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Angnix
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12 Apr 2020, 8:04 pm

I was talking to someone I know about having a child before I was too old and they said because I was mentally ill my child would be taken away and the guy would go to jail...

1. True?
2. I think I'm just lonely but I don't know where to find a good guy, especially during covid-19!! !
3. Horny!! ! Maybe I need a boyfriend and just use protection/bc...

Sigh.


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Velorum
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13 Apr 2020, 4:40 am

I dont really know much about American law but I would be astonished if a baby would be compulsorily removed from a woman simply because she has a mental health problem - unless she did not have the mental capacity to care for it properly of course. Before it got to that stage a capacity and risk assessment process would need to be followed.

Also - I cant see why a man would go to jail, unless there had been sexual relations without informed consent on the womans part and she was deemed vulnerable to sexual exploitation.


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Angnix
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13 Apr 2020, 2:30 pm

Velorum wrote:
I dont really know much about American law but I would be astonished if a baby would be compulsorily removed from a woman simply because she has a mental health problem - unless she did not have the mental capacity to care for it properly of course. Before it got to that stage a capacity and risk assessment process would need to be followed.

Also - I cant see why a man would go to jail, unless there had been sexual relations without informed consent on the womans part and she was deemed vulnerable to sexual exploitation.


Yeah, I thought it was a bit overboard...


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magz
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13 Apr 2020, 2:40 pm

I was mentally ill and no one ever suggested removing my children.
But children are mentally exhausting, you need solid, multi-level support to be able to care for them while keeping the illness at bay.


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kraftiekortie
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13 Apr 2020, 2:50 pm

No. They wouldn’t take away your child.

The father wouldn’t go to jail.



The Grand Inquisitor
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14 Apr 2020, 9:37 pm

As far as I understand, a child would only be taken away from a parent due to mental illness if that mental illness made it so that the parent couldn't adequately look after the child.

The father would only face legal consequences if his partner was so mentally impaired that she couldn't properly understand the outcomes of sex, and thus, couldn't legally consent to any sexual acts



Amity
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15 Apr 2020, 2:02 am

Angnix wrote:
I was talking to someone I know about having a child before I was too old and they said because I was mentally ill my child would be taken away and the guy would go to jail...

1. True?
2. I think I'm just lonely but I don't know where to find a good guy, especially during covid-19!! !
3. Horny!! ! Maybe I need a boyfriend and just use protection/bc...

Sigh.

1. Deciding to have a child means that you have an ethical responsibility to do right by them long term. Knowing yourself as you do and your situation as it is and as it will likely be, do you have the resources to put the needs of that child first for certain.
2. Loneliness is not a reason to have a child, to do right by that little life and not cause them harm, parents need to be selfless long term...
3. You are much more than your sexual urges, a vibrating friend could be ordered online and delivered. It's not a long term solution, but could help until the C19 restrictions are lifted.
None of these are questions I am asking for you to answer, more so points to privately reflect on.



dragonsanddemons
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15 Apr 2020, 2:09 am

I don't see why the child would be taken away unless the parent(s) were either unable to care for the child properly or at risk of harming the child. If you aren't mentally ill in either of those ways, I would be astonished if that happened.


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aspieprincess123
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18 Apr 2020, 3:43 pm

If you had known mental health issues yes social services "I'm from the UK" may get involved but it's not an automatic removal most cases they monitor and try and get you support.

The father would not go to jail unless it was rape and or you were deemed mentally incapable of consenting to sex. I have known a case where an adult with a mental age of a child who was biologically 25 was used sexually and had no understanding of what the mental and physical changes you go though to be sexually active. The man got quite a few years for rape and such.



seaweed
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19 Apr 2020, 4:03 pm

a "biological clock" is not important for having or caring for kids unless you want to have a child with you and your partner's dna and can't (and don't want to use/don't have access to other measures).
"mental issues" should only matter if your recorded actions have deemed you unfit to care for the child.
if you feel a need to care for a "baby" consider getting a pet instead. my rats are my "babies" and that's all i need :D



Angnix
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23 Apr 2020, 1:27 pm

I don't think I really want a child... but I do want a career and maybe another relationship down the road. I talked to my mental health case manager about it, he suggested I make sure someone I get into a relationship with was mentally stable and non-abusive. He also said I was a very high functioning person that would have a lot to offer to someone that perhaps had a common interest with me. Then he bombarded me with bird questions lol...


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kraftiekortie
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24 Apr 2020, 3:36 pm

I think you’re pretty smart, too.

And deserve a decent guy.....maybe you’ll meet one at the zoo you might volunteer in.