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Jleger91
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24 Sep 2019, 3:51 pm

I get angry everytime I'm at work and someone walks by in the break room corridor. It's a narrow space and there's a lot of doors and people are always holding doors open for one another and I don't want to go anywhere near another person. I just want to walk off my own place and be away from everyone. But this is life and I have to find some way to live in a world full of other human beings, and it's scary. Nobody says anything mean unless I say "I can hold that door myself" and then they call me rude. What do I do?



kraftiekortie
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25 Sep 2019, 8:46 am

Just let them hold the door for you. It would save you lots of hassle.



Jleger91
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25 Sep 2019, 10:50 am

You're a veteran with more than 60k posts so I'll take your word for that.



Fireblossom
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25 Sep 2019, 11:19 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Just let them hold the door for you. It would save you lots of hassle.


And also say thank you. After that they're unlikely to bother you if you keep walking, especially if you can make yourself appear busy. Having some document along that you're reading (or pretending to read) will help with making that impression.



BTDT
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25 Sep 2019, 12:53 pm

This is what is meant by masking of pretending to be normal.
It is very stressful but often better than the alternatives.



darkwaver
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25 Sep 2019, 8:29 pm

Just want to offer sympathy, I have the door-holding issue too. I think it's some kind of PTSD - knowing I have to squeeze by someone that closely and that they will be walking right behind me afterwards gives me intense anxiety. But there's no way to stop people from doing it, and kraftiekortie is right, it would save a lot of hassle to just let them. Some day I hope to be able to train myself to be more graceful about it.



Jleger91
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27 Sep 2019, 6:43 pm

Thank you for commenting, everyone. Looks like I'll just have to accept it and let people do their common courtesy for me. It is what it is. It's up to me to keep my cool about it.



shortfatbalduglyman
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27 Sep 2019, 7:42 pm

Misanthropic


Please do not take this the wrong way but sometimes , fears are justified


Nobody is perfect

Sometimes things are not as they appear

Many precious lil "people" are not as great as they act like they are

Some defendants have been convicted of murder

Everyone "hurts" "people"

And etcetera



WalkerTR
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28 Sep 2019, 8:21 am

Did you get bullied a lot as a child?
Just wondering if that is the cause of a fear of people.

Other phobias have treatment plans that basically consist of exposure to the thing you are scared of.
I wouldn't mind getting a public service job like cashier, to see of it works.



Dimples123
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28 Sep 2019, 10:19 am

I used to hold doors for people up until High School then stopped cause I realize people didn't really like me much and probably made them awkward.



lostonearth35
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28 Sep 2019, 10:32 am

Where I live holding doors open for other people, male *and* female, is one of the reasons we have the reputation for being polite and hospitable. So that's what I do.

I know some feminazi women think holding doors open for them is sexist, and that pains me. I guess they can just carry their big heavy bags of groceries or shove their shopping carts through non-self-opening doors themselves. :roll: