What aspects of social interaction are especially tiring?

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As a teenager at school I was picked on more by kids I didn't know. In a way I was actually less anxious if I was picked on by kids I DID know (although still got upset). So as an adult I still feel worse if I'm picked on or judged by strangers. Friends, family, colleagues, etc, are more aware of what's going on inside of you, even if some don't understand or pick on you for being different. But strangers just take one look at you and jump to conclusions, and when I'm in a crowded area I feel like 1,000 people are all thinking bad about me: "oh that girl looks a bit shy, but she looks normal otherwise and is not really standing out, but let's just stare at her anyway and make her feel self-conscious because she shouldn't look shy or nervous or anything, she should just look the way I want her to look, I can't deal with this, oh dear this girl who I'll never see again is really making my life a misery by looking shy".

(I say "shy" because I suppose those are the sort of vibes I give off, I don't know).

Aye, superficial articles are not the source of the problem.
Humans are social animals, and for most, a bit of teasing is all that is needed to enforce group solidarity. There is a sub-group of NTs who are quite dedicated to peer-group maintenance, and either unable or unwilling to understand that there are other ways to be human. Perhaps we should start by thanking them for trying to help.

Dear_one I dont quite understand what you wrote in the last sentence.

Teasing is an invitation to give up the eccentricity and enjoy the brotherhood of a group. It is best to turn down the invitation with grace. When long hair on men was still seen as effeminate, but I found that it helped in meeting others who valued eccentricity, I was once hassled by some construction workers about 3 floors up. I just dug into my pocket, came up with a dime, and happily flipped it away over my shoulder in the sunshine. They cheered.

Again, sorry but I don't understand still. Why did they cheer?

Presumably, they thought that I'd won the exchange, by expanding the range of disagreement into the need to work all day and proving my point with style and good humour.

Maybe ppl were sharper, quicker n more nuanced thinkers back then. I still don't understand how that would be their interpretation nor how you came up with the idea. .
Actually it's true that older generations are overall sharper n better at thinking, from what I've seen.


Thanks fr trying to explain though

Trying to figure out if people genuinely like me or not and trying to figure out if people are joking or being actually mean to me.

I just read this entire thread and I can relate to every post and they are all so helpful by just knowing others are struggling like me with interaction. I find every aspect tiring in my 50's. At younger ages I was better at it or maybe willing to try harder.

Yeah always.

The principal called me in for a second meeting because he thought I misinterpreted his intent. At least I spoke up. Bfore I wd stay quiet and let it 'eat away' at me.



I still think being paranoid about other people's intent is better than exposing yourself n trusting n being in dangerous situations because of they then exploit that or misunderstand you.

If we lived in an ideal Aspie-like world it would be fine but it's not an ideal world. Ppl with ASD are straightforward and not evil usually.