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AprilR
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08 Oct 2019, 3:42 pm

So this might be really stupid but..
I live alone and in my country this is not common for women. Normally everyone stays with their family until they marry. But i wanted to become more independent so i wanted to leave my parents house.
And the issue is, i've just started working at a new job and i didn't tell this guy at work i live alone. (since my friend told me before not to tell guys this just in case) well, turns out this guy and i get on really well but he thinks (or assumes) i live with my parents.
We have become good friends ina few days though and i feel like keeping this info from him is rude and might offend him.
I have no idea how to bring it up though and i'm obsessing over it. I really don't want to make him think i thought he was a pervert or something. I just don't feel comfortable sharing this information with anyone i just met. Since it's not common in my country and some people were surprised. It also kind of makes people think you're well off and i didn't want to come off as that. But i just don't know what to do now. I really don't want to lose this friendship.



886
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09 Oct 2019, 9:59 pm

I live alone too, and my go to's are usually one of these two:

I'd get roommates, but there's too many risks involved and it's just easier to live by myself.

I wish I could own a dog, but when I'm at work all day I don't want him to be home alone and potentially chewing up the couch.

Both, are actually factual statements, and indirectly hint at the fact that I own my own place.


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Lely
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10 Oct 2019, 8:18 am

AprilR wrote:
, turns out this guy and i get on really well but he thinks (or assumes) i live with my parents.
We have become good friends ina few days though and i feel like keeping this info from him is rude and might offend him.
I have no idea how to bring it up though and i'm obsessing over it.

Has he mentioned anything that would imply he thinks you live with your parents?
If you speak about sth you do in the evening make sure you hint you are doing it alone e.g. making food alone for yourself (presuming in your country the whole household would otherwise eat together, idk though), maybe he will then ask about it, then you can tell him?

I wouldn't worry that he thinks you thought he is a pervert. You only know him since recently and he doesn't have to know everything immediately. And I doubt it would bother him when you tell him or that it would destroy the friendship.

In which country do you live?



kraftiekortie
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10 Oct 2019, 8:51 am

It's none of his business, really....until those two strike up a friendship.

She doesn't have to TELL the guy she lives with her parents. She doesn't have to TELL the guy she lives alone.



AprilR
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10 Oct 2019, 12:48 pm

Thanks guys, the issue is i feel like we're already friends. We've hung out a few times already and had a great time. So i feel like we're already close and keeping this info from him when he sometimes mentions he lives alone for example is rude.

Btw i live in turkey and everyone really assumes i live with my parents its very common here.
Also it's not even been two weeks since i started this job so i think i'm privy to some privacy.



Raphael F
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10 Oct 2019, 12:59 pm

AprilR wrote:
I really don't want to lose this friendship.
If the friendship is worth anything, and if the culture in your country is as you describe, then hopefully (a) he will appreciate why you didn't tell him sooner, and (b) he will understand your awkwardness about disabusing him of his natural but erroneous assumption, and (c) hopefully you can both laugh about it and the whole fleeting misunderstanding will rapidly disappear into the ancient past.


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