Babies

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A good friend of mine has had two sons in 2 years. I feel a lot of love for the first born but absolutely cannot raise any enthusiasm for the 2nd son. The WHOLE of her life (and now my life too) is babies babies and babies and while I dont mind babies, I dont want to be 'bothered' by them either. I have struggled with this for a while now. She is a good friend, though I am not sure how well she understands aspies and I struggle to explain myself to her, I'm hopeless at explaining things/myself. I dont want to not see her, or her kids (I DO understand how much kids take over people's lives) but am completely disinterested in the youngest son and I fear it's becoming noticeable. I truly dont want to lose her as a friend but it's too much for me to handle.
Any advice? Anyone feel the same?

thankxs Aisling

I'd give her some space, and just hold out. Babies aren't babies for very long.

What exactly is "wrong" with the second baby? Why do you not like the baby?

I'm not asking as a criticism----more out of curiosity.

Babies become children somewhere between 2 and 3 years of age, usually.

I don't 'dislike' the baby and never said so. I cannot raise the enthusiasm just because she's had another kid and the pressure is there to do so.

Children aged 2, 3 need their parents' attention as much as infants. As do those who are 4, 5 and 6.

I feel like I am having to defend myself here.

So you're worried and feeling quilty because you're not as excited and happy for your friend and her second baby than you were for the first? I'd say that's normal; new things can be very exciting, and while babies aren't "things", the same applies to them. Parents are usually very happy about the second kid too, but for others it's not such a special case anymore when there already is one.

It's also common that friends who have kids and friends who don't drift apart a little; I wouldn't call it an aspie thing. You can still hang out, though it's likely that the kids will often be there too. When they're a bit older, you might actually have some alone time together, too. Try not to stress too much about the situation and enjoy your company with your friend when you can. If you're able to, try to subtly direct the conversation to something else than the babies from time to time. Not always, but sometimes.

You don't have to defend yourself. You did nothing wrong. I was only curious.

I don't like having to defend myself, either. I know how you feel.

No one should be "forced" to feel enthusiasm for something which they don't feel enthusiastic about.