Advice needed: Grad School + Part-Time Work + Internship

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, new here. Need some advice

Question: How should I go about quitting my part-time job while attending grad school? Is this the right decision?

Background: Been researching for months, am sure I have AS, or I guess ASD Level I as it's called now. Haven't had a chance to be diagnosed yet, but will be seeing my Dr. soon for an assessment referral.

I'm 26, in grad school full-time 3 days a week. I work part-time on weekends. And this spring I will be working my remaining two days a week at an internship. So soon will be working 7 days in some capacity. Unless I quit my part-time job.

I'm also living alone for the first time, loving it but not managing to stay on top of daily living activities. I have to take breaks to recharge a lot, which looks like laziness to my family.

My parents don't know I'm seeking ASD assessment, though they've probably suspected I'm on the spectrum at different points in my life. Though I realize I've been masking my whole life, so I'm not sure. I will tell them soon, life has just been too stressful on them with both kids moving out, my grandmother's passing, and my father's surgery. I didn't want to overwhelm them with one more thing until life calmed down for them.

I was lucky to have been adopted by hard-working parents, who have built up a comfortable financial security net. They are loaning me tuition, and have offered a living-expenses loan once my own savings have been run down, which will happen by spring. I feel guilty accepting this, but other options seem too overwhelming for me.

Concerns: I'm not concerned about grades so much as I am about learning enough material to be effective in my career. I scraped by my first term only retaining the bare minimum of required learning material, scarcely managing my daily living activities (hygeine, housework, hobbies), and just generally feeling overwhelmed by the combined workload of school/life/work. I'm required to add an internship into that mix this spring.

I'm worried about burnout, and what I now realize are shutdowns my when my body needs to recharge. I can't afford to be overwhelmed too often and get behind on schoolwork.

I'm also worried about telling my parents that I want to quit my part-time job so I can focus on school/internship. They are the ones loaning me money, after all. My job also offers a $1000/term scholarship, so I would be giving that up as well.

Dilemma: The problem is I think I shouldn't wait for starting the internship to quit my part-time job. It's three months away, but quitting now would be ideal in my eyes. I would really benefit from using those extra two days each week to get back on top of daily living and schoolwork. I enjoy independence, so I'm really not looking forward to relying even more on my parents' financial support, but it's the best option I can see. I'm also worried they'd just think I was being too lazy, or fragile, or delicate.

Anyone had to cut-back on workload before?
Anyone kept a job while attending college/grad school?
Any ideas on broaching the topic with parents?

I guess I'm also looking for some sort of validation on this decision, but I realize I'm biased about it.

Thanks!

~Hollis

Is the internship a paid position and if so how does it compare to the funds you receive from your part time job? Internships can be important because they help with transitioning from the academic world into the working world. Many Aspies find that transition to be somewhat difficult and the internships are one method to up the odds.

Thanks, Jimmy.

The internship is possibly paid. Possibly not. If it's paid it will be about the same income as I make now, or slightly more.

I agree, whether it's paid or unpaid, an internship will help me transition into the working world, and I'm looking forward to it.

I'm just not looking forward to justifying to my family why I should leave my part-time job now, as opposed to waiting for internship to start in a few months.

Hi Hollis,
Could you find the middle ground and put your notice at work when that would give you about one month between the end of the job and the start of your internship?

Or, does your job allow for FMLA now to catch your breath and see how much of a break do you really need?

Assuming your job is not related to your career field and the internship is, focusing on school and internship to help you transition to your desired career while avoiding burnout makes sense long-term. With one even better option, which may or may not work depending on your field: using your break to find a job in your field, rather than an internship. With the current job market favoring job seekers, grad students have more job options than they think (this is what I suggest to my grad students).

Grad school is challenging, but it's absolutely worth it. Good luck!

If the internship is paid, then justifying quitting your part time job to your family should be less of an issue. But if the internship is unpaid, I feel that you need to consult with them and explain the situation and listen to their perspective. The reason why is because they are footing the addition cost. Work up a comparison sheet of pros and cons before you talk with them. Bring them into the decision making process.

Thanks guys,

I agree about involving my parents in the decision because they are the ones providing the loans. I think I'll put together the pros & cons list this week before I bring it up with them.

I also like the idea of giving some advance notice, because that would allow my boss enough time to hire a good replacement. I love my current job, but it's not in my career path, and I want to part on good terms. I think this would help ease that transition.

Thanks for the advice! It really helps to hear outside perspectives!! !

~Hollis