29 Mar 2020, 5:18 pm
30 Mar 2020, 10:02 pm
Mountain Goat wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
That's the first sign that a patient is autistic.
Denial that they are autistic.
If you're not autistic then...you're just open and honest about it, and you freely admit...that you're autistic!
Denial that they are autistic.
If you're not autistic then...you're just open and honest about it, and you freely admit...that you're autistic!
Many years I had people say I had aspergers or autism or ask if I had and each time I would deny it. I would look at them puzzled.
Now I may not be on the spectrum, but things do make sense when before things didn't.
It is like doing a jigsaw puzzle where before the pieces seemed to fit but they were giving a muddled picture, and now since I have autism glasses on they all fit perfectly and I can see the whole picture accurately.
So if I am assessed and found that I don't have autism, it is like ripping the jigsaw apart and no knowing even where to find the first piece!
For what it's worth i think you have ASD from the way you write. Not as a negative trait but in my opinion positive because it's like me or my brother where you say a lot but in reality it is not jumbled it all is details that do link together and you have several layers of observations and also it is coming from a place that NTs dont (theirs is very restricted and with many filters and biases and you can tell)..
And a more 'scientific' attempt at mulling over a topic i mean not prejudiced but using various observations strung together to form an opinion. NTs dont do that usually.
when I have read your posts in the past too I thought that
Thank you. It helps as it makes more sense of where I am. In one way I don't mind if I am on the spectrum or not but I don't want to be in this middle "No mans land" or missdiagnosed of not being on the spectrum when I am, as I am trying to make sense of things. If I am declared an NT it makes no sense to me.
Initially on joining this site, I assumed that I was ever so slightly edging towards the autism spectrum but not actually in it (But no where near a typical NT either) as I had spent a lifetime of being rather puzzled and fed up of being not one thing or the other, and yet suffering as if I have difficulties but never diagnosed as having any difficulties in whatever I had been tested for. (Years of trying to trace medically of what I now know to be shutdowns and partial shutdowns which is why, though for me it was a bit of a longshot, that I asked for an autism assessment (Took me two years to adk as I kept clamming up), and why I joined this site straight after as the doctor could not give me a direct answer to my questions except to say she would put me on a list to be assessed but doubted they would accept me (I couldn't say much when asked abut why I thought I maybe autistic as I just did not know. Dr did not know what an shutdown is and neither did I even though I described it accurately... I just saw a link between what triggers a shutdown foe me and what can trigger a meltdown (Which dr did know about) and asked if they were in anyway related? She said "Definately not" which shows that she has things to learn about autism. I am very greatful to her to refer me to go on the assessment list as past doctors would not even have put me on the list if I had asked)).
Ok. Before I talk around the world and back... I think I better post this reply. Haha!
But thanks for what you wrote. Much appreciated.
What you wrote about your doctor is very kind. I would have been way harsher and angry. Research even shows that shutdowns alter your brain patterns. Im sorry you've had to experience so many shutdowns... they are the worst thing. Even outsiders wondered if you have it. Come on doc!
Anyway from this forum of diverse but very amazing people
and real life meeting people on the spectrum at hospital and camp for kids who had ASD ...I learned that people with ASD or previously termed Aspergers are sincere and more honourable/ethically minded than most people. Even if they are in their own world entirely and very severe they still approach life in that way to the best of their ability .. if you spend time with them it comes out.
The way you spoke of your doctor in that gentlemanly way epitomizes those traits.
Though she is in my doctors surgery, it is the first time and the only time so far, that I have seen that doctor. From what ofters say she is always straight to the point and when I described her and gave descriptions of her to someone, they said that it is possible that she may be autistic and not know it.
I am just greatful that she put me forward to be on the list and that the autism team accepted me on the little they have to go on.
If it wasn't for me taking my Mum in with me, I would not have been put forward to be assessed, because for two years I had tried to ask and failed (Other doctors... But I did not oreviously go in solely to ask to be assessed. I went in for other reasons and was hoping to ask while I was there).
I was soo annoyed with myself through clamming up over two years of trying, that I took my Mum in. My Mum did not think I was on the spectrum, but she did speak up when I clammed up. (I don't normally bring my Mum in with me, but I am soo glad I did).
I have to talk around the point I need to make as if I see a doctor and try to come straight to the point I clam up. I have to reverse my mind and talk round the obsticle so I trick my mind and reach the point I want to make from a round about angle of approach if that makes sense?
So when I saw the doctor and started talking, I first started to say I had prosopragnosia and she said "So?" (As if it is not a problem in itself!) which nearly made me clam up, but I was able to carry on and then I described the symptoms of a shutdown and then asked if it could be a meltdown... And then I asked if I could have aspergers and she said "Symptoms?"
Then I clammed up. These one word straight to the point questions are not good for me as they make me need to suddenly reply without giving my mind a chance to think!
It was a good job my mother was there as when I clammed up she took over and said how I was not able to work or keep a job.
After my Mum said that I was able to talk again.
I don't kniw why I clam up. It is what I call mind blank when I can't think of anything. Nothing! Mind just stops! And I only seem to get it when I visit doctors or other official places. And I get it when I need to talk about myself to an official person and I am nurvous.
And when I get mind blank, the only way to free the "Blockage" is to turn 90 degrees and speak about an entirely different subject, and my mind frees up again, and then I can slowly bring my talk back round to get to the origional subject from a non-direct angle of approach. (Does anyone else get this?)
As I have had a lifetime of doing this, most people don't notice and it seems a seamless but indirect conversation, as I am soo used to quickly going off at angles to avoid a clammed up mind that even I don't notice until I am like I am now and analysing things.
I am a funny person! Haha!
But it does make me think of one of the old computers which can run a game or another program until it reaced a certain point and hits a fault and stops. It is like that happens in my mind.
Yes i have that too!! !! Swear!! That's why I hatetalking to lawyers because it's so official and my mind can go blank. Also that doctor sounds arrogant and mean and judgemental and she wasnt giving you room to understand what to explain with her questions.
Just like my old lawyer he was like that too and glaring and mean.
These types dont have graciousness in the way they approach a person.
People like that make me freeze or I overprepare in advance (write it out)..
Then i can say it ..sometimes
I prepare in advance by writing things out thrn i have the words needed ..
Still get stuck but improved ..
I watch videos of ppl (interviews etc ) and train myself to pick up how ppl talk and speak about things so i dont get stuck n blank..
My brothers have this too.
Thanks for sharing. It becomes so freaky to think that nobody around u seems to have these problems and can talk and do things with ease...
31 Mar 2020, 8:10 am
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| new profile pic |
02 Feb 2024, 11:03 pm |
|
My own Forensic Psychology profile
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
15 Apr 2024, 10:37 pm |
| A counterpoint to Autistic Supremacy? Autistic Inferiority? |
26 Feb 2024, 1:46 pm |
| Handbook for autistic-autistic social interactions |
08 Feb 2024, 1:31 pm |
