: "Okay ... A + B = D x E. See? I've done the math."

HE: "Gee. Thanks a lot ... (ya bloody wanker) ..."

ME: "Howzatt?"

HE: "Nothing ... nothing ..."[/color]


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Fireblossom
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21 Sep 2019, 8:52 am

Fnord wrote:
firemonkey wrote:
Surely it's about how you impart your knowledge that matters as to whether you are seen as a pompous PITA ?
It doesn't matter. I could present it in the most polite and friendly way I can muster, and I may as well be accusing the recipient of being stupid. Nobody likes being told that what they've just spoken or written is incorrect, even if they invite correction. A typical example:

HE: "... in conclusion, A + B = C. Correct me if I'm wrong."

ME: "Okay ... A + B = D x E. See? I've done the math."

HE: "Gee. Thanks a lot ... (ya bloody wanker) ..."

ME: "Howzatt?"

HE: "Nothing ... nothing ..."[/color]


Ya, seen that.

This is a little different, but I have the habit of correcting people if they say something they think is a fact (as in, a fact that you can check for sure really quick with google), but I know it isn't and tell how it actually is. And then they get horribly offended.



Fnord
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21 Sep 2019, 8:56 am

Fireblossom wrote:
... I have the habit of correcting people if they say something they think is a fact (as in, a fact that you can check for sure really quick with google), but I know it isn't and tell how it actually is.  And then they get horribly offended.
Keep on doing it.  If learning the truth offends them, then it's their problem, not yours.  Eventually, they will get used to checking their "facts" before they open their mouths.


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magz
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21 Sep 2019, 9:00 am

Fireblossom wrote:
This is a little different, but I have the habit of correcting people if they say something they think is a fact (as in, a fact that you can check for sure really quick with google), but I know it isn't and tell how it actually is. And then they get horribly offended.

Oh, yes, the worst part you get if the "fact" you corrected supported their political views :twisted:
Even if you agree with the views, just want to correct the information :lol:


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firemonkey
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21 Sep 2019, 9:57 am

@RainbowBelle , Yes class has a bearing on things . However coming from a middle/upper middle background , with the means it can provide for intellectual stimulation, is not necessarily enough, by itself, to be successful .

I'm a prime example . Middle class upbringing. Private education . Mental health problems started at 14. First saw a pdoc just before I was 17. I am a total failure compared to most here achievements wise, whether coming from a middle class background or not .


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Fern
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24 Sep 2019, 1:49 am

magz wrote:
Fern wrote:
There is this phenomenon that has to do with being "the other" in society.
Unlike people in a position of privilege whose successes and failures are attributed to their individuality, successes and failures of "others" are often attributed to their category. I think this is at least in part to blame for the resentment some people may feel.

Illustration:
Image
Source: https://xkcd.com/385/


Yes! Exactly!


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24 Sep 2019, 2:01 am

I think fnord sounds fine. He is just direct and frank. He doesn't have much empathy because he says things direct. But if you read the words, you realize he is supportive and understanding. He just lacks tact.


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Fireblossom
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24 Sep 2019, 9:15 am

League_Girl wrote:
I think fnord sounds fine. He is just direct and frank. He doesn't have much empathy because he says things direct. But if you read the words, you realize he is supportive and understanding. He just lacks tact.


Lacking tact is one of the most known autism traits, isn't it?



Fnord
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24 Sep 2019, 9:35 am

Fireblossom wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I think fnord sounds fine. He is just direct and frank. He doesn't have much empathy because he says things direct. But if you read the words, you realize he is supportive and understanding. He just lacks tact.
Lacking tact is one of the most known autism traits, isn't it?
Yes, and I've given up on trying to develop it.


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Jakki
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24 Sep 2019, 11:49 am

Three cheers for any and all successful autistics , beauty ,like success is in the eye of the beholder :heart:


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24 Sep 2019, 11:59 am

My friend, who has Fragile-X syndrome, seems to has been ghosting me ever since I moved in with my boyfriend and got a job. She's the same age as me but has never had a paid job (even though she's been trying hard to find one and attending several interviews), and lives with her parents and hasn't got a boyfriend. I've been trying to keep our friendship going but she seems unfriendly nowadays. I understand that she probably feels insecure seeing people her age with a disability succeeding, but at the same time I want to still be friends with her.


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