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Jamesy
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28 Mar 2020, 7:20 pm

In general the women I am attracted to are not attracted to me in return which is not easy to accept.

Do you think if I want a relationship at any cost I should settle for someone who is not my ideal choice? My mom told me when I was a teenager that you might have date people that I even don’t like.



SportsGamer35728
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28 Mar 2020, 10:12 pm

I know exactly how you feel unfortunately :( What makes it worse in my case is that I'm attracted to a wide variety of types of women ranging from athletic/cheerleader to punk/goth but can't seem to appeal to any of them :P Best of luck to you though!



quite an extreme
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29 Mar 2020, 3:50 am

Jamesy wrote:
In general the women I am attracted to are not attracted to me in return which is not easy to accept.

Do you think if I want a relationship at any cost I should settle for someone who is not my ideal choice? My mom told me when I was a teenager that you might have date people that I even don’t like.

Hard to say but know this. You shouldn't date women that you don't like. If there isn't any attraction at first time then it doesn't grows over time and you may feel dishonest from beginning and don't really want this. Beside of this has any woman also traits which you dislike but have to accept. There are many quite different traits of different women that you may be attracted to and you won't find all at once together. So don't look for perfection but someone who totally attracts you and feels nice towards you too. Try to establish an emotional connection to her then. Best for a relationship is if you both crush and if you realize this of each other.


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Muse933277
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29 Mar 2020, 11:06 am

You shouldn't date anybody you're physically attracted to at all, BUT at some point you have to be realistic about the type of women you are able to attract. I don't know you, I have no idea what you look like, your level of autism, or what your dating history is. But if you're 30 years old, still a virgin, have had little to no women express interest in you, then it's clear that something is wrong. When you figure out what that is, then you will have a better understanding of knowing what to do.

What's your current job situation and living arrangements? At 30 years old, you're expected to be living on your own and have a full-time job. If this doesn't describe you, then don't even focus on dating and focus on that first.

Also, looks are important as well. Be honest with yourself, do you look like one of these guys?

https://image1.masterfile.com/getImage/ ... erfile.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNBt1wyUMAEy3pF.jpg


I'm sure they're great guys, but if you look like one of these guys, you're fat, ugly, not very good looking, then at some point you're going to have to be realistic about the women you are able to attract. You're probably not going to be dating hot 25 year old women unless you have a lot of money.

At some point, you're going to have to make a choice. You can either choose to hold out for an attractive high quality woman but stay single for a very long time, or you can lower your standards and date a more plain looking women closer to your level and find her a lot sooner. The choice is yours.



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29 Mar 2020, 12:23 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
You shouldn't date anybody you're physically attracted to at all, BUT at some point you have to be realistic about the type of women you are able to attract. I don't know you, I have no idea what you look like, your level of autism, or what your dating history is. But if you're 30 years old, still a virgin, have had little to no women express interest in you, then it's clear that something is wrong. When you figure out what that is, then you will have a better understanding of knowing what to do.

What's your current job situation and living arrangements? At 30 years old, you're expected to be living on your own and have a full-time job. If this doesn't describe you, then don't even focus on dating and focus on that first.

Also, looks are important as well. Be honest with yourself, do you look like one of these guys?

https://image1.masterfile.com/getImage/ ... erfile.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNBt1wyUMAEy3pF.jpg


I'm sure they're great guys, but if you look like one of these guys, you're fat, ugly, not very good looking, then at some point you're going to have to be realistic about the women you are able to attract. You're probably not going to be dating hot 25 year old women unless you have a lot of money.

At some point, you're going to have to make a choice. You can either choose to hold out for an attractive high quality woman but stay single for a very long time, or you can lower your standards and date a more plain looking women closer to your level and find her a lot sooner. The choice is yours.


https://pof.com/viewprofile?profile_id=81755708
Here's my POF profile. Do think I'm aiming too high?



Jamesy
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29 Mar 2020, 12:50 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
You shouldn't date anybody you're physically attracted to at all, BUT at some point you have to be realistic about the type of women you are able to attract. I don't know you, I have no idea what you look like, your level of autism, or what your dating history is. But if you're 30 years old, still a virgin, have had little to no women express interest in you, then it's clear that something is wrong. When you figure out what that is, then you will have a better understanding of knowing what to do.

What's your current job situation and living arrangements? At 30 years old, you're expected to be living on your own and have a full-time job. If this doesn't describe you, then don't even focus on dating and focus on that first.

Also, looks are important as well. Be honest with yourself, do you look like one of these guys?

https://image1.masterfile.com/getImage/ ... erfile.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNBt1wyUMAEy3pF.jpg


I'm sure they're great guys, but if you look like one of these guys, you're fat, ugly, not very good looking, then at some point you're going to have to be realistic about the women you are able to attract. You're probably not going to be dating hot 25 year old women unless you have a lot of money.

At some point, you're going to have to make a choice. You can either choose to hold out for an attractive high quality woman but stay single for a very long time, or you can lower your standards and date a more plain looking women closer to your level and find her a lot sooner. The choice is yours.




well i have been told before i look like robert carlyle, christian bale, lionel messi, tom cruise, johnny depp, keanu reeves and yes even david beckham.

i am slim as well and workout weighing 160 pounds at 5ft8 but yeah at 30 i am still a virgin.


i am also long term unemployed and living with parents.

these days only weird elderly women seem to be attracted towards me.



jimmy m
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29 Mar 2020, 1:52 pm

IMHO there is a myth that every girl has a perfect soulmate somewhere in the world. For the most part I feel that most males and females have a wide range of soulmates scattered about the world. This concept of "sometimes having to settle" is a bad philosophy. Just interact with girls and look deeper than just the exterior of a person. Look at their inner soul.

I think many girls may suffer from "princess syndrome". Wikipedia described it best: "Princess sickness (or princess syndrome) is a term used in China and Korea to describe a psychological phenomenon affecting young women, especially teenagers, and can be characterized by numerous psychological disorders, including narcissistic personality disorder, egocentrism and histrionic personality disorder, consequently resulting in individuals acting like or believing that they are 'princesses'." That is a problem in society at the moment.

A girl with Princess Syndrome lives life as a fairy tale, believing that she is the centre of the universe and that earth and its people will protect her and love her no matter what.

Just like a real Princess, a girl may come to believe that any potential partner will come to her rescue and save her from any sort of trouble in life. You often hear these sorts of girls being referred to as ‘high maintenance’ or ‘too demanding’ by men.

Source: Saving your daughter from Princess Syndrome

Then as they get older and the number of suiters begin to dwindle, they become wiser and come out of their imaginary shell.

You wrote, "i am also long term unemployed and living with parents." This could be a major impediment to dating.


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SportsGamer35728
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29 Mar 2020, 2:02 pm

jimmy m wrote:
IMHO there is a myth that every girl has a perfect soulmate somewhere in the world. For the most part I feel that most males and females have a wide range of soulmates scattered about the world. This concept of "sometimes having to settle" is a bad philosophy. Just interact with girls and look deeper than just the exterior of a person. Look at their inner soul.

I think many girls may suffer from "princess syndrome". Wikipedia described it best: "Princess sickness (or princess syndrome) is a term used in China and Korea to describe a psychological phenomenon affecting young women, especially teenagers, and can be characterized by numerous psychological disorders, including narcissistic personality disorder, egocentrism and histrionic personality disorder, consequently resulting in individuals acting like or believing that they are 'princesses'." That is a problem in society at the moment.

A girl with Princess Syndrome lives life as a fairy tale, believing that she is the centre of the universe and that earth and its people will protect her and love her no matter what.

Just like a real Princess, a girl may come to believe that any potential partner will come to her rescue and save her from any sort of trouble in life. You often hear these sorts of girls being referred to as ‘high maintenance’ or ‘too demanding’ by men.

Source: Saving your daughter from Princess Syndrome

Then as they get older and the number of suiters begin to dwindle, they become wiser and come out of their imaginary shell.

You wrote, "i am also long term unemployed and living with parents." This could be a major impediment to dating.


THIS!! ! And thanks to the late 80's-early-90's Disney Renaissance it's gotten even worse! :P



I love belko61
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29 Mar 2020, 3:11 pm

Maybe don't think about going after a relationship, just having some fun/practice. Don't think long term! Talk to a girl at a party or something - someone who seems nice. This will develop confidence. Smile with your eyes.



Muse933277
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29 Mar 2020, 4:30 pm

SportsGamer35728 wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
You shouldn't date anybody you're physically attracted to at all, BUT at some point you have to be realistic about the type of women you are able to attract. I don't know you, I have no idea what you look like, your level of autism, or what your dating history is. But if you're 30 years old, still a virgin, have had little to no women express interest in you, then it's clear that something is wrong. When you figure out what that is, then you will have a better understanding of knowing what to do.

What's your current job situation and living arrangements? At 30 years old, you're expected to be living on your own and have a full-time job. If this doesn't describe you, then don't even focus on dating and focus on that first.

Also, looks are important as well. Be honest with yourself, do you look like one of these guys?

https://image1.masterfile.com/getImage/ ... erfile.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNBt1wyUMAEy3pF.jpg


I'm sure they're great guys, but if you look like one of these guys, you're fat, ugly, not very good looking, then at some point you're going to have to be realistic about the women you are able to attract. You're probably not going to be dating hot 25 year old women unless you have a lot of money.

At some point, you're going to have to make a choice. You can either choose to hold out for an attractive high quality woman but stay single for a very long time, or you can lower your standards and date a more plain looking women closer to your level and find her a lot sooner. The choice is yours.


https://pof.com/viewprofile?profile_id=81755708
Here's my POF profile. Do think I'm aiming too high?



The link to your profile doesn't work.



SportsGamer35728
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29 Mar 2020, 5:46 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
SportsGamer35728 wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
You shouldn't date anybody you're physically attracted to at all, BUT at some point you have to be realistic about the type of women you are able to attract. I don't know you, I have no idea what you look like, your level of autism, or what your dating history is. But if you're 30 years old, still a virgin, have had little to no women express interest in you, then it's clear that something is wrong. When you figure out what that is, then you will have a better understanding of knowing what to do.

What's your current job situation and living arrangements? At 30 years old, you're expected to be living on your own and have a full-time job. If this doesn't describe you, then don't even focus on dating and focus on that first.

Also, looks are important as well. Be honest with yourself, do you look like one of these guys?

https://image1.masterfile.com/getImage/ ... erfile.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNBt1wyUMAEy3pF.jpg


I'm sure they're great guys, but if you look like one of these guys, you're fat, ugly, not very good looking, then at some point you're going to have to be realistic about the women you are able to attract. You're probably not going to be dating hot 25 year old women unless you have a lot of money.

At some point, you're going to have to make a choice. You can either choose to hold out for an attractive high quality woman but stay single for a very long time, or you can lower your standards and date a more plain looking women closer to your level and find her a lot sooner. The choice is yours.


https://pof.com/viewprofile?profile_id=81755708
Here's my POF profile. Do think I'm aiming too high?



The link to your profile doesn't work.

My Instagram is Nickkotarski357. That should give you a better idea of my personality and my "type"



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29 Mar 2020, 6:14 pm

Too bad you aren't a girl if your primary attributes are looks and good health.
That is primarily what guys look for.

Girls still look for guys who are on their own with a good job, just as they always have.

You might think that girls with good incomes wouldn't care, but most people want want everyone else wants.
Free independent thinkers "really are unicorns." Or to use a stereotype "pink unicorns!"



Muse933277
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29 Mar 2020, 11:07 pm

SportsGamer35728 wrote:
My Instagram is Nickkotarski357. That should give you a better idea of my personality and my "type"



You're alright looking. You're not super ugly or anything, you just look like an ordinary 30 something year old man; neither terribly ugly nor stereotypically handsome, just somewhere in the middle.

I'll tell you one way you can possibly improve, if you can lose some body fat and get to a lower body fat percentage. I don't know your metabolism nor workout habits but if possible, try to lose some body fat, especially around your belly and then build some muscle around your chest and shoulders for a more v shape look. Ideally, you want to be below 20% body fat, but if you can achieve 15% body fat, then that's really good.

I think instead of only choosing to go after really fit and attractive 20 something year old girls, you should also pursue other women who arne't as famous, arne't as fit and athletic, but women who may be more available and are more likely to say yes.



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30 Mar 2020, 12:13 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Do you think if I want a relationship at any cost I should settle for someone who is not my ideal choice?


It depends on what your "ideal choice" is and how specific you are in your preferences. All I ever wanted from a partner is a good sex life, that we enjoy each other's company outside the bedroom, and that we can agree on important stuff like how to handle money, whether to have children, etc. It would have been nice if she had been an atheist like me, but we have an agreement: she doesn't drag me to church and I don't talk smack about the church or her God on front of her.


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Jamesy
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30 Mar 2020, 12:52 pm

BlueOysterCultist wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Do you think if I want a relationship at any cost I should settle for someone who is not my ideal choice?


It depends on what your "ideal choice" is and how specific you are in your preferences. All I ever wanted from a partner is a good sex life, that we enjoy each other's company outside the bedroom, and that we can agree on important stuff like how to handle money, whether to have children, etc. It would have been nice if she had been an atheist like me, but we have an agreement: she doesn't drag me to church and I don't talk smack about the church or her God on front of her.



most women who chase me these days are old/middle aged women who have no nterest in having sex.



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30 Mar 2020, 1:06 pm

Jamesy wrote:
most women who chase me these days are old/middle aged women who have no nterest in having sex.


I doubt they're the sort who would agree to a platonic relationship where you could still visit a brothel Amsterdam when you want to get your itch scratched -- and that probably isn't what you want, either.


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