If you work : Are you different at home than at work?

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harry12345
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06 Oct 2019, 3:02 pm

Last year I left my job because the atmosphere had become hostile to me. I needed to get away from the place. So in the meantime I've kept busy with various projects at home.

Recently I been starting to look for a job and yesterday it dawned on me that I have not been the person I was at work the whole time since I've left work.

At home I am one personality and at work I was another personality. I don't now know if I can (or want to) re-find that other personality.

That could just be as hard as actually finding a new job.



blazingstar
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06 Oct 2019, 3:21 pm

I think you have identified a critical question. I began consciously try to merge my work personality with "who I am" about 20 years ago. I have to be different at work, in that I have to be professional, the work is focused on the needs of others and not my own, etc. But I am working at something that is consistent with my life philosophy. It is a process, not a light switch type of change. You might want to look for working situations in which you can be more yourself.


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Magna
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06 Oct 2019, 3:23 pm

100%, yes to your topic question.



SplendidSnail
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06 Oct 2019, 3:25 pm

I'd say most of us are many different people...it's what Masking is about.

One thing I find kind of hard is when I meet people in a situation where I didn't expect them, particularly if I'm with other people already. Often, the two different "masks" that I've created (either intentionally or unintentionally) aren't totally compatible, so it puts me in an awkward position.


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James_Ladrang
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07 Oct 2019, 12:56 pm

All people have this in common: we are all different.
In my case, location makes a huge difference as to how I act. At work, where most people I work with know about my autism, I play to the strengths that come from being on the spectrum and we all get on very well. At home, priorities don't necessarily match in the same way, and when I'm tired at the end of the day, I don't cope very well. On holiday, the daily stresses are removed, so if plans work out I can eventually relax since when I plan changes I'm OK with them - it's imposed changes that upset me.



aquafelix
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08 Oct 2019, 3:33 am

I tend to massively over function at work and under-function everywhere else in my life, including at home.



kraftiekortie
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08 Oct 2019, 7:55 pm

I'm a harder worker at "work" than I am at "home."

At "home," I'm pretty much a lazy bum :P



SharonB
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08 Oct 2019, 10:46 pm

In my late 40s I am need of a new job (as you were) and un-masking some (as you are considering perhaps). My ASD Coach is adamant I will find a workplace that accepts my more authentic self. It's going to take more effort, but I'm going with the idea that it will be worth it.

Analogy: "Adults" are supposed to behave in the range of 40-60. In my current workplace I am taking my behavior from a stressed 35-65 to more relaxed 30-70 but hope to find a place that I can more comfortably be 25-75. At home my range is 15-85, which might be more comfortable at 20-80... :D



CalicoMischief
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11 Oct 2019, 11:55 am

harry12345 wrote:
Last year I left my job because the atmosphere had become hostile to me. I needed to get away from the place. So in the meantime I've kept busy with various projects at home.

Recently I been starting to look for a job and yesterday it dawned on me that I have not been the person I was at work the whole time since I've left work.

At home I am one personality and at work I was another personality. I don't now know if I can (or want to) re-find that other personality.

That could just be as hard as actually finding a new job.


I am pretty much the same quiet person I am at work, at home. I don't feel.accepted at home either.