Knowing When to Share and Not to Share

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I have a hard time knowing what to share with new friends and acquaintances and what not to share, so then I end up being too reserved and struggle to say anything or make any friends at all.

When someone is talking to me about a topic I can relate to (but my situation was more extreme), I end tongue-tied and, perhaps, miss out on opportunities. Maybe they were sort of reaching out by telling me something about themselves, but I didn’t reciprocate in the way I should’ve. I’m sympathetic towards them, but I don’t say anything about me.

How do you decide what is or isn’t too personal to share?

My in-person conversational skills are built up around getting the other person to talk so I don’t have to.

I'm in the same situation. It's hard to know what to share and what not to. It helps to try to think of what the other person might find interesting or relevant, to keep it fairly superficial, to use stock phrases when possible so they can use a familiar response to a familiar expression, and to follow up a share with a question which invites reply.

For instance, if the topic is "mornings are hard", I might share-and-ask: "Most mornings I just make a breakfast out of coffee. Do you ever drink your breakfast?" Or if they ask about my job: "I'm an engineer. What do you do?" and "That sounds intense, how do you do that?" etc.

I've learned to keep my special interests OUT of conversations, not bring up mental health issues, and to share very little in general. Most people do best with very small doses of sharing.