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Oakling
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02 Dec 2019, 4:39 pm

I received my final assessment report today (after a draft report a few weeks ago).

It was quite detailed, fairly accurate as far as I could tell.

I have been diagnosed with Aspergers, though it notes that I may wish to refer to the diagnosis as ASD or ASC. I am going to be referred to see if they can help with sensory issues and to a service who can offer support with employment issues.

I’m not sure what to think. I feel numb.

We also received my daughter’s assessment report on Saturday. She has been diagnosed with level 2 autism. I’m surprised by this as I was expecting borderline or level 1. Her performance on the ADOS was pretty bad, which has been a key influence on the level I think.

It’s all fine and I’ve been anticipating these results for over a year, but all the same, now they are here, I feel kind of lost. After all that waiting, I’m not sure what to do with the information now.

???



domineekee
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02 Dec 2019, 5:27 pm

Oakling wrote:
I’m not sure what to do with the information now.

???

Congratulations?

This is a slightly better situation than being shuttled around the various psychiatric departments of the NHS not knowing about ASD andbeing referred to the wrong therapies.Maybe stay in the system as long as possible and turn every stone over?

My results are still in the glove compartment of the car. :D



ASPartOfMe
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02 Dec 2019, 7:36 pm

Getting diagnosis for yourself AND your daughter is a lot to handle, no wonder you are numb.

The referrals you have been given seem really good, I would follow up.

The other stuff will take time. Getting diagnosed as an older adult can be confusing because it puts a lot of important things into a new perspective. You have been going through 43 years with basic misconceptions about yourself. You can't expect to figure out what it all means by tomorrow :D.


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Oakling
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03 Dec 2019, 2:22 am

Thanks Dominkee & ASPartOfMe.

I think I have been waiting and wondering so long, I thought that this would feel like a kind of end point (of the uncertainty at least), but the destination looks rather different now I’m here.



Magna
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03 Dec 2019, 9:18 pm

I congratulate you for learning more about yourself. It's totally normal to feel a bit numb or not knowing what to think. My advice is not to pressure yourself to come to any conclusions. This will be an evolving process for you. A process of self discovery. One of the things it did for me finding out about it in my late forties was allowing me to embrace, like and accept myself in ways I'd never been able to previously: "I'm not a loser who could never figure things out, I'm autistic and proud to be so, I might add!"

Embrace yourself! Congratulations.


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AQ-43 (32-50 indicates a strong likelihood of Asperger syndrome or autism).
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Rdos: Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 173 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 39 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


SharonB
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03 Dec 2019, 11:48 pm

I'm on a similar path. Got my diagnosis yesterday, awaiting written report. I have the intake papers ready to fill out for my daughter, but am stalling.

I have a whole bunch of mixed emotions.

I recall from yesterday's talk to continue with my ASD coach (see report for recommendations). Medications are not indicated. As far as my reading disability, simply have patience with myself and again feel free to communicate, e.g. "give me a minute to read this". I have a ASD support group already and they are tied into resources. I also plan to look for work-related help.

My biggest pain point is wanting to "be myself" versus learning skills to "fit in". I think I need to reframe that as: learning skills to help be myself.



Oakling
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05 Dec 2019, 4:15 am

Thanks Magna. The two sessions I had with the psychologist were (although difficult at times) probably the first time in my life I’ve felt like someone else actually ‘got me’ and understood what I was trying to explain. I’ve lived all this time feeling invalidated and that my experience was too weird to others to be real, so I’ve always wondered if I’m making things up. So on the one hand I feel a kind of almost overwhelming validation which puts all my relationships and experiences in a different light, but on the other hand I feel afraid to accept this new light - perhaps the invalidators were correct and I am making it up. There are certainly more of them.

SharonB, being yourself after years of trying not to be is always going to be a struggle. I wish you well on your quest for this - I hope I too will be able to take steps towards the same goal. There is a lot of unpicking and sorting through of thoughts and behaviours for me to help with this I think.



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07 Dec 2019, 1:41 am

Oakling wrote:
Thanks Dominkee & ASPartOfMe.

I think I have been waiting and wondering so long, I thought that this would feel like a kind of end point (of the uncertainty at least), but the destination looks rather different now I’m here.


That's how I felt when I was first diagnosed; I had thought it would be the end, but in fact it was only the beginning. That was the point at which I started researching services to see what I could find in terms of supports, and barring a couple of things I'm still trying to access, I'm in a pretty good place now. You'll figure out what you need in time, as long as you're patient with yourself. How old is your daughter?


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aquafelix
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07 Dec 2019, 11:17 am

I Hope the diagnosis is helpful



Juliette
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07 Dec 2019, 4:43 pm

Glad the assessments for you and your daughter are now complete, Oakling. Takes time to process it all, and hopefully you'll come to the conclusion that you and your daughter are equally as unique and worthy of respect and understanding as the next person. Helps make sense of behaviours and life experiences. Wishing you the best with this new confirmation.x



Oakling
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07 Dec 2019, 4:53 pm

StarTrekker wrote:
How old is your daughter?


Hi StarTrekker. She’s 11. Her route to diagnosis started with a tough transition to middle school two years ago, depressive symptoms and then a mental health assessment that suspected her underlying issue was ASC. She is not that impressed with the diagnosis and feels that they were quite negative about her abilities. I think we’ve reassured her on that front, but it is a very different experience for her to be diagnosed at 11 than for me at 43. She is keen to fit in and not have her friends see her as different so being autistic is not something she wants others to know. She does stand out as different but don’t know how much she realises that.


Thanks aquafelix.

Thanks too Juliette. I feel that in the long run the knowledge will be empowering for both of us, though I suspect I may find that quicker myself and it may take a long time for my daughter.