How would you deal with crippling depression?

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I don't have the clinical version, where seemingly there's no source for it, but it can really happen regardless, can't it? It's remarkable, to go from watching a movie a day, to not being able to do 30 mins, after social rejection... makes little sense too, because I've felt loneliness per se for a decade, after a while it's just a norm, but then this can still happen if an event happens objectively... and, of course, due to the rest of one's life being empty, it's quite difficult to process this heavy weight, per se. To think I've had only one short, close relationship a decade ago and likely to never again at this rate... it's not like it's not possible to be alone after a while, but only if problems are absent (I dread the possibility of medical issues, which in old age seem inevitable, it's already difficult as it is if I don't have pain killers for headaches)... what's funny is that social rejection, per se, isn't an objective problem, certainly not on par with any personal issues... doubt many will read this, so I'll stop here...

Is there a special interest you can do every day?

Slowly badly wrongly

I deal with it one minute at a time. I talk to myself and say well done! with every little task I manage to do. I accept that I can do only basic things and try and value myself nevertheless. I tell myself that if all I am capable of that day is breathing and going to the toilet then that's good enough. I throw out all my sleeping pills. I filter out negativity, no newspapers or news, if I were dead I wouldn't know anyway, I watch comedies even if I don't laugh. I talk to friends, those who care enough to listen (not that many) I tell them to remind me of things I have dealt with in the past and survived. I don't beat myself up for not being their wailing wall, I usually am. I don't like needing anyone. I make a mundane grateful list, water in the tap, a toilet that flushes, food in the house, things that much of the world population lacks. The smell of lavender and roses. One minute at a time. When I have the strength and money I go to therapy, as a last resort. I remember that I have been in this despair before and it has eventually passed.

BTDT, every interest is diminished in this state, one needs to dissociate the external world to really delve and enjoy art etc. and this place hinders that.

Teach51, some of those seem more able to be appreciated not in this state... watching comedies without laughing, though? Besides the possibility of it being not funny, if I'm too depressed to even feel like it then I just don't, I usually watch horror while some external thing is bothering me, but recently after this massive rejection I could barely concentrate on even that. Not that I don't feel what it's meaning to convey, but drama e.g. feels light because I can easily go back to the rejection mentally (if, though, something horrific is actively happening on-screen then, sure, I've never noticed these intrusive thoughts, but if it's just mundane drama... I think it's a case of my cortisol overcoming a less powerful feeling/focus).

This suggest there may be an environmental component to your depression.

I am lucky to have a garden in my yard to work on all the time.

I'd find myself a good therapist and see if I can get medications that can help me.

Weirdness, there is growing evidence that many animals can suffer from mental health disorders similar to those seen in humans, including depression and PTSD. Animal mental illness can be triggered by many of the same factors that unleash mental illness in humans. That includes the loss of family or companions, loss of freedom, stress, trauma and abuse.

Depression in humans can produce some of the following symptoms:
* Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
* Feelings of hopelessness, or pessimism
* Irritability
* Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
* Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
* Decreased energy or fatigue
* Moving or talking more slowly
* Feeling restless or having trouble sitting still
* Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
* Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
* Appetite and/or weight changes
* Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
* Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical
cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment

So when you said "rest of one's life being empty" it matches the empty mood, and a feeling of hopelessness.
"I can barely concentrate" matches difficulty concentrating.

So I think you have correctly interpreted your condition as depression. But then the next step is what to do about correcting this condition. I think you can find some relief if you learn how to vent the stress energy that is stored in your nervous system. I would recommend reading a couple books that may help you.

"In an Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine.
"The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process" by David Berceli.

Ten years ago, I could barely walk through my workshop, but I cleared a little space for making little things just for fun. That was enough to reverse the trend and start recovery. If I had not kept up healthy food, sleep, exercise and sunlight exposure I might have been too far gone. More of those are even better, and meditation always helps when I do it at all well.
Sometimes a challenging physical situation will re-start the zest to live. Helping someone who needs something you can still do is also pretty effective.

The Internet can be pretty depressing, particularly if you let social media like Facebook get out of hand.
Time away from being online may be a good idea. Read a book. Put together a Lego set. Weed a garden.
Little activities can make a big difference.

^^ Oh, yeah. That's basic hygiene. I used to think it was OK to listen to the radio, because I would not be swayed by ads for cars and mattresses, etc. Then I realized that ads work on the subconscious, and first make you sad, in hopes that you will buy the product to restore your mood. If you don't buy, you feel a bit lower every time. Facebook is designed to turn you into a cyborg - it's like working for Amazon, but without the pay for a demanding schedule.

I find it helps to loop songs while surfing the web.

Animals help me tremendously. Petting a cat (or dog) is therapeutic for me.

The physical exercise I get on the tennis court is a great stress buster.

I highly recommend seeing a psychiatrist and trying medication/antidepressants. It literally saved my life. It took a few tries before they found the right one, but it is the only thing that makes my life bearable. It made a 180 degree difference for me.

I highly recommend staying with counsellors who can't prescribe. The drug companies are trying to stamp them out, but it is still the personal attention that counts. When antidepressants are tested against sugar pills, they win because the control group knows that nothing is expected of them. If the controls are given anything that makes them feel weird, that catalyses a change in thinking. However, prescribing antidepressants is a very try it and see proposition. I have only been physically attacked twice as an adult, and both times my assailant was on an experimental dosage. They can also be harder to quit than anything else I've heard of.

A long time ago social acceptance was important to me, but I gave up on it and it has not bothered me since. I have other problems to deal with though.
In the past couple of months I have been depressed because something unexpected and intentional came up which interfered with my career. My job was going very well before this, and it was the most important thing in my life. This hit me pretty hard as it may interfere with my long term plans. I had never experienced this level of grief and am not out of the woods yet.
One thing I did notice though is that the ups and downs are triggered by trivial causes that before would never have mattered to me.
The way I try to calm myself is to think of this job as lost. In the short term this would make me very happy as I would get some time to clear my head.
Furthermore, I consider the life of an autistic in general as a poor quality life. The main source of joy for NTs seems to be interacting with other people, whereas for us this is far less joyful. There seems to be no source of joy to replace this. So I think no matter what I do in life I will not be very happy. I can still shoot for tranquility which is possible.
But all in all I consider our lives as seriously handicapped. I have started considering this life as lost. I will still try to do the best I can but it will not go very far. In at most another 50-60 years I'll be dead like the rest, and none of it will matter. One more animal that did not have a fulfilled life...
There is peace in giving up. Who knows, once you've accepted the loss you might eventually partially accomplish what you want without conscious effort. In the mean time keeping our expectations low in this life seems to add much needed stability.

Last edited by Callisthenes on 08 Mar 2020, 9:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.