I told my boyfriend I don't like being told to 'sshh'

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Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,000
Location: Maidstone, UK

25 Dec 2019, 2:24 pm

As some of you know people literally saying "sshh" to me makes me cringe for some weird reason (thanks to my stupid rigid thinking or whatever it is). So today I was in the car with my boyfriend and he was driving round some quiet, dark roads in the dark, and without thinking I started getting a bit overexcited with what we were talking about at the time and my voice raised. He was trying to concentrate on getting through these rather dangerous roads so he said "sshh-sshhh-ssshhhhh". I decided that now was the right time to finally tell him how I feel about the word "sshh". So I said, "I don't like being shushed in that way. I prefer you to say 'be quiet' or something". He understood, and added that everyone has something they don't like people saying to them, then he said, "well, be quiet for a moment while I get through these winding roads." So I did.

I didn't want to tell him that being "sshh'd" offends me, because it is rather illogical and odd, but I'm glad I did. It felt like the right time to tell him in a passive way. Just thought I'd share that. Now in future he will probably say "be quiet" or something instead. To me it's less cringing. I hate fingers going to lips and going "sshh". It makes me feel dehumanised. It's OK to do it to kids in a classroom.

Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,782

25 Dec 2019, 3:17 pm

Yes they act like every thought and emotion that goes through their head is the latest greatest scientific invention

But when I make the mistake of flapping my trap, they half listen and grunt "huh" and "what" as though they are the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me"

But in reality, the garbled up BS that comes out of my ugly fat stupid head is just as unimportant as what comes out of their entitled lil mouths

"Sssh" sounds kind of condescending to me, but you can't measure condescension

Maybe he doesn't mean "ssshh" the way you interpreted it

There is only one intended definition and everything else is a :evil: miscommunication :evil:

Yes I agree with you but please do not overreact