50/50 Reactions: Creepy/Weird vs. A Nice Person

Post Reply New Topic

I've dealt with people who either thought of me as nice or creepy, I'll explain:

Before college (K-12), I struggled with staring at girls (when I was younger), not being able to connect with my classmates, along with missed social cues. This lead to me being judged from my behaviors, even though I've improved ever since then.

Fast forward to college, even though I found some people that I eventually got along with, I've been falsely labeled as a creep, weirdo, etc. (sometimes for no apparent reason)

When I attend college parties, I normally talk to people, only if I recognize them. If I start a conversation with someone new, then they'll either accept my invite or "excuse themselves to the bathroom" after talking to me for a few minutes, if you get what I'm saying.

I usually act calm & cool at college parties, along with not bringing too much attention towards myself. I also don't initiate conversations out of the blue, unless if I'm standing next to someone or waiting in the bathroom line. I basically just talk to people only if I feel like it. Yet, I still somehow get judged for little to no reason at all, even though I never act "inappropriate" towards anyone. It's probably a mix of my past mistakes, along with some of my high school alumni at my college.

In simpler terms, people react differently in certain situations, especially under the influence of drugs/alcohol. What may not seem like a big deal to me may be for them, vice versa.

Hang out with the people who like you and not with the people you don't?
If you're not doing anything wrong, that seems like the best strategy. And I bet your social skills will get better and better with practice if you pay attention.

From my perspective, many NTs quickly learn to read people and they do this by picking up clues by looking in their eyes. The eyes, eyelids, eyebrows and orbicularis oculi muscle play a major role in projecting emotions and the degree of emotions. But Aspies are not good at projecting these signals because we rarely look at people's eyes.

It seems like NTs are always misinterpreting Aspies intentions. They look us in the eyes and imagine our thoughts. Lately I have begun wearing blue tinted mirrored glasses. By wearing mirrored glasses I deprive them of this tool of assessing my intentions. Because these glasses only have a tint on the mirror finish, they are not true sunglasses and as a result, I can also wear them indoors.

I choose the color blue because that color projects: peaceful, tranquil and symbolizes loyalty. Blue is reliable and responsible. It exhibits inner security and confidence.

I am fairly pleased with the results. People treat me more friendly. I even have total strangers come up to me and begin conversations.

I agree that people (in general) tend to be judgmental, yet I've been in situations where I've gotten along with people and they're still friends with me to this day. Some of my friends don't even know that I'm on the spectrum and I'm still cool with them.

However, in social settings at parties, bars, and clubs, some people tend to judge others because we usually don't know everyone at these public places, which means people have to make assumptions about everyone after meeting new people (while most people are under the influence of alcohol)

During my time at college parties (which were open to all students) students always asked each other "who do you know here?" or "what's your name?" along with recognizing a classmate or two because some people are curious when it comes to meeting new people, which explains your point of NT's reading people and how we interact with people.

Furthermore, I continue to plan on enjoying my social life (without worrying about being judged) by going out with my friends, since we enjoy going out to bars and taverns once in awhile (mostly during special occasions like birthdays, Halloween, and New Years Eve)

Are you in college at age 25?

There is a huge difference between how a 19 year old college student views another 19 year old college student who is weird and how the same student views a weird college student who has aged out of the peer class. To a 19 year old, the 25 year old is from a complete other generation and is (or should be) an adult. Why are you even hanging around me anyway? The weirdness becomes creepiness.

I graduated a few years ago, but maybe it had to do with how I interacted with others during that time:

At parties, I drank (but never went too far, only until I felt buzzed/tipsy to my liking) danced a little, mingled around the party, and watched the pong game. I only talked to people if I felt like initiating a conversation with someone. I also knew some friends/acquaintances at these parties (since these parties were open for all students)

However, even though I met several acquaintances at these parties, it was easier for me to make some "real" friendships/connections over the course of my college career.

Overall, looking back on my college career, I wish I was more social and less hesitant when it came to introducing myself to new people, since I struggled with confidence and a slight fear of rejection, even though meeting new people is another part of life and people either accept or reject you.

On an extra note, college made me grow more as a person and learn independence by living in a dorm with roommates. The social aspect also helped my overall skills and was beneficial towards my personal growth as a person.

These days there are plenty of older college students, especially at state colleges. It's not at all unusual for people past their early twenties to be attending college.

A lot of it has to do with your body language next to reading others body language.

For example, I have read that people socialize by having open body language. They also copy each other’s body language as well.

You can learn about body language and socialization by doing a search on the internet.

It is not unusual, no, of course it is not. That's not the point, is it?

A 19 year old is going to view a 25 year old college student who has aged out of the peer class differently. It is the case. Older college students are more welcome in groups with other older college students.