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Kenjuudo
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Joined: 7 Mar 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,552
Location: Norway

21 Nov 2019, 5:32 pm

I was bullied to the point of believing the bullies were right in bullying me. And by bullies, I mean everybody. And it didn't seem to be contained to my school years or even what country I was currently in. Everybody everywhere seemed to agree on one thing: I was to be ousted out of whatever socializing endeavour I had snuck or bustled into.

The vast preponderance of experiences I've gathered from all kinds of social interactions throughout my life has the feeling of me generally being unwanted whereever I go left imprinted on my emotional expectations toward any future encounters. Potential and realized both. And these feelings don't seem to go away, even if I understand that they are irrational on an intellectual level. Needless to say I'm quite familiar with depressions and suicidal thoughts, though this is not what I'm going to discuss here in this post.

I'm fond of dancing and moving to music and after years of going to clubs and teaching myself interactionweak confidence by ignoring what anybody thinks about my dance moves, I began to notice the development of something completely unexpected and utterly inexplicable; women (in particular) tended to flock around my general position. This happened again and again and became one of the surest predictions I could make when going out, besides the implicit "other people will probably be there".

However, with a cause of women clumping together around me, something less appealing effected as a response; men began an intimidation game with the obvious goal of eliminating me; their immediate and perhaps only competition. The method they most typically employed is the infamous―but effective―back-against-and-push-harassment which works because it leaves no opening for communication, such that any inadvertence leading to physical contact becomes the responsibility of the victim, thus leaving a disinclined introvert forced to back away.

With time and practice I learned to counter such attacks by dancing a few circles around them complete with appropriately disproportionate eye contact and a smile upon completion by shifting my position to let them have the space they seemed to be claiming, though however reprehensibly―even if I knew their actual objective was securing exclusive access to females (indefinition as intended). I just wanted to dance and nobody could stop me. Not by way of inarticulate caveman at any rate.

―What do you want? Come talk to me about your retarded request or go f**k yourself and leave me the hell alone! Thanks.

Yeah, I never actually said that.

Mission "ignoring people" accomplished. Sounds well and good, huh? Well, little did I know that I had been consummating my worst fears fortuitously. You see, the kinds of interactions that I had finally learned to ignore was something that nobody else ignored. People became suspicious about me being the as*hole I always supposed they considered me to be. When you achieve this level of strangeness people are going to start talking and soon the entire club knew who the arrogant bastard was who considered everybody else to be air. As were he something better or something.

What happened? Well, all the women danced around me and all the men were sitting in the periphery being bored and mumbling to each other. Then out of nowhere, the club had me thrown out for some reason. It appears, since just about all the men were bored to death and prone to leave, it'll be less of a sacrifice to bounce the root of their headache; me. The practice seemed to be universal across clubs, but as a last resort in any case. For some reason I tend to agree with the policy. It makes perfect sense economically and it's easier than to teach a bunch of monkeys how to treat women as human beings as opposed to claimable property.

So what can be done to deal with this s**t?

Be social. (Fine, I hear your laughter all the way over here...)

Randomly talk to people. Preferably of the troublesome group. Ask stuff like:

―Nice shoes. Where did you get them?

Even if you couldn't care less about shoes or whatever else the person in question is wearing.

Then, independent on their response, say:

―Cool.

And move on. Now, another person feels "noticed" and you've stalled the rumor dispensary just a little bit.

You can thank me later. 8O


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When superficiality reigns your reality, you are already lost in the sea of normality.