Is it true that people with autism dont feel social emotions

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blooiejagwa
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05 Jan 2020, 9:18 am

EzraS wrote:
It is possible that someone with severe autism would not react to being made fun of because it would not register. They could be very well aware they are being made fun of, but the emotional response connection would not be there.

When I was severe my outward reaction was pretty deadpan no matter what. Someone trying to make me cry or laugh would usually be unsuccessful. And even these days I am still often deadpan.

So your therapist was going by textbook severe classic autism - which does not apply to all severe autistics.



I didn't know textbook severe ASD isn't for all severe autistics. What a misconception on my part


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SharonB
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05 Jan 2020, 9:39 am

EzraS wrote:
It is possible that someone with severe autism would not react to being made fun of because it would not register. They could be very well aware they are being made fun of, but the emotional response connection would not be there.

I am DX "mild to moderate" and am "high functioning" (married, job). I know when I am being made of fun of (mostly I think) and I generally don't react. Won't change anything and I'm not sure to what extent it's good natured or not. I assume it's good natured. People laugh at me a lot, or the other day a new friend said "You are cute!" (I am nearing 50, so I know this is in response to my naivety or other ASD traits) and I assume she means it well and is not gossiping meanly behind my back (she doesn't seem like that type of person). Sometimes if I think about how often folks laugh at me or shun me, I could get upset... but mostly I don't think about it (another reason I "fail" psych tests... "do you think about..." --- No, no, NO, I do not).



quite an extreme
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05 Jan 2020, 9:49 am

It's right but not for all of us. Many of us don't get the emotions of others towards somebody else from their body language and behaviour. Once you don't get emotions a special way you are usually also not using that way the same for expressing emotions. But it's wrong that you are unable to improve. Many of us can improve a little bit if they are aware of it and really trying to improve.


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Dear_one
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05 Jan 2020, 10:11 am

My social reactions are erratic. I don't feel an insult if the words are misused logically, but can easily get stuck in overreactions as well. I empathize, but have only a very vague notion of the others' emotions, if any. I can't manipulate emotions, and even trying to consider them feels like unethical manipulation I won't do. When I felt emotions as a boy, my AS mother just quarantined me until they faded, lest they lead to noise.



quite an extreme
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05 Jan 2020, 10:19 am

Dear_one wrote:
When I felt emotions as a boy, my AS mother just quarantined me until they faded, lest they lead to noise.

8O That's so irrational that it sounds even funny (I'm a bit into black humor) but it must have been totally a nightmare to you. Sorry for you!

But it appoves my assumtion that Asperger's can be the result of an emotional self-protection because of very bad treatment as a child. :cry: If you start to suppress emotions near to others for not being emotional hurt anymore you become unable to develop emotions that are related to the emotions that other people develop because you start to cut off all feelings.


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Last edited by quite an extreme on 05 Jan 2020, 10:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

XSara
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05 Jan 2020, 10:28 am

Dear_one wrote:
When I felt emotions as a boy, my AS mother just quarantined me until they faded, lest they lead to noise.


if you were born after the 2000s your mother would've given you the ipad instead. i don't know who had it worse, the children of today or the children of your time.



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05 Jan 2020, 10:32 am

quite an extreme wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
When I felt emotions as a boy, my AS mother just quarantined me until they faded, lest they lead to noise.

8O That's so irrational that it sounds even funny (I'm a bit into black humor) but it must have been totally a nightmare to you. Sorry for you!

I didn't know any better, and I wasn't cold, hungry, or sore. It may even have been good training for attending school, where I daydreamed. Mother's rationale was that babies were akin to a larval stage, and that childhood began when language had emerged into full sentences and memories began in her life.



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05 Jan 2020, 10:52 am

XSara wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
When I felt emotions as a boy, my AS mother just quarantined me until they faded, lest they lead to noise.


if you were born after the 2000s your mother would've given you the ipad instead. i don't know who had it worse, the children of today or the children of your time.


Apologies for the thread hijack. Mother liked books, so we were the last on the block to get a TV, and even then it was rationed, and never browsed. I loved programming my first computer in my 30s, but now there is commercial influence everywhere, and no challenge. I don't envy kids at all. I hear that ordinary conversation is becoming a lost art, and that school is even less relevant. We only had the possibility of an atomic war to avert. Now, we are on a runaway train of climate change with no real plans for fitting brakes.



SharonB
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05 Jan 2020, 1:06 pm

Dear_one wrote:
When I felt emotions as a boy, my AS mother just quarantined me until they faded, lest they lead to noise.

My AS-like mom similarly shut me down or left if I was upset. I have this same inclination myself but know it's better to self-regulate and teach my children (AS-like and HSP-NT) the same - it's often embarrassing for me (yes, EMBARRASESING, a social emotion), but got to start somewhere. All those times as a child I was upset and needed comfort and help to learn to self-regulate and my parent left or blamed me... doing her best of course, but without the tools... Today some of us are being equipped or otherwise equipping ourselves better. My therapist has encouraged me to hug my daughter. I like hugging but don't b/c often what I do is "too much" so it's hard to do "correctly". My daughter is the "standoffish" ASD type and I didn't want to offend her. Guess what? She likes being hugged! It's still awkward for us at times, but it's a start. Hard for me to not overdo it and hard for her to do it. Two different ASD phenotypes interacting - gotta love us. :D

ASD tests need to have:
to you avoid looking at people or stare too much?
to you avoid hugging people or hug too much?
to you not notice body language or notice every single little movement (but still don't know what to do)?

OK, I want the AQ test rewritten... separate post.



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05 Jan 2020, 2:03 pm

Mine was a no-contact family, but I gravitated toward communities with hugging. I was even sponsored for about 18 excellent massage lessons. Years later, I traded for a massage, and wound up getting hired by a spa, where I got great tips.
The key to a good hug is in the hands. Hold the other person like an oversize baby.



dragonsanddemons
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05 Jan 2020, 4:43 pm

If anything, I feel social emotions more intensely than the average NT, I just don't always display them in ways NTs would understand/recognize.


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darkwaver
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05 Jan 2020, 6:15 pm

I don't think it's true, but levels of feeling might vary for different individuals. I can be a bit oblivious to it sometimes. But other times it can affect me a lot.



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05 Jan 2020, 6:21 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
If anything, I feel social emotions more intensely than the average NT, I just don't always display them in ways NTs would understand/recognize.


Yeah same, I'm known for being very emotionally intense as a person and people can find me a bit much. I didn't realise people actually thought we could not feel.



quite an extreme
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05 Jan 2020, 6:36 pm

I was only two days in my life able to recognize the emotions and nonverbal interactions of all people around. But I still don't know how become this way even if it would improve my life a lot. To me it seems nearly kind of a god mode in this strange game called life. You recognize instantly who likes or dislikes you or others and who is somehow emotional interacting with others. I think this is quite normal for NT people. But at least I'm not as bad at reading emotions in the faces and eyes of others. So I'm getting the intentions of others at least a bit. :roll:


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quite an extreme
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05 Jan 2020, 6:49 pm

lvpin wrote:
Yeah same, I'm known for being very emotionally intense as a person and people can find me a bit much. I didn't realise people actually thought we could not feel.

It's nonsense to call all such different conditions just autism. Asperger's is really a different thing. I think it's quite often the result of an emotional self protection of very little children. Once you are able to look in the eyes of people who are this way you may find the innocentest souls.


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06 Jan 2020, 3:04 pm

Is it true that people with autism dont feel social emotions? NO. It is not true. I think that really few people with autism who do not feel social emotions. Even among people with low-functioning ASD lack of them may be not common.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's but I had most of them, but some of them were present in atypical situations and were not present in situations in which they occur in people without autism.