Just avoiding the subject here.

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cberg
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12 Jan 2020, 7:01 pm

I realize the only socially accepted way of thinking romantically these days is to be meeting new people over & over; I live with what seems to be enough ASD troubles to more or less always prevent me from doing so. I always have. Thusly I've just been ashamedly avoiding talking about my (nonexistent) love life for at least a year lately. I think that just makes everyone uncomfortable anyway. I'm really tired of unwritten rules & other people's expectations getting in the way.


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cyberdad
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12 Jan 2020, 7:55 pm

So how is your predicament getting in the way of your expectations?

What would you hope/aspire to happen in an ideal situation?



cberg
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12 Jan 2020, 8:27 pm

I feel like I'm somehow asking too much just by contacting some friends in the first place. It's like I strictly just know all the wrong ways to start a conversation. In a perfect world as far as I can see, I would just be a bit closer to loved ones every day. I'm afraid it's usually the opposite happening.


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cyberdad
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12 Jan 2020, 8:40 pm

Avoiding going to the effort of contacting friends about your romantic situation? or avoiding contacting them because of the feeling you will be burdening them?



Jakki
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12 Jan 2020, 8:44 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Avoiding going to the effort of contacting friends about your romantic situation? or avoiding contacting them because of the feeling you will be burdening them?


given this piece of writing one wonders (however inapropriately) is the quality of friendship strained ..
almost sounded poetic after i wrote it ... :D


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12 Jan 2020, 8:53 pm

cberg wrote:
I'm really tired of unwritten rules & other people's expectations getting in the way.
I am too, man.



auntblabby
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12 Jan 2020, 9:24 pm

cberg wrote:
I realize the only socially accepted way of thinking romantically these days is to be meeting new people over & over; I live with what seems to be enough ASD troubles to more or less always prevent me from doing so. I always have. Thusly I've just been ashamedly avoiding talking about my (nonexistent) love life for at least a year lately. I think that just makes everyone uncomfortable anyway. I'm really tired of unwritten rules & other people's expectations getting in the way.

the people you make uncomfortable are not worth your time.



cberg
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12 Jan 2020, 9:47 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Avoiding going to the effort of contacting friends about your romantic situation? or avoiding contacting them because of the feeling you will be burdening them?


Both.


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-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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12 Jan 2020, 9:48 pm

auntblabby wrote:
cberg wrote:
I realize the only socially accepted way of thinking romantically these days is to be meeting new people over & over; I live with what seems to be enough ASD troubles to more or less always prevent me from doing so. I always have. Thusly I've just been ashamedly avoiding talking about my (nonexistent) love life for at least a year lately. I think that just makes everyone uncomfortable anyway. I'm really tired of unwritten rules & other people's expectations getting in the way.

the people you make uncomfortable are not worth your time.


Is anyone comfortable talking about anything in the context of ASD anyway?


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


auntblabby
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12 Jan 2020, 9:50 pm

cberg wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
cberg wrote:
I realize the only socially accepted way of thinking romantically these days is to be meeting new people over & over; I live with what seems to be enough ASD troubles to more or less always prevent me from doing so. I always have. Thusly I've just been ashamedly avoiding talking about my (nonexistent) love life for at least a year lately. I think that just makes everyone uncomfortable anyway. I'm really tired of unwritten rules & other people's expectations getting in the way.

the people you make uncomfortable are not worth your time.


Is anyone comfortable talking about anything in the context of ASD anyway?

QUALITY people are comfortable talking about it. don't bother with the other kinda folks.



cberg
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12 Jan 2020, 9:50 pm

Jakki wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Avoiding going to the effort of contacting friends about your romantic situation? or avoiding contacting them because of the feeling you will be burdening them?


given this piece of writing one wonders (however inapropriately) is the quality of friendship strained ..
almost sounded poetic after i wrote it ... :D


I have some really good friends & some really bad anxiety.


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-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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12 Jan 2020, 9:55 pm

For all I know maybe it's more just a hangup on my part.


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-Georges Lemaitre
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-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


auntblabby
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12 Jan 2020, 10:11 pm

we are the way the creator made us.



cyberdad
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12 Jan 2020, 11:14 pm

cberg wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
cberg wrote:
I realize the only socially accepted way of thinking romantically these days is to be meeting new people over & over; I live with what seems to be enough ASD troubles to more or less always prevent me from doing so. I always have. Thusly I've just been ashamedly avoiding talking about my (nonexistent) love life for at least a year lately. I think that just makes everyone uncomfortable anyway. I'm really tired of unwritten rules & other people's expectations getting in the way.

the people you make uncomfortable are not worth your time.


Is anyone comfortable talking about anything in the context of ASD anyway?


Actually as a parent it's too tiring/heavy so I tend to relate in a weird sought of way. I would just do what you are comfortable, maybe if you are in the mood text a friend (I just did this 10 min ago to a parent of an autistic boy who is kind of high maintenance but thought I would wish him a Happy new year).



cberg
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13 Jan 2020, 4:23 am

I got to wish my best female friend happy new year. :) I don't see her much & we both work a lot too, I'm thankful she's in my life to say the least though.

@auntblabby: I'm unsure of my factory warranty terms.


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen: