“Get a girlfriend!” or “Get your dick wet!”

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Marknis
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24 Jan 2020, 1:01 pm

Though I have often been told things like “Nice guys finish last!”, “You’re never getting laid!”, “You don’t need a girlfriend!”, and “You’re gay!”, I’ve sometimes been told to get a girlfriend but in a condescending way. It’s usually from people I’ve had conflicts with and they’ll use it as an insult to me. I used to be a mod for a small forum and someone who spammed the forum directed a message at me to “get a life and a girlfriend!” as if what I was doing as a mod was pointless.
Another jerk told me to get a girlfriend while also calling me a “dum dum”. :roll: In another conflict, someone told me I didn’t have a girlfriend as an insult to me. When my older brother beat me badly up eight years ago, he told me to get my ‘dick’ “wet”. Someone else has also recently told me this while boasting about their sex life to me.

I don’t want others telling me to give up wanting love but on the same token, I don’t want others weaponizing my emotions against me.



naturalplastic
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24 Jan 2020, 1:34 pm

Years ago...decades ago...I used to hear folks say that to each other about a third party.

Coworker A commiserates with coworker B about the socially inept supervisor coworker C, and says to coworker B "coworker C just needs to get his dick wet".

But I have never heard anyone say that to someone else to their face ( to me or to anyone else).

And yes...if theyre gonna abuse you would be nice if they could at least be consistent. Either tell you that you shouldn't have a girlfriend, OR tell you to get your dick wet. Make up their minds.

So that's awful that folks do that to you. The worst that I have ever heard was, from the same era years ago: a young lady coworker said "you need a girlfriend to calm you down" in a friendly way that caused us both to laugh.

But here is the thing. I am not there to observe how you interact with folks. If folks get THAT verbally abusive to you you may have some hand in it by being socially inept in some way that rubs folks the wrong way.



Dog1
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25 Jan 2020, 3:56 am

Marknis wrote:
I don’t want others telling me


People will tell you things, bro - that's life.

But you can't let other people's opinions of you run your life.

Their opinions seem to drive your thought-process 24/7 - you have to stop caring about what others think.

Getting a girlfriend is easy - once you know what you want.

You should really get a casual conversation going at the gym and get used to talking to some of the girls there.

If one seems comfortable with you, ask her out for coffee.

That simple - I do it all the time, bro.

It will be super easy for you.



smudge
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25 Jan 2020, 4:40 am

That kind of contradictive mindset is familiar to me as that one at school.



smudge
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25 Jan 2020, 4:43 am

Dog1 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don’t want others telling me


People will tell you things, bro - that's life.
But you can't let other people's opinions of you run your life.
Their opinions seem to drive your thought-process 24/7 - you have to stop caring about what others think.
Getting a girlfriend is easy - once you know what you want.
You should really get a casual conversation going at the gym and get used to talking to some of the girls there.
If one seems comfortable with you, ask her out for coffee.
That simple - I do it all the time, bro.
It will be super easy for you.



Not helpful.



The Grand Inquisitor
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25 Jan 2020, 4:56 am

Dog1 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don’t want others telling me


People will tell you things, bro - that's life.

But you can't let other people's opinions of you run your life.

Their opinions seem to drive your thought-process 24/7 - you have to stop caring about what others think.

Getting a girlfriend is easy - once you know what you want.

You should really get a casual conversation going at the gym and get used to talking to some of the girls there.

If one seems comfortable with you, ask her out for coffee.

That simple - I do it all the time, bro.

It will be super easy for you.

Do you acknowledge that there could be some reasons why you and Marknis might have very different success rates with this strategy?



The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Jan 2020, 4:58 am

smudge wrote:
Dog1 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don’t want others telling me


People will tell you things, bro - that's life.
But you can't let other people's opinions of you run your life.
Their opinions seem to drive your thought-process 24/7 - you have to stop caring about what others think.
Getting a girlfriend is easy - once you know what you want.
You should really get a casual conversation going at the gym and get used to talking to some of the girls there.
If one seems comfortable with you, ask her out for coffee.
That simple - I do it all the time, bro.
It will be super easy for you.



Not helpful.


Dog1 is denying, or at least unaware or pretending to be unaware, that his looks is a HUGE factor to his successes.



Dr_Manhattan
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25 Jan 2020, 7:22 pm

I just tell people to go f*** themselves. Seriously, if your happiness stems from having someone, what are you going to do if you have no one?



Borromeo
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26 Jan 2020, 12:51 am

Dr_Manhattan wrote:
I just tell people to go f*** themselves. Seriously, if your happiness stems from having someone, what are you going to do if you have no one?


Don't tell people to f--k themselves. They might throw their back out and you'd be paying for their chiropractor. It's like child support but weirder.


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Marknis
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27 Jan 2020, 12:54 pm

Dr_Manhattan wrote:
I just tell people to go f*** themselves. Seriously, if your happiness stems from having someone, what are you going to do if you have no one?


I don’t have a girlfriend.



revlar
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27 Jan 2020, 4:42 pm

People don't know what they're saying. I'm single and get differing advice... All The Time! My in-a-relationship friends both say I need a girlfriend and also complain about the little things their partners do and say that I'm not missing much, middle-aged women, "How do you not have a girlfriend. I need to set you up." Middle-aged men, "Don't get married. I wish I was your age so I could all these women." Parents, "Will I need to set another seat at the table for Thanksgiving this year?"

I also feel like for the people constantly asking how your love life is going or that you need to be in relationship that they're actually miserable in theirs and they look forward to the joy of you starting relationship so they can get secondhand smoke off of it.



Wolfram87
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28 Jan 2020, 7:23 am

"Getting your dick wet", while nice and all, isn't going magically make everything better.


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modernmax
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28 Jan 2020, 10:20 am

The proper response to "nice guys finish last" is always "yes, but they save the best for last."


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Fnord
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28 Jan 2020, 10:21 am

modernmax wrote:
The proper response to "nice guys finish last" is always "yes, but they save the best for last."
Since when are rejects, leftovers and used goods 'best'?


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Twilightprincess
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28 Jan 2020, 10:28 am

Perhaps, offline, you should avoid talking about your desire for a girlfriend except to those you're closest to. That's usually a topic reserved for friends.

Being single is a weird thing for adults to pick on someone for unless that person complains about his or her single status all the time and it's become an annoyance.



modernmax
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28 Jan 2020, 12:56 pm

Fnord wrote:
modernmax wrote:
The proper response to "nice guys finish last" is always "yes, but they save the best for last."
Since when are rejects, leftovers and used goods 'best'?


What you call rejects, leftovers and used goods I call "haven't gotten to their potential yet" (Michael Jordan and The Beatles were rejects), underdogs and experienced.


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