A discussion with my kid about the new dangers

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I had a discussion with my kid about the new dangers involved in a new place, and a different concept of what is American.

I told my kid this...

This is a new place, we are in Fort Washington, Pennsylvania.
This is generally successful America.
This is Less violent America.

But it is not benevolent America.

Because this place is a better place to raise children like you...
This place is also hazardous to children, like you...
In other ways..


There are people here, who dress like society thinks they should...
Who look like society looks.
Who act like society wants them to act...

They do this because they want to blend in.

They're so not suspicious, that it's suspicious in and of itself..

And their goal, is to hurt kids.

Here's the rules.


1. Do not get into people's cars.
2. Do not go into people's houses.
3. You're not allowed to use the internet.
4. You can have a cellphone, but no phone service...
911 is the only number that you're allowed to call.

5. Do not accept any gifts from anybody.
No money, no candy, no toys.. No food....
No games, No clothes, no shoes...nothing..
No gifts.

Because the they might be lures and traps.

6. The front yard and the back yard only..
No street, no driveway, no down the street..
Nowhere.
You are only allowed in the front and back yard.

7. If you ever, are approached and talked to by any adult that you don't know...
Or who I did not send you to...

Call 911 immediately.

If you ever are offered gifts by an adult...

Call 911 immediately.

If you ever, ever... Are touched wrong by any adult or anybody..

Call 911 immediately.

If you are ever afraid...
Call 911 immediately.

I see helicopter parents have now hovered over to Wrong Planet, bringing the stranger danger epidemic with them.

Children are much more likely to be hurt, molested, kidnapped or killed by their own family members than by people they don't know.

The OP may have recently joined the ranks of "Those Whose Names Shall Not Be Mentioned", so I wouldn't put any stock in whatever he has to say.

The wrong touching thing should be obvious for any parent, the only other one I actually taught my kids is to not accept gifts without our agreement. I'm not afraid of lures and traps but I know from experience how expensive free things can get (in the long run).

Something about the actual post makes me wonder if it wasn't sarcasm/parody.