College girls don't want to date guys who aren't in college?

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CubsBullsBears
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06 Jan 2020, 3:13 pm

A couple days ago, I got myself a bumble account. There are a lot of accounts that I have swiped right on already and a lot of them are in one of the major universities here in Iowa. I swear I've swiped right on about 70 accounts so far, but not one person has messaged me.

Well, there were a couple that swiped right on me, but the the one out of those two that I'm interested in has yet to actually message me and as many of you know, on bumble only women can send the first message.

The point of this post is that I told my dad about this, and he said that they're probably looking for someone who goes to their college. I didn't do too great in school and there's a community college where I live that has all kinds of programs for different types of careers, as opposed to going for a degree that costs thousands. I want to wait before I consider doing that because my mind needs a break from school right now I'm working full time as a DSP and I'm quite happy with that and the money I'm making. I'm able to put so much into my savings every 2 weeks.

Is college people only wanting to date people who also go to college a thing I wasn't aware of? I wanna understand more.


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06 Jan 2020, 3:25 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:
... Is college people only wanting to date people who also go to college a thing I wasn't aware of? ...
Yes. Definitely.

A person in a 4-year college is "dating down" (or "slumming") when he or she dates someone from a community college, a tech school, a "Beauty" college, or no college at all. Even people who attend private colleges consider themselves to be "dating down" if they date someone from a state-run college.

And even within a single college, many people earning STEM degrees look down on people earning HASS degrees.

We live in a global classist society.


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BTDT
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06 Jan 2020, 3:55 pm

Women are much less likely to "date down" than men. Historically a woman's economic prospects were largely limited by their husband. If a woman wanted to manage a large factory, that was only possible if your husband did that. Or if she inherited it from her family. Promoted to that position like a guy with great leadership skills? Inconceivable.



CubsBullsBears
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06 Jan 2020, 6:32 pm

Normally I would say, “but it’s 2020 now”, but given this, maybe this mentality is still alive and well.

When I’m not “college age” anymore, I’m guessing whether or not I went college won’t matter as much? Just as long as I have a full time job/make enough?

Damnit, I didn’t think all this was a big deal until now. College isn’t for everyone is what I was told.


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cyberdad
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07 Jan 2020, 6:06 pm

Think of this like a card game....normally a college degree is a indicator of social status and power to earn money. So in order to win you meed to match the cards.

However girls are willing to compromise if the man is both well read/self-educated (not boorish) willing to allow her to be intellectual or maintain her intellectual freedom and finally (and probably most importantly) be financially self-sufficient (usually a make without a degree would need to be earning big bucks to compensate).

I know plenty of university educated professional girls willing to marry tradesman but the aforementioned tradesmen are earning 6 figure salaries as plumbers, electricians etc so everything equalises out



kraftiekortie
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07 Jan 2020, 7:26 pm

A college girl would definitely prefer to date a college guy. No doubt about that.

Saying this, I don't think they'd mind it if you went to a community college---as long as you are going to college at all.

And, of course, you can meet girls in community colleges, too.

Credits at community colleges count just the same as credits at four-year colleges.



CubsBullsBears
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07 Jan 2020, 8:47 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
A college girl would definitely prefer to date a college guy. No doubt about that.

Saying this, I don't think they'd mind it if you went to a community college---as long as you are going to college at all.

And, of course, you can meet girls in community colleges, too.

Credits at community colleges count just the same as credits at four-year colleges.
I think going to a community college program isn’t as appealing as getting a degree.


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kraftiekortie
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07 Jan 2020, 9:04 pm

You can transfer to a 4 year college from a community college very easily—especially if you get good grades.



The Grand Inquisitor
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07 Jan 2020, 9:50 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Think of this like a card game....normally a college degree is a indicator of social status and power to earn money. So in order to win you meed to match the cards.

However girls are willing to compromise if the man is both well read/self-educated (not boorish) willing to allow her to be intellectual or maintain her intellectual freedom and finally (and probably most importantly) be financially self-sufficient (usually a make without a degree would need to be earning big bucks to compensate).

I know plenty of university educated professional girls willing to marry tradesman but the aforementioned tradesmen are earning 6 figure salaries as plumbers, electricians etc so everything equalises out

This essentially sums it up.

It seems that a lot of women, if not the majority, are only interested in dating men who make about as much money as they do or more. I think this is probably the main reason that women in college aren't generally interested in dating men who haven't completed or never went to college.

Then there are also probably women who want an intellectual equal, and who are of the mind that men who didn't go to college probably aren't on their intellectual level, so that's a deal-breaker. There's also the attitude that certain colleges aren't good enough. A woman from a prestigious college may reject a guy because he goes to a community college.

That being said, I don't think you can confidently say that the college women on bumble are rejecting you because you're not a college guy. In my experience, the whole swiping thing just sucks for a significant amount of guys. I never tried bumble, but I probably swiped at least (but probably well over) 1000 times on tinder when I was using it, and got about 10 matches out of it. It seems that unless you're a particularly good-looking or otherwise spectacular dude, only a small percentage of women will give you the time of day on these websites.

My thoughts are that you should try to have your profile show you off in as interesting and as appealing a light as possible and hope for the best. If that doesn't get you a reasonable number of matches after giving it a fair go, I'd say give up on online dating altogether, or only use it with the understanding that you're probably not going to have any luck and it's probably a waste of time.



cyberdad
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08 Jan 2020, 1:19 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
There's also the attitude that certain colleges aren't good enough. A woman from a prestigious college may reject a guy because he goes to a community college.


This is probably more of an issue for Asian girls who are relatively more status conscious...for others the $$ is all that matters



The Grand Inquisitor
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08 Jan 2020, 1:29 am

cyberdad wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
There's also the attitude that certain colleges aren't good enough. A woman from a prestigious college may reject a guy because he goes to a community college.


This is probably more of an issue for Asian girls who are relatively more status conscious...for others the $$ is all that matters

Yeah, I'd imagine in the vast majority of cases, it primarily has to do with the money. For a few, it probably has to do with education and intelligence, and for even fewer, there might be some college elitism.



cyberdad
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08 Jan 2020, 1:32 am

Plenty of uneducated boorish older billionaires and millionaire celebrities married to highly educated women.

Recently some washed up balding rockstar or actor got married to a hot younger medical doctor. Pretty sure she just ticked the $$ box when deciding to marry the old fool.



CubsBullsBears
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08 Jan 2020, 2:27 am

Like I said before, I’m making plenty of $ at my job right now. Meanwhile, a lot of people my age are/will have to pay(ing) so much for college.

I’ve been told I’m good looking quite a few times before, yet when I gain a crush on a girl, they’re not interested in me. Idk how else to describe my confusion with that and the college/no college stuff mixed in.


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cyberdad
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08 Jan 2020, 3:42 am

CubsBullsBears wrote:
Like I said before, I’m making plenty of $ at my job right now. Meanwhile, a lot of people my age are/will have to pay(ing) so much for college.

I’ve been told I’m good looking quite a few times before, yet when I gain a crush on a girl, they’re not interested in me. Idk how else to describe my confusion with that and the college/no college stuff mixed in.


Why not just date a girl who isn't college educated? simplify the algorithm



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Jan 2020, 6:08 am

I'll pm you guys, to have a private discussion.