Roommate advice would be quite nice.

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Hello my Aspie brethren (and sistren), I have a question about OCD and Autism colliding.

I don't have OCD but my roommate does. He stays up really late at night on his phone (which is fine) sleeps until very late in the morning like 11 AM, and here's where we've been getting into collision.

1. I write (because I am a novelist and trying to get stuff done) and he hates the sound of the typewriter. OK, sensory sensitivity. I get that. But he lies in there and waits until I'm on a roll and then interrupts by complaining about the noise driving him crazy. He could go downstairs to the deserted second floor of the house, chill on some awesome couches down there, and let me get work done, but he lies in bed on his phone and complains.
2. He walks in halfway through the 2nd movement of Beethoven's Sixth and requests I turn down the record player. I can't turn it down (it's an old windup one with no sound controls on it) and it doesn't play super loud. I have quiet needles for it (Those are a thing, really) and am more than happy not to blast classical all the time. However, I play it so I can enjoy that as I write. He wakes up to Carrie Underwood music, blasted Dolly Parton on his tinny cellphone speakers all day (he has AirPods but they may have been on the charger. I don't know) and it's my music he complains about.
3. He is OCD-rude about me doing anything that involves a little dust but left many of his things in almost a "neckbeard nest" on his side of the room. (No anime breasts or Mountain Dew bottles of pee. Just Starbucks cups and other empty bottles.)
4. He's mad that I lock my desk now, after he read something on my typewriter and decided to comment about it--my bank papers were on the desk, along with a lot of other things, but he's up there reading out of my and is mad that I don't trust him and claims I am acting extreme for not trusting him. Extreme. Whatever that means.
5. He plays on his phone at night (the blue light bothers me. I can't sleep with iron-framed glasses on--my usual blue light remedy--but he's got to stay on that thing until midnight, giving the occasional chuckle at memes or whatever, and then acts like I'm an idiot for trying to go to sleep at 11:30.

I admit I'm a little tough to live with but I stay on my end of the room. However, I just want to be able to use my own desk. It's like my studio--my pirate's cove--and where I work. My productivity declines if I have to haul my typewriter downstairs (it's heavy but I've been using a 6-pound Corona Model 3 lately that is very slow...painfully slow compared to my big Remington 12.

He's messing up my work time. According to him, I'm messing up his relaxation time. Should I keep trying to accommodate (which is never enough for him) or should I just draw the line?

Please ask any questions you might have. Fire away, Aspernauts. I need some advice because this is making me nuts.

Why is he going in your desk? Are silent typewriters a thing or can you do it on a laptop/desktop? (you can play music with headphones that way without bothering him) Depending on what kind of phone it is, they have blue light filters as a feature on the phone.

When you say roommate, do you mean that you share your actual bedroom?

Do either of you use earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones?

Dimples123:

1) He's reading stuff off the top of the desk, as he says, "because it's right there!" I have placed everything in the desk under lock and key and is he ever mad! You know, when he says he doesn't care I locked the desk and gets mad, I say that's exactly like what someone would say when prying into the papers and the desk is staying locked.

2.) During the 1930s a "Noiseless" typewriter was produced by Remington and then under license by Underwood. They are quite expensive today and were I to find one it would need to be completely rebuilt. My current machines are a 1927 Remington desktop and a 1922 Corona folding portable and both of them have been rebuilt at great labor and expense.

2a) My music library is on 78rpm records and unfortunately there is no headphone jack (nor any electric parts at all!) on my Columbia Model 202. YouTube or Apple Music are not options. I'm not going to be listening to bass-boosted tinny modern recordings on cheap earbuds when I have nice copies of music I really do enjoy, and an extremely high quality turntable (for its time.)

3. His phone is an Apple and he claims to have the backlight on its lowest setting. Unfortunately that doesn't really work, and it wouldn't be entirely so annoying...if I had my glasses on. But I can't sleep like that without the nightly risk of smashing them.

IsabellaLinton:

1) Yes, we do share a bedroom. It is not large but it is larger than the 12x10 closet I grew up in, and has a walk-in closet and running water.

2) They're not earplugs but he uses AirPods to listen to music. I don't want to have to buy him noise canceling headphones when he has the whole downstairs open.


I'm not trying to be rude with bullet points but hopefully they can clarify this situation.

Waste more money on audio gear, that always makes me feel great.

I like digital hifi but it's all about the headphones regardless of media. You can find the right turntable,maybe some Grado sr-80s would be the right way to go.

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Nah the bullet points help out, so he gets peeved that you lock up your work but says he doesn't care?

Yes. He read some of it, I decided he was untrustworthy and locked up all paperwork on the desk, and he's been mad since.

He's mad at a two-sentence passing resemblance of a very minor character--namely, leaving cups scattered everywhere. See the part about neckbeard nests in the original post. So he "requests" I change the book to suit him and gets mad that everything is now locked away. Really, if you don't want to end up unfavorably remembered in a work of fiction, don't pester the guy doing the writing!

If I were you, I’d have a nice long talk with your landlord, detailing what you just written. Otherwise, I’d be looking for different living spaces.

I lived with bad roommates it was a learning experience before I was diagnosed. Only thing I can say is that these sort of things are either dealt with compromise or someone leaves the place for good.

Well...unusual.

I'm really trying to not get thrown out of the place. Granted, my lifestyle is a bit odd (1900s for the win) but then again leaving trash all over the place and lying in bed at midday is also odd. And reading out of my papers is the last straw.

Not sure where it's going.

Another thing I learned is that people get very angry over writing instead of talking. He must have taken it as a passive aggressive note instead of you venting through your writing?

Why are you using a typewriter? I will send you a laptop if money is the problem. I have several. The older ones are a bit slow, but it can't be as bad as typing. But even laptop keyboards have a bit of a noise when typing.

I think this guy is inconsiderate and is not going to change. Of course you want to write where you feel comfortable. There is no other way to write. I can't write until I go someplace where I am alone. I'd be looking for a new roommate.

Just my 2c

Some people like typewriters because they are "retro," "classic."

When I started working, the epitome of "high tech" was the IBM Selectric electric (not electronic) typewriter. I used to love using those things.

Yes, I got one of those as a graduation present. A very long time ago. I also used a manual typewriter for a book because I was writing in the woods with no electricity. But I wouldn't use one anymore. Editing is just so much easier with word processing.

I learned, first, on my mother's electric typewriter (forgot the brand)----back about 1972.

In junior high, though, "typing class" used manual Olivettis and Royals. The keys used to get stuck! The Royals were slightly better.

Bluntness alert:

1. I am familiar enough with you to know where you're coming from, but - you're using a computer (phone?) to post here, in your circumstances you'd be better off to use it while writing too - if you don't have one, take up the lovely blazingstar on her offer.

2. I know it sucks, but once again - listen to music on your computer (phone?) and use headphones.

3. Use coasters.

4. See point one - password-protected computer.

5. Get an eye-mask and earplugs.

Look, I know all this sucks - I'm merely being pragmatical. When you live with someone else, especially sharing the same bedroom, your freedom/options will be limited in significant ways. Turning the whole thing into a fight or power struggle will only make it worse - you either adapt to some extent or you work your way into being able to live by yourself, there's no way around it. (I'm telling you this as someone who learned to type on a typewriter I still have and use, have and use an old record player and am generally a nostalgic in more than one way).