Is eating alone in a restaurant now a big taboo?

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kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2019, 6:34 am

It’s not bad manners in New York. It’s considered normal for people to read at their tables in restaurants.

Aspie1
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05 Dec 2019, 6:49 am

Leon_Trotsky wrote:

Where in California were you? San Francisco and Los Angeles... (truncated)
...
That night, like other nights, I was in an Italian restaurant. I ordered nothing out of the ordinary. Glass of white wine and seafood risotto. I was reading my language textbook whilst eating.

I would say though that the restaurant was Downtown, and most people Downtown are young. The restaurant was filled with people in their 20s and 30s, some in their 40s. But mostly people under 40, I would estimate. I find that many people in their 20s and 30s stare at me, and not in a good way. But in restaurants when I eat alone, the stares are a lot more in number and more intense.

I was in Los Angeles. My hotel was just outside the airport, the fish taco place was a few miles away, and I took Uber to the cruise port next morning.

I was actually a bit surprised to see young attractive women (the ones I talked to) on a bus in Los Angeles. It always struck me as a very car-centric city, with the only people taking a bus being the very poor and the criminal elements. Maybe the car culture weakened in the last several years. Millennials are allegedly becoming anti-car, from what I heard.

Your food was more "normal" than my food. I had 3 fish tacos, pinto beans, rice, and a Pacifico beer. Also flan and a shot of tequila for dessert. Not cheap, but I was celebrating my first cruise in 6 years, and I hadn't had a proper meal since breakfast. The waitress checked up on me more than I was accustomed to back home, but I attributed it to the local culture, rather than me being alone. I fiddled with my phone while I ate. Other people in the restaurant totally ignored me.

The bus ride back to the hotel was uneventful. It was already dark out, so taking pictures was out of the question. Plus, the alcohol made me relaxed and spaced out. As a result, no one talked to me or looked at me.

kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2019, 9:00 am

Outside of major metropolitan areas, a car is about 99% a must.

Dial1194
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06 Dec 2019, 4:50 am

Joe90 wrote:

if you're eating alone at a table, it means you're a lonely schmuck who has no friends. So people eating alone usually sit at a bar, where such a thing is far better tolerated.

Again, pure marketing. It's a mindset deliberately cultivated by the hospitality industry so that people dining alone don't take up a table, even a small one, which could have up to four profit sources - er, I mean valued patrons, of course - seated at it instead.

Aspie1
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06 Dec 2019, 11:21 am

Dial1194 wrote:

This makes a lot of sense. With sheeple being sheeple, they buy into the marketing, and shame solo diners. And having difficulty making friends, we aspies suffer for it.

It also explains why there's no shame or stigma with eating alone on a cruise ship. When you go on a cruise, all regular meals and most snacks are included in your fare, and waitstaff are paid a token wage plus tips. So whether one person or ten people sit at a table, there's no revenue difference to the cruise line: they already got their money. In fact, solo diners are "cheaper", since they have to feed only one person at that meal, rather than two or more.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 06 Dec 2019, 12:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ManWithoutaTribe
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06 Dec 2019, 12:02 pm

I've never had trouble, or have felt out of place, and I eat alone most of the time, only occasionally at restaurants. But that's usually fast food or buffets. I suppose that the vibe is different in more formal, sit down and wait for your food restaurants.

I actually prefer going to restaurants alone, since I don't have to keep up chit-chat with whomever. I can eat what I want (I am vegetarian) without anyone paying attention to what I've ordered, how much I tip (I'm a good tipper), etc. And, there is not that awkwardness regarding "where do we go."

I've found a handful of restaurants where I feel comfortable, and stick to those. Love curry/Indian food the most!

demeus
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06 Dec 2019, 12:31 pm

I go to restaurants all of the time alone (and some very nice ones at that as I can afford it) and no one has ever stared at me. I don't think it is taboo at all and if anyone does not like it, that is their business, not mine.

Now, I understand that some restaurants have a certain dress codes and you have to conform to them. That would be taboo not to. Beyond that, I have the money and how I want to spend it and with who, again, is my business.

kraftiekortie
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06 Dec 2019, 12:32 pm

There really are not all that many restaurants which adhere to a strict dress code these days.

Dial1194
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07 Dec 2019, 6:53 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

There really are not all that many restaurants which adhere to a strict dress code these days.

I guess it'd depend on 'strict'. It's not too unusual to see "no flip-flops" or "no shirt no service" in restaurants which aren't in high-class areas. It's a little rarer to see "no t-shirts", but I've run across it once or twice.

Generally, the highest-class restaurants don't have a posted dress code because it's assumed that if you can afford to eat there, you'll already have the requisite social knowledge regarding the appropriate dress code. And I don't think I've ever seen a place which would refuse a patron who was wearing businesswear. (*Maybe* a nightclub, but they have different ideas about the image they want to project.)

Username765
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07 Dec 2019, 10:04 pm

i don't know why you would want to eat at a restaurant alone

auntblabby
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07 Dec 2019, 11:21 pm

^^^the answer to that, is one involving the enjoyment of restaurant-quality food that one may lack the wherewithal to make on one's own, and if other people don't share our interest, their loss.

Username765
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07 Dec 2019, 11:48 pm

auntblabby wrote:

^^^the answer to that, is one involving the enjoyment of restaurant-quality food that one may lack the wherewithal to make on one's own, and if other people don't share our interest, their loss.

that's a very good idea

auntblabby
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08 Dec 2019, 12:08 am

Username765 wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

^^^the answer to that, is one involving the enjoyment of restaurant-quality food that one may lack the wherewithal to make on one's own, and if other people don't share our interest, their loss.

that's a very good idea

and for you, a senior discount might be granted

skibum
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09 Dec 2019, 9:32 am

Leon_Trotsky wrote:

Since I am quite a solitary person, I tend to eat in restaurants by myself instead of with friends, and obviously without girlfriend/wife. If I travel I do the same, just table for one.

However, I notice that here where I live people really seem to dislike people who eat alone in restaurants. When I eat alone I notice that a lot of people stare at me, especially couples composed of boyfriend/girlfriend or wife/husband. Some would give me "the eye" when they glare at me even.

I looked this topic up on the internet. Apparently some people here say that if they have to eat in a restaurant and they are by themselves, they ring a friend to accompany them, to avoid being ridiculed for eating alone in a restaurant.

Every time I go to a sit-down restaurant, the couples that are seated next to me stare constantly and try to look at me when they think that I do not notice them. Some stare at me then whisper to their partner something, and this process repeats.

A few months ago I ate dinner alone at a French restaurant here. I was seated in between two couples. All four people from both couples kept staring at me and then lowered their voices when talking to their partners. Then they stared again and again. I was close to asking them sarcastically, "May I help you?" or something similar.

Is this something new? I have never heard of how eating alone in a restaurant is considered odd. Is this a new-fashioned taboo thing?

I eat alone in restaurants. I actually find it very difficult to eat with other people. Last night my kayaking group went out for burgers. The club pays for a burger night every year at our last practice of the year. They put three tables together so that we could all sit together. But I had to sit at my own table by myself because eating in too close proximity with others is too difficult for me because there is too much going on as far as sensory stimulation. So honestly, I think that anyone who has a problem with people eating alone in a restaurant needs to get a life. Why should they be bothered if someone chooses to eat alone? That makes no sense to me at all. I think that kind of attitude is extremely rude and stupid.

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skibum
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09 Dec 2019, 9:34 am

Username765 wrote:

i don't know why you would want to eat at a restaurant alone

Because you enjoy the food there. I don't go to restaurants to socialize. I go because I want to eat that particular food.

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