Crippling depression and loss of hope

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What do you guys do when you feel like there is no getting better and no cure? I’ve been diagnosed with ASD, depression and anxiety. Although my psychiatrist may suspect bipolar and has me on mood stabilizers now. I’ve also started seeing a psychologist but feel like it’s all a waste of time. Psychiatry seems to take forever to reach a medication and diagnosis stand point. And I will point out my psychiatrist is the only one in the area that specializes in ASD including adults. Although there is no psychologist with that specialty. My new one is nice and all but I feel like she doesn’t understand ASD. I told her how I felt alone and how I feel like I can never find someone like me. Her response was I just need to put myself in more social situations and it will come. Haha. That’s the funniest crap. I feel like that’s saying to a depressed person just to think happy thoughts.

I feel like no one understands and there’s no hope. There’s no curing this. Psychiatry acts like they can save everyone. But guess what? You can’t cure ASD. You can’t cure decades of misdiagnoses and neglect. You can’t cure bipolar. You can’t undue decades of feeling like a failure and feeling like a loser.

My husband doesn’t understand. I feel like I can’t connect to anyone. I feel like I am a horrible mom and will be such a bad influence to my 1 year old.

I just feel like there is absolutely no hope. Sure, I may have moments of feeling better and ok for a little bit. But it will always return to this. Unfortunately I feel like this is my baseline. What do you all do in this situation?

Those on the Spectrum (ASD) experience significantly more stress than the average NT. Stress unless it is vented, will accumulate in the body and can turn into distress. These will manifest in a variety of mental problems.

The best approach is to learn tools for venting stress energy. I will recommend two books.
"In an Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine
"The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process" by David Berceli

Rather than talk about the fact there is no cure for ASD. It is more productive to attack the stress related fallout from this condition such as anxiety, depression, bipolar. Become the best mom you can for your 1 year old.

Thanks for the recommendations. Yes. It seems like no one wants to talk about autism.

Thanks. I will try.

I struggle with depression too, especially in the winter months.

As for coping when there's no hope of your condition getting better... I've been learning about existentialist psychology (which I would warn can be dangerous and make you more depressed) - but this quote has helped me:

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way." - Viktor Frankl (psychiatrist & Holocaust survivor)

And one attitude we can take, is to strive for stability, rather than improvement. Yes, we are prone to depression, but we can become heroic fighters of depression. Celebrate the small victories each day. Set our own goals, and accept that other people's goals aren't realistic for us.

I relate to your concerns about psychiatry and psychology. I'm grateful to be getting professional help - from the most qualified people in my area - but I'm not certain they truly understand me, and the progress is slow.

Hope today is a better day.

"hope"? What kind of "hope"? False hope


Please do not take this the wrong way but

Maybe there is no hope

Working with a psychiatrist means you gotta ride the medication merry-go-round, and that ride takes time. It's great to find a psychiatrist who understands autism because at least in my experience that is rare. I know the toll it takes to not have had answers for decades.

I have same feelings quite often. What I do: go for a walk every day, at least 5 km. Trying mindfulness meditation, it feels quite promising. (I'd recommend the book "The Mindful Geek: Secular Meditation for Smart Skeptics"). Repeating my mantra: do your duty, come what may. Trying not to kill myself.

Those are fairly true statements but they do not mean that you are helpless. The issue is driven by stress, an overload of stress. So much stress that your body has moved into a distressed state. You are experiencing a type of trauma. These are the signs of trauma:

* Deer in the headlight frozen expression
* Paleness and racing heartbeat
* Terrified speechless
* Disruptive behavior
* Anger, irritability, mood swings, edginess
* Hyperactive
* Poor concentration
* Demonstrating poor impulse control
* Lethargic, lack of energy
* Depressed
* Shock, denial, or disbelief
* Confusion, feeling out of control
* Anxiety and fear
* Night terrors
* Guilt, shame and self-blame
* Withdrawing from others
* Feeling sad and hopeless
* Feeling disconnected or numb, spacey
* Hyper-focus on mortality or death
* Loss of appetite or overeating
* Obsessive-compulsive behavior
* Avoidance behavior

If you can learn to reduce your stress levels, then these problems will fade away.