I think I hate my potentially aspie ex (sorry if it's long)

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I think getting over it and letting go are very difficult
But these things help:

1.being disillusioned, seeing something that makes you think you overrated her/the relationship
So this makes you feel somewhat better about it ending
2.time
3. Trying to figure out what went wrong
4.venting
5.knowing for an absolute fact that there is no chance of getting back together

I never said it wasn’t hard to “let it go.” It is hard. I didn’t “let it go” when I was younger.

I restrained myself...but I felt like I wanted to “prove my love” to this girl who dumped me by forcing my way around her, like some guys do in the movies.

I could have gotten arrested had I did what I wanted to do. Nothing violent, by the way. I had the sense to just quit while I was ahead.

No “other person” should ever determine how happy I am.

Yeah I've made dumb mistakes by not letting it go.
I think talking about it helps,as long as when you have gotten it off your chest you don't obsess over it too long

Absolutely. I agree with that.

I am anticipating the same as an NT who has broken up (people on the spectrum are humans too). You may be misinterpreting her lack of reciprocation especially given she broke up with you. Nobody here knows whether it was really her shortcomings or your incapacity to deal with her personality/autism that she (perhaps) perceived would mean the relationship would never work. You are looking at this through your lens and not hers.

OP has absolutely no authorization that ex girlfriend is on the spectrum, he purely speculates this because she finds his behaviour unacceptable. Said girlfriend didn't tolerate him flirting with other girls and letting them drink his beer in her presence while she is holding his hand! , plus his hating her family and pressuring her into going to therapy for behaviour that bothers only him! .
He thinks that she is on the spectrum whereas I think OP hasn't a clue about appropriate social norms and behaviour and should seek help himself. If you can't defend a girl's honour and protect her feelings while you are dating, and you let some other girl flirt while girlfriend is in your presence, and don't object or put a stop to it, then you are an ass and don't deserve said girlfriend. She was smart enough to pick up on the innappropriacy of his bad behaviour and move on to where she will be respected.
It's too easy to label someone autistic just because they don't fit the emotional template that we need.
What does OP want anyway, just to vent his hate for a girl he treated very badly? Not very mature and certainly counter-productive.

This is purely a case of OP's wounded ego.

I don't think letting another girl drink your beer is as bad (although not great) as some of the other things he mentioned.

First ask yourself why he's here on WP? he mentioned that he suspected he's on the spectrum. He then discounts this because he's just awkward. He then tries to go further and say that dating this girl showed him what a typical person the spectrum really is which proved to him he's not on the spectrum.

I agree I think he's bashing this girl's reputation and looking for a excuse (under the guise of therapeutic release?) to get validation for his actions. Not very admirable,

This all seems like normal stuff. How many people haven't been hurt over a break up? How often do people remain friends over the break up?

You say you put all the work into it and she did none so it didn't seem like a healthy relationship anyway. Also go seek a therapist if this is hard for you to deal with. I am sure you wouldn't be the first and the last person who has gone to therapy after a break up.

Apologies. That wasn't the impression I formed, taking both of the OP's two topics together, but you're right: on this one, that is positively stated. Hopefully some of what I said may still have been relevant to his question.