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Highly_Autistic
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02 Oct 2019, 12:50 pm

It has been almost 2 weeks since i started going to university. Still i have no friends. I dont believe i can socialize any longer. The last time i had a friend was 6 years ago. Aspergers, depression and social anxiety ruined my life day after day. Im desperate now. Even if i had friends i couldnt find something to talk. I dont have any passion in life. Autism is not cureable, i got it.



Ashariel
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02 Oct 2019, 4:26 pm

Sorry you're having a rough time at school. I wish I knew what to say, that could be helpful at all, but that's not my strong point (thank you, autism!) But for what it's worth, you're not alone in these feelings, and many of us have been there.



kraftiekortie
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02 Oct 2019, 4:39 pm

I would continue with my studies, get good grades.

One way to make friends is to get a reputation as one who has good grades.

People will flock to you then----for both good and bad reasons.



blazingstar
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02 Oct 2019, 7:23 pm

I'm sorry you are feeling alone. I know it's not the same, but there are people here who listen and care.

I got through college mostly by being stubborn and just getting through it.


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WalkerTR
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02 Oct 2019, 8:39 pm

2 weeks isn't long. There are always clubs in college you could join



Dimples123
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06 Oct 2019, 12:28 pm

I wasn't able to make friends in college either, I wasn't diagnosed and the work was very time consuming at times overwhelming and putting me on the edge of burnout at times.



WalkerTR
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06 Oct 2019, 1:04 pm

It took a whole year for me to make a proper friend at sixth form/college
The college organized a trip, I didn't want to be isolated just reading books the whole time so I just started talking to a bloke.
I just asked questions about the trip etc. And we ended up being good friends.



shortfatbalduglyman
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06 Oct 2019, 3:25 pm

It's been 36 years since I was born

Still zero friends

And no passion, job skills, hope, future, or $$$$


What is the problem?

:mrgreen:



Raphael F
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07 Oct 2019, 4:47 am

Highly_Autistic wrote:
Asperger's, depression and social anxiety ruined my life day after day.

Yup, you've just summed up my university career! Or, to quote the neuropsychological report which I alas didn't receive until I was into my 40s, "difficulties in social adjustment, academic identity, relationship formation and self-concept. This is apparent in Mr F's presentation and is associated with individuals who are diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder."

But two weeks is way too soon to extrapolate that the whole of the rest of your time at university will be this bleak. University is known to be a hostile environment for those of us with Asperger's, so if you already have a diagnosis, can you in any way get some help or support? Does the establishment have a welfare office, or a resident psychotherapist, or anything?

In retrospect, I can see how my time at university could have been less dismal if I'd had a diagnosis back then and if I'd had the right help. I did eventually get to know a few people that I could at least pass the time of day with, sit with in the dining hall and in lectures etc. They were not necessarily the close friends I craved, but I wasn't actually in solitary confinement; some people must have liked me or seen something in me, because after I'd dropped out for the second time and tried to kill myself, when I went back again a secret working party was formed to set me up with an amazing girl, and the result was for six months I actually had a girlfriend, so I kind of had honorary membership of her social circle for a while.

DO NOT ASSUME, FROM THIS, THAT ATTEMPTING SUICIDE WILL INSPIRE PEOPLE TO FIND YOU A GIRLFRIEND. That was a happy coincidence, not a direct response! But it just goes to show you can't tell what's round the corner. Had I known something like that could ever happen to me, I wouldn't have dropped out and I wouldn't have tried to kill myself.

It is possible to actually actively plough your own time and your own energy into being unhappy. I spent most of my time at university doing that, but it wasn't necessary.

Are you interested in your course? Can you focus on that as your reason for being there, and meanwhile accept that your Asperger's may make your social life more limited than other people's yet doesn't actually condemn you to total solitude forever? You may be slower to find your feet and make acquaintances than all the NT students who are so conspicuously having the time of their lives all around you, but that doesn't mean you won't: you happen to have a condition that makes it harder, yes, but not completely impossible.

In the absence of an A.S.D. diagnosis the university doctor decided Prozac would solve all my problems. This was about as effective as throwing a pint of milk at the Towering Inferno. If your Asperger's has been diagnosed then it ought to be obvious to the university authorities and the university doctor that you may need some help, especially now when you're trying to get the hang of everything.


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Jakki
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17 Oct 2019, 2:08 am

Kinda loss interest in going out of my way to make friends .. now having given up , feel better but , trouble not hating people . Have several criminals in the block . Having s free loading appearing successful . Sure they have their issues , but force themselves into my life .. stalking , just short of direct violence against me. It gets directed to the house i live in, so am trying to fix things alot ,,
But only ones allowed to do things here seem to be more of the same people . Police say , if we do not see it , it did not happen . Maybe a report ? Its maddening , pretty scared ,if one of these ganster types . Get more brazen... house has been burglarized my vehicles too . This is a very nice property and family built the house. Am extra angry with police. But have to smile at them.. AAAUGH....


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KanyeWestFan
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19 Oct 2019, 12:45 am

I feel the same way as you do and it sucks. Aspergers is a b***h just like Life



Jakki
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19 Oct 2019, 3:00 am

KanyeWestFan wrote:
I feel the same way as you do and it sucks. Aspergers is a b***h just like Life



Thanks just btw


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