Page 4 of 5 [ 62 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,468
Location: my own little world

09 Dec 2019, 1:38 pm

I understand what you mean now. Maybe you could say that you have very mild Autism and are not affected severely.

How does your brother deny his functioning level to get more help and attention?


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,385
Location: Maidstone, UK

09 Dec 2019, 2:33 pm

Actually I don't think it's right for me to talk about people I love online so I will send you a PM if that's OK.


_________________
Female
Aged 29
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,468
Location: my own little world

09 Dec 2019, 2:55 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Actually I don't think it's right for me to talk about people I love online so I will send you a PM if that's OK.
Good idea. And of course, I won't share anything from a pm. I will be offline for awhile so I might not be able to respond until tomorrow.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 20,779
Location: Long Island, New York

09 Dec 2019, 8:26 pm

skibum wrote:
Rainbow_Belle wrote:
It is a cruel sick joke to claim that Aspergers is a mild form of Autism implying it is less of a disability. Having average IQ or high IQ does not change the fact that people with Aspergers are just as unemployable and socially disadvantaged as people with low functioning Autism. There is more support and funding for low functioning Autism than there is high functioning people with Aspergers. When you have Aspergers you are on your own to suffer in your own misery and no support to find employment. Still got Aspergers and still unemployed 10+ years since graduating with a worthless college degree. I wish I had low functioning Autism and more access to support.
I totally relate. I am so glad that I was diagnosed in 2014 and not before the DSM took Asperger's out. I can't tell you how infuriating it is to have people say to me, "You JUST have Asperger's," as if I have no challenges. Well, I don't have to tell you Belle, that's preaching to the choir. I am sure you have to deal with the same thing. If people had any idea what my challenges actually are, they would be ashamed to say what they say. People who really know me are amazed that I am even able to stay alive.

If you say you have Aspergers people think you have mild autism or not real autism. Traditionally if you said you have Autism people are shocked you can get a coherent sentence out. Lately if you say you are autistic some people think you are a saint with superpowers. That is why I very rarely use the "A-Words" to describe myself. I usually use euphemisms. I say I am introverted, prefer my own company, am different, individualist etc. I call it disclosing traits.

Being mostly in the closet sucks.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman


Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 09 Dec 2019, 8:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 66,492
Location: Queens, NYC

09 Dec 2019, 8:28 pm

I feel "disclosing traits" is the proper way to go about it in many cases. And you're not lying at all.

To "disclose" that you have autism or Asperger's can result in negative things happening to you---especially in employment.



skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,468
Location: my own little world

09 Dec 2019, 8:35 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
skibum wrote:
Rainbow_Belle wrote:
It is a cruel sick joke to claim that Aspergers is a mild form of Autism implying it is less of a disability. Having average IQ or high IQ does not change the fact that people with Aspergers are just as unemployable and socially disadvantaged as people with low functioning Autism. There is more support and funding for low functioning Autism than there is high functioning people with Aspergers. When you have Aspergers you are on your own to suffer in your own misery and no support to find employment. Still got Aspergers and still unemployed 10+ years since graduating with a worthless college degree. I wish I had low functioning Autism and more access to support.
I totally relate. I am so glad that I was diagnosed in 2014 and not before the DSM took Asperger's out. I can't tell you how infuriating it is to have people say to me, "You JUST have Asperger's," as if I have no challenges. Well, I don't have to tell you Belle, that's preaching to the choir. I am sure you have to deal with the same thing. If people had any idea what my challenges actually are, they would be ashamed to say what they say. People who really know me are amazed that I am even able to stay alive.

If you say you have Aspergers people think you have mild autism or not real autism. Traditionally if you said you have Autism people are shocked you can get a coherent sentence out. Lately if you say you are autistic some people think you are a saint with superpowers. That is why I very rarely use the "A-Words" to describe myself. I usually use euphemisms. I say I am introverted, prefer my own company, am different, individualist etc. I call it disclosing traits.

Being mostly in the closet sucks.
It's a real shame that we can't just be open about who and what we are.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 20,779
Location: Long Island, New York

09 Dec 2019, 8:42 pm

skibum wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
skibum wrote:
Rainbow_Belle wrote:
It is a cruel sick joke to claim that Aspergers is a mild form of Autism implying it is less of a disability. Having average IQ or high IQ does not change the fact that people with Aspergers are just as unemployable and socially disadvantaged as people with low functioning Autism. There is more support and funding for low functioning Autism than there is high functioning people with Aspergers. When you have Aspergers you are on your own to suffer in your own misery and no support to find employment. Still got Aspergers and still unemployed 10+ years since graduating with a worthless college degree. I wish I had low functioning Autism and more access to support.
I totally relate. I am so glad that I was diagnosed in 2014 and not before the DSM took Asperger's out. I can't tell you how infuriating it is to have people say to me, "You JUST have Asperger's," as if I have no challenges. Well, I don't have to tell you Belle, that's preaching to the choir. I am sure you have to deal with the same thing. If people had any idea what my challenges actually are, they would be ashamed to say what they say. People who really know me are amazed that I am even able to stay alive.

If you say you have Aspergers people think you have mild autism or not real autism. Traditionally if you said you have Autism people are shocked you can get a coherent sentence out. Lately if you say you are autistic some people think you are a saint with superpowers. That is why I very rarely use the "A-Words" to describe myself. I usually use euphemisms. I say I am introverted, prefer my own company, am different, individualist etc. I call it disclosing traits.

Being mostly in the closet sucks.
It's a real shame that we can't just be open about who and what we are.

Both clichés are very relevant to our situation

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing"


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman


CarlM
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2019
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 218
Location: Long Island, NY

09 Dec 2019, 9:20 pm

That's sad that we still have to hide our ND from many people. Being old enough to retire sometime soon, I will be disclosing to people on a measured basis and will report the results. After asking an extended family member if she knew about my daughter's diagnosis (she did), I jokingly asked "think I might be on the spectrum?". She didn't answer but started talking about an extended family boy who has been diagnosed. She seemed accepting about my openness of ASD.

I had spent about an hour, total, with the boy some time ago and he struck me as AS. She said he's very intelligent which prompted me to say "ASD has nothing to do with intelligence either way". I realize that statement has a lot of exceptions to it. Do you think the statement is true enough to use as a mantra, when I think someone is going off a stereotyped tangent? I think I am getting to where I can discuss the exceptions.


_________________
ND: 123/200, NT: 93/200, Aspie/NT results, AQ: 34
-------------------------------------------------------------
Fight Climate Change Now - Think Globally, Act locally.


Rainbow_Belle
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 16 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 286
Location: Sydney

09 Dec 2019, 9:27 pm

Special school is the best for people with Autism and Aspergers so they do not have to put up with being picked on by NTs.
Unfortunately I endured the nightmarish hell of mainstream education and endured bullying and torment my entire time and I did not reach my full potential and no friends.



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 20,779
Location: Long Island, New York

10 Dec 2019, 5:51 am

Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Special school is the best for people with Autism and Aspergers so they do not have to put up with being picked on by NTs.
Unfortunately I endured the nightmarish hell of mainstream education and endured bullying and torment my entire time and I did not reach my full potential and no friends.

Similar deal here back in the 60s and 70s.


Instead of being picked on by NT classmates you will be picked on by NT Teachers/behavioral therapists :(
We have a member here EzraS who has gone to all special schools, and he reports bullying goes on there also.

Eventually somehow we have to be accepted or at least tolerated by the NT world. That can't happen if we are segregated.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman


GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,368

10 Dec 2019, 7:45 am

Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Special school is the best for people with Autism and Aspergers so they do not have to put up with being picked on by NTs.
Unfortunately I endured the nightmarish hell of mainstream education and endured bullying and torment my entire time and I did not reach my full potential and no friends.


But remember, in the REAL WORLD you need to learn to interact with all types of bullying and torment in order to function in society!! [/sarcasm]

Never mind the fact that as an adult, half my class would be in jail and the rich in society have always has their own private schools, clubs, etc. yet seem to be doing just fine. I was actually a bit depressed thinking about my early childhood: I was such a bright child who was light years ahead of other kids and if conditions were right I would have been VERY successful in life. I remember seeing a counsellor as a child and explaining all I wanted in school was to be left alone (by the bullies), period but back then it was beyond anyone's ability to understand how cruel almost everyone can be.



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 20,779
Location: Long Island, New York

10 Dec 2019, 10:05 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Special school is the best for people with Autism and Aspergers so they do not have to put up with being picked on by NTs.
Unfortunately I endured the nightmarish hell of mainstream education and endured bullying and torment my entire time and I did not reach my full potential and no friends.


But remember, in the REAL WORLD you need to learn to interact with all types of bullying and torment in order to function in society!! [/sarcasm]

Never mind the fact that as an adult, half my class would be in jail and the rich in society have always has their own private schools, clubs, etc. yet seem to be doing just fine. I was actually a bit depressed thinking about my early childhood: I was such a bright child who was light years ahead of other kids and if conditions were right I would have been VERY successful in life. I remember seeing a counsellor as a child and explaining all I wanted in school was to be left alone (by the bullies), period but back then it was beyond anyone's ability to understand how cruel almost everyone can be.

Those rich private schoolers do not get along fine, they either get addicted to easier available designer drugs, spend years in therapy because they have no grounding, or step on the rest of us because of never having to interact with us they don’t view us as fully human.

Most of the psych labels for mental illness were for rich people. Who else but rich people could afford to travel to Baltimore to see Leo Kanner during the Great Depression and WWII? Who were the refrigerator parents he blamed for autism?

Back then they understood how cruel it was but viewed bullying as boys being boys, a normal part of growing up. You were expected to be a man about it and fight back otherwise it was your fault. You did not need to win, just continue to fight back and take your lumps to gain respect. Being autistic I did not understand those social rules, they were taller and outnumbered me so it seemed illogical to fight back and invite the retaliation that was worse. Best I could think of was passive avoidance. Clueless choice, it did not work.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,468
Location: my own little world

10 Dec 2019, 3:37 pm

CarlM wrote:

I had spent about an hour, total, with the boy some time ago and he struck me as AS. She said he's very intelligent which prompted me to say "ASD has nothing to do with intelligence either way". I realize that statement has a lot of exceptions to it. Do you think the statement is true enough to use as a mantra, when I think someone is going off a stereotyped tangent?
Yes


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


Rainbow_Belle
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 16 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 286
Location: Sydney

11 Dec 2019, 1:14 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Special school is the best for people with Autism and Aspergers so they do not have to put up with being picked on by NTs.
Unfortunately I endured the nightmarish hell of mainstream education and endured bullying and torment my entire time and I did not reach my full potential and no friends.


But remember, in the REAL WORLD you need to learn to interact with all types of bullying and torment in order to function in society!! [/sarcasm]

Never mind the fact that as an adult, half my class would be in jail and the rich in society have always has their own private schools, clubs, etc. yet seem to be doing just fine. I was actually a bit depressed thinking about my early childhood: I was such a bright child who was light years ahead of other kids and if conditions were right I would have been VERY successful in life. I remember seeing a counsellor as a child and explaining all I wanted in school was to be left alone (by the bullies), period but back then it was beyond anyone's ability to understand how cruel almost everyone can be.

Those rich private schoolers do not get along fine, they either get addicted to easier available designer drugs, spend years in therapy because they have no grounding, or step on the rest of us because of never having to interact with us they don’t view us as fully human.

Most of the psych labels for mental illness were for rich people. Who else but rich people could afford to travel to Baltimore to see Leo Kanner during the Great Depression and WWII? Who were the refrigerator parents he blamed for autism?

Back then they understood how cruel it was but viewed bullying as boys being boys, a normal part of growing up. You were expected to be a man about it and fight back otherwise it was your fault. You did not need to win, just continue to fight back and take your lumps to gain respect. Being autistic I did not understand those social rules, they were taller and outnumbered me so it seemed illogical to fight back and invite the retaliation that was worse. Best I could think of was passive avoidance. Clueless choice, it did not work.


You could drop out of school or change schools and hope for a different outcome. When you have Aspergers, you do not need to put up with bullying. Being academically years ahead of your peers and an extreme introvert with Aspergers makes life difficult. Most kids at school are dumb and they act dumb to fit in. Smart kids get bullied and picked on because the majority of dumb kids at school are jealous of other people's success.



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 20,779
Location: Long Island, New York

11 Dec 2019, 5:24 am

Rainbow_Belle wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Special school is the best for people with Autism and Aspergers so they do not have to put up with being picked on by NTs.
Unfortunately I endured the nightmarish hell of mainstream education and endured bullying and torment my entire time and I did not reach my full potential and no friends.


But remember, in the REAL WORLD you need to learn to interact with all types of bullying and torment in order to function in society!! [/sarcasm]

Never mind the fact that as an adult, half my class would be in jail and the rich in society have always has their own private schools, clubs, etc. yet seem to be doing just fine. I was actually a bit depressed thinking about my early childhood: I was such a bright child who was light years ahead of other kids and if conditions were right I would have been VERY successful in life. I remember seeing a counsellor as a child and explaining all I wanted in school was to be left alone (by the bullies), period but back then it was beyond anyone's ability to understand how cruel almost everyone can be.

Those rich private schoolers do not get along fine, they either get addicted to easier available designer drugs, spend years in therapy because they have no grounding, or step on the rest of us because of never having to interact with us they don’t view us as fully human.

Most of the psych labels for mental illness were for rich people. Who else but rich people could afford to travel to Baltimore to see Leo Kanner during the Great Depression and WWII? Who were the refrigerator parents he blamed for autism?

Back then they understood how cruel it was but viewed bullying as boys being boys, a normal part of growing up. You were expected to be a man about it and fight back otherwise it was your fault. You did not need to win, just continue to fight back and take your lumps to gain respect. Being autistic I did not understand those social rules, they were taller and outnumbered me so it seemed illogical to fight back and invite the retaliation that was worse. Best I could think of was passive avoidance. Clueless choice, it did not work.


You could drop out of school or change schools and hope for a different outcome. When you have Aspergers, you do not need to put up with bullying. Being academically years ahead of your peers and an extreme introvert with Aspergers makes life difficult. Most kids at school are dumb and they act dumb to fit in. Smart kids get bullied and picked on because the majority of dumb kids at school are jealous of other people's success.

Most children do not have a choice of where they go to school, the parents make that decision. The child could run away but most times they can not afford to and are unable to successfully find another place to live. Even if the child does pull it off when they apply to the new school that school district are going to ask for academic records at which point it will be figured out they are runaways which point they are likely to be escorted by police back "home".


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman