I don't want to live anymore

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I was basically forced to move to a place I'm phobic of, I've been screaming my head off here and literally going mad. People here think I am mad. I am mad. I'm gone.

If anyone had anything useful to tell me, what would it be? Please, no "Don't leave" or "It will get better" rubbish.

Even if someone gave me a big SLAP across my face IRL it would be something to get me out of this.

I want to leave this place and live on the other side of the world.

The worst thing is that everyone knows who I am. The police know too I'm sure. A couple of them gave me the evils in one of my favourite shopping centres I went to a couple of years ago. A local one glares at me. I put on a face like I don't care. I do care.

I just want to leave life. I'm more than done with it. I'm done with life's lessons or whatever the hell I'm here for.

https://youtu.be/fBFQ6bBu71E

this helped me when I was in a similar mode, very recently. Try it Smudge

Stop being an idiot! There is no second chance. Better try anything to change your situation first. Get out into the daylight and the sun. The most important fight in life is to fight negative thoughts which cause sh***y depressions.
Better grab your brain and calm down now and do anything that makes you feel more comfortable. Life can be great too even if you aren't realizing it just now.

Believe me, I am trying everything. It's more along the lines of everyone else saying x and y can't be done. It's my way to find solutions around things. I wish the world functioned in a completely different way, that was way more organized. And people weren't liars, and others were 100x more observant and not so stupid. I do not belong.

Sigh.

Thank you Teach51, but it didn't help me. It's interesting how "grounding" is such a common method to calm down these days.

I'm no expert, but I doubt calling him an idiot and pressuring him to ignore his negative thoughts will help the situation at all. If anything it will get worse.

People need to stop making those who are depressed feel guilty and at fault for their illness.

I'm not a him, I'm a her. And I have a nickname. I don't mind being called an idiot, quite an extreme's intentions are good I believe, as are yours.

(Unrelated to the replies) I should not have come back here.

I feel your pain.

You can't open the eyes of people who became suicidal by telling them how right they feel. They are wrong with killing themself and there is no second chance for them afterwards. Most suicidal people are just caring some negative things much to much and for this they are temporarily unable to notice any positive things in life anymore. They are temporarily idiotically focused. But there are lots of positive things too and always chances to improve and life changes.

We don't have to be perfect. We just need acceptance and love.
I hope you can cope better Smudge. It isn't easy.

You said slaps were OK. I thought this one was fun.



Rage all you want. The world definitely sucks at times and I can't imagine living in a phobia-environment.

{ Non-hugs }

Well, I for one am glad to see you're back and no doubt others feel the same way. Who cares what those people think, life sucks sometimes and no one goes through life without the lows. I hope things get better for you Smudge, please take care and stay safe.

Everything you are saying makes sense

I hope there is a way to improve the situation where OTHERS truly help instead of only talking about what cannot be done. Situations can improve with help not just expecting the person in trouble to do it on their own.

Even a real hug is helpful to 'ground' / center oneself and to get thoughts in order.

People need to love each other for real, in their actions,
instead of expecting everyone only to look out for themselves.

I recently (a few days ago) had a very bad time of it and when I met XH asked for a hug which he gave.
Just that 1 hug helped my feelings and mindset improve.


I hope the reassurance here can compensate for what's missing from the people around you..

but I hope even more that you and they find a way to help ease things fro you.. i hope better people come along if u have found that the people around u don't have integrity

I don't want to live anymore, either. I have no real reason to go on living in a world that is doomed, anyway. And I'm probably going to get murdered so when the copycat mass shooter comes to kill me I'll just say bring it on.