Put on the Good 'Ol Mask--Masking Autism

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redchidragon
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16 Feb 2020, 12:46 pm

I keep hearing I'm fine but I don't believe it. Have any of you fellow aspies learned how to channel you aspie so it's not apparent? It's pretty important since I'm trying to get and keep a job.



Last edited by redchidragon on 16 Feb 2020, 12:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Karamazov
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16 Feb 2020, 12:52 pm

That would be ‘masking’ you’re asking about, there are various threads here on the topic: typing the word into the search bar should bring them up :D
There are pro’s and con’s to it as a life strategy: but that’s discussed in the threads :)

And: Welcome to WP! :D
Good luck with the job getting! :D



I love belko61
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17 Feb 2020, 5:00 pm

I have always masked and have been employed most of my life because of it. Worked a variety of positions in manufacturing - on the floor, warehouse, coordinator, inside sales. Worked my way up until my kids moved out and I lost my motivation to work so hard to try and fit in.
Rough last seven years or so and my new motivation is to not loose what I worked so hard to get. Not for the stuff, but the stuff does give me the option to be independent and to be in control. I'm recently went back into warehousing because the atmosphere is relaxed and it's mostly filled with other misfits. I do work that has a start/middle/end and nobody judges me, I can joke around, I punch in, I punch out. I guess this is my truest self because I enjoy it. Physical work is much easier than mental gymnastics and crashing on the weekend.
Honestly I never knew I masked (undiagnosed) until recently since I've been reading about autism. But I've paid attention and notice how differently I am depending on who I'm with. I also tried traditional office work recently for the pay but I can't do it any more. After a few months my differences really stuck out and I was let go, even though I could do the job, I never really fit in (setting was too social).
So I'm restarted near the bottom in a company that has lots of room to grow. I hope they recognize what I have to offer and over time give me more duties and higher pay (most past employers have).
My main roadblocks are office politics confuse me, that I need efficiency, and that I can't stand gossips. If you're like me I'd advise getting a job where you have some responsibility, that way you have more control over your day. Since nobody really knows the exact details of what you are doing or the order your tasks need to be completed you can be somewhat flexible to suit your moods. No one really keeps tabs on you, or will question why you walk away from your desk, or will interrupt you (they will email though which is soooo much easier to deal with).

Good luck with the job hunt!



B19
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17 Feb 2020, 6:01 pm

Sometimes perhaps masking is more of a shield than a mask.



I love belko61
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17 Feb 2020, 7:26 pm

Yes, I use it to protect myself.



Guy Incognito
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23 Feb 2020, 9:05 pm

I have been masking my whole life. I watch movies, TV,, and YouTube, and mimic mannerisms and speech patterns. When I like people I start to mimic them as well



Phoenix canariensis
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04 Mar 2020, 2:15 pm

I think the aspergers ‘lack of interest in socialising’ results in poor social skills.

I went to various groups and then had to leave then because I was so awkward I got a reputation. Eventually I developed social skills - but still have absoultuely no desire to use them, that is unless they’re useful for presentations and team work.

I lacked intuitive skills as well as developed skills but I figured them out through trial and error. It sucked leaving those hobbies, and didn’t do much for my self esteem at the time but I gained alot from it and now people rarely, if ever, catch on that I have a social learning disability. It is however different for us all.



BlueOysterCultist
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30 Mar 2020, 12:26 pm

redchidragon wrote:
I keep hearing I'm fine but I don't believe it. Have any of you fellow aspies learned how to channel you aspie so it's not apparent? It's pretty important since I'm trying to get and keep a job.


Everybody masks. Even neurotypicals. At least, they do if you take Jung and his theory of the "persona" seriously.


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TatjanaErika
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17 Jun 2020, 7:22 am

I was quite good at it when I was in school. I pretended to be the cheerfull, optimistic and sweet girl like my best friend was. However, it was quite exhausting and I couldn't do it for more than a few hours. Now at the university and at my part time job, it is really difficult, since most of my co-workers are male so there aren't any suitable role-models.



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17 Jun 2020, 9:38 am

Masking is like an act when you are on stage and the real you is someone else behind the mask.


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Whale_Tuune
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06 Jul 2020, 7:03 pm

When people say "you're fine", they frequently mean "I don't care about your dx, and don't feel comfortable actually talking about your quirks and eccentricities."


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Jayo
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06 Jul 2020, 7:10 pm

Whale_Tuune wrote:
When people say "you're fine", they frequently mean "I don't care about your dx, and don't feel comfortable actually talking about your quirks and eccentricities."


Yes, EXACTLY. This response is the corollary to the NT maxim that "up to 90% of communication is unspoken".

Whereas, we tend to put too much emphasis on the words. But if you listen to that person's frustrated tone, clenched jaw and eyes, they really mean that they don't want to talk about perceived psychiatric disorders, which is taboo.