Sudden change of emotions to the extremes

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Recently I went for diagnosis (I suspect Asperger's) and came home with a borderline personality disorder dx (BPD). I feel it's as valid as horoscope - half okay, half not me thanks, so I try to figure out certain personality traits whether they are more autistic or more borderline. Of course I know someone can be Aspie and have borderline as well.

My question is about sudden change of emotions. I could identify it as a very BPD trait in the scientific literature. It's like very enthusiastically love someone or something and something changes suddenly or it could be piled up little things that reach your limit, and the emotion changes from this fangirl love to total emptiness or even hate. Has it ever happened to anyone here who is pure Aspie without BPD? Or this is really only a BPD trait?

I'm aspie and definitely not BPD and I have emotions that are very dysregulated and jump all over the place and always did. My understanding is that autism is a developmental disorder which means the symptoms were there in some from when you were a child, whereas a personality disorder forms later during teenage years. Did the diagnostician ask lots of questions about symptoms in childhood or just focus on adulthood? That's the only way to really differentiate between the two. I've also noticed that BPD is a common misdiagnosis in female aspies. There's nothing in the DSM-5 that says you can't have both. Which one seems to fit your experience? You seem to have done some research of your own. Can you get second opinion easily?

Nah, today I received a letter from her with the draft diagnosis to read it through. At the end it stood "high functioning autism (Asperger's syndrome)" You can imagine my shock: getting this after talking to her in person when she tried to convince me I'm not autistic. So it turned out with borderline she meant borderline autism and not BPD (could have stated it clearer), because both me, 44 and my mom, 76 had not many memories about my childhood. They asked much more from my first 4 years than from the rest of my life. My later years and the current state has the Asperger's traits, but before 6 yo the available information is limited. They put me into a therapy group with mixed people (mixed in terms of disorders) and will monitor my process. I'm totally confused

Yes, I'll look for a second opinion, even though I think I might have Asperger's, I want a clear opinion, not a "probably".

RE: emotions. I have difficulties regulating my emotions (and am very expressive). While my ASD-like BFF has rarely felt joy or despair and is rarely expressive (she's the "hypo" ASD type), I feel these many times a day and show it too (I'm the "hyper" ASD type). I was misdiagnosed Bipolar 2 a decade ago b/c I am moody (emotional dysregulation) and antidepressants make me manic (circumstantial). Because I compensate so well for my ASD, and have deluded myself to do so, I missed the clinical threshold for ASD on the ADOS-2 --- thankfully my dr wasn't fooled and used other criteria to diagnosis me (mild to moderate ASD). Still, he felt compelled to write in my report "she appears to meet the criteria for ASD" and it's driving me batty: do I, or don't I meet it?!

Sigh. After months of research, I know I do fit ASD (or rather I think I know - ack!).

RE: childhood. I am late 40s and my mom is mid 70s. She remembered my childhood as "normal" (she's AS-like) except she noted it was unusual that at 5 months I could happily play for hours by myself stacking rings, again and again. My dr did not speak directly to my parents. My ASD report said I didn't have separation anxiety or stranger danger as a child ... how would my dr know that (inferred from something I said that I don't recall)? In any case, I asked my mom and she said now that I mention it, that's true.

I found an ASD support group and feel "at home" there.

Wishing you find your way of being.

@SharonB: There are not many good doctors, unfortunately.
I'm also hyper: hypersensitive and showing emotions - people often say everything is written on my face.

My mom also remembered my childhood as normal, except difficulties with making friends and very shy and cry about it a lot. I didn't have stranger danger, but separation anxiety lasted till 12 years old. Which ASD group do you feel at home?

Thank you very much, I guess I have to read a lot

So true. My ASD therapist is seeking to help educate her medical community. She is the one who helped start the Adult ASD support group in my area that I attend (once a month). There are also adolescent and parent support groups (my NT husband started attending one with our ASD-like daughter in mind). I'm told by a groupmate who had tried other support groups that this one is good b/c we talk about real issues; she said the other groups were superficial and not as helpful.

My life was(/is) similar: I cried a lot. Except when I didn't, then I smiled a lot (and my biggest smile was during my largest distress). I hear that ASD is often misdiagnosed as bipolar and BPD, although I am sure there are overlaps. My assessor says there may still be some mood disorder for me --- I know my mood cycles along with my hormones but consider that as sensitivity rather than a disorder. I wish I had asked more, but I was defensive. Ah, well, another time.

BTW - I had my follow up with my assessor and I'm definitely ASD. He wrote the "appears to" since I mask and compensate so well relative to diagnostic tests. I assured him that I was intentionally misleading the tests, but after near 50 years of …. delusion, well, it doesn't just turn OFF immediately.

I look forward to being myself. Having grace for myself and being proud of myself … comfortably.
Wishing you similarly.