Wife hates my special interest (AS-AS relationship)

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So, my wife is diagnosed with Aspergers, as am I. About a week or so ago, my wife introduced to me the concept of hacking and how it would be fun to give it a spin. So, I did..... and I gotta say, Im hooked.

Mind you, I haven't hacked anybody yet. But the logic puzzles and challenges and sheer knowledge of how things work that comes with learning to hack, it's blowing my mind. My hacking journey has introduced me to Python, an awesome programming language and the Linux system which is really cool to me. And the way networks and internet works- it's fascinating!

So, I've gotten quite enveloped in it and am spending copious amounts of time researching it. It has became a full blown special interest.... this has resulted in some issues. My wife now hates the concept of hacking because she thinks I do not pay her enough attention anymore.

Now here's the issue- she is diagnosed with Asperger's, but sometimes I question it. She has, in my eyes, an excessive need for attention from other people, which is not typical to aspies. When I used to hang out with friends that were aspies we would just coexist while doing our special interest stuff and occasionally talk and it was nice. But when I pursue interests with my wife she gets angry and sometimes even vengeful and manipulative (like raising as much hell as she can until I am forced to address her crazy behavior). She has shown to lie, be manipulative, lack empathy, and have SEVERE histrionic or BPD tendencies.

And as for me, I can be a little narcissistic (eg. ego, pride, anger issues, bad reactions to criticism, selfishness). But I know a lot of that is due to my ASD and falls in line with it. But her, Im not sure. I feel that she should not be upset when I pursue something I love, it's like she wants her and only her to occupy all of my mind all the time.

What do you think? Am I selfish and cold? Should I make a compromise? Or is she being overly greedy for attention and unreasonable? It's like we both have a mutual lack of understanding.

Somebody help.

What do you think? A

Does this special interest make money?

Is your job related it?

It's the same with my girlfriend. She doesn't share many of my interests and sometimes I like to be alone for long stretches of time. I can understand why she views me being an absent boyfriend as unfair to her. Maybe us introverts should just stay single.

Control yourself.

I've been a device hacker for 19 years. I don't exploit anyone. It's pretty simple dude.

It's not about who you hack.

Hey there. I used to feel ignored by my aspie boyfriend, but now we are both working on a similar interest, which has helped us immensely. He has a few websites, which are his livelihoods; and I have started a website on mental health, which is a hobby. We are perfectly content working side by side on the couch- in silence. Maybe you and your gf could find a common interest to share.