Oh my.......

Post Reply New Topic

Just a week ago, my husband fell down twice, so they transfered him to a bigger hospital out of town and did a neck fusion surgery.

Now I barely got there to be there during the surgery, but I had to go back home. Of course I have no transportation, and there was a snowstorm here making the roads bad.

Now he is having a post surgical complication... The hospital says it's a little weakness in his right arm called C5 palsy that will go away and he still has most of the functioning of his arm, but my husband is claiming he can't lift up his arm or do hardly anything with it when talking to me...

Telling this to a couple family members, his niece yelled at me for not being at the hospital with him now, that I had no excuses. My aunt thinks the hospital is trying to cover their butts in case of a lawsuit. My uncle thinks the hospital is telling the truth, that my husband is exaggerating how bad his symptom is and that this is typical for my husband...

I got so upset I ended up in ER myself, but was released when I calmed down... I really, really don't know what to believe

Families can get really stupid at the worst of times.

Families have to stick together at these times, instead of just placing blame all the time.

That sounds quite probable to me.
I don't get where all that "be in the hospital with them" originated.
I wasn't in the hospital when my husband had his surgery. I normally took care of the kids and went to work. I trusted the guys at the hospital and they did their job well.
If the hospital was close or the transportation was easy, and you had free time anyway - then of course, a visit is the right thing to do. But the world doesn't stop and things need to be done.

The hospital is not close unfortunately...

What happened is the drain from his surgery clogged causing the palsy when fluid built up, his arm is improving but not 100 percent. They expect it to get better.... I'm just confused about the degree of his impairment... But directly from the nurse that is what happened, I'm not sure if it was permanent a clogged drain would be a lawsuit or not...

I have no idea how about lawsuits but it it's only the fluid then it should improve soon without much intervention. It just needs watching in case of inflammation.
I'm afraid your husband's attitude may make things harder, he seems likely to exaggerate his state and try to make of it as much as possible.

He's in a rehab hospital now. But not one nearby so all I can do is facetime him. But he still can't use his right hand for anything, he's not faking anything btw. They are trying, but I'm kinda devestated his arm might not get better. Someone at the rehab hospital told him to sue if it didn't, but idk.

But other than that other stuff is recovering and soon he should be home again.

It’s nice that you can FaceTime him!

Why are you still with him again?

It's complicated... We've been getting along much better for quite awhile now and I'm realizing now that he's gone that I miss him around.

But at the same time I am missing some things, I had a phone interview today and eventually I said no, I can't, because the job would involve moving and because of his complex medical needs I was told from now on he needs 24/7 care. It wasn't a permanent job anyway, a 10 month job only, but there are a couple of jobs I applied for before his surgery that I might still get an interview for, government park guide jobs that I got a referral for because I applied to ones under a disability non-competitive hiring path, but those jobs would of course require moving and I don't know about that.

I'm trying to also get a job at the library that opened up in my town, that I meet most of the qualifications for (they said Spanish speaking preferred but my Spanish skills are intermediate at best). But who knows.

He'll get used to it, and it's not much of a problem for most daily activities.

Median nerve palsy here, and I can do hard work with my good hand without losing much outside of it all taking a little longer. The glorified spatula hand can still support things too.