I fear rejection

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Focus on something that you can accomplish instead?

Admitting that you fear something is the first step in overcoming the fear.

We all fear various things unless we're crazy or stupid. It's acting despite fear instead of acting because of fear that moves you past it.

Ironically, in being alone during the quarantine, you're "not alone." We're all dealing with that right now.

I'm dealing with what was a potential job offer that, evidently, I'm not going to get. I sent a couple of emails. One I got back the job was already filled. Two other emails haven't yet been answered. I do have ONE potential job where I had regular contact with someone. Now I'm just waiting on an administrator to get back to me. I'm about to start cold-calling.

Everything we do, from emailing, online application websites (I'm so sick and tired of Applitrack), even job interviews over Zoom, is "virtual" or "distance" now. When it comes to dating, now more than ever is certainly NOT the time to get in a hurry!

And rumors are going around about me at my current job. I'd rather NOT be refused a contract on the mere basis that I'm networking, any more than being friends with someone means you're breaking up with your SO. There is ALWAYS that possibility, and simply the risk you take. But "just talking" isn't something your SO has to know about. It's any situation when you can no longer be faithful that you need to have THAT talk. I'm not doing anything wrong, but it would be nice to know the closest people you depend on could keep their mouths shut when it counts.

No, I have nothing to do and nothing left to live for.

I'm sorry to hear that. I can lend you a ladder but don't know how to help with the mechanics of climbing out of the pit you're stuck at the bottom of, and all the hope that folks have for you that you'll be able to do it can't make a lick of difference if you don't, won't or can't do the harder part of doing the climbing. Most of what I can say about being trapped in a cycle of learned helplessness will sound more like a hypocritical lecture than just sympathetic observations shouted from the bottom of my own lonely, miserable pit.

Look, as long there's epidemic, dating is not possible anyway.

I am afraid only those who are already in relationships have 'made it'; singletons like us are forced to take a pause from dating, whether we are good at it or no - for the time being it's over for us until further notice. Dating is no longer a priority concern, that's the reality.

So take a pause out of all this, and rest, it's really time to forget about it and do other things - even if alone.

I'm scared s**tless by the thought of rejection too. It reminds me of how I grew up feeling socially incompetent through high school and college. Over the years I've invested a tremendous amount of time into this area of my life.

First of all, it sounds like you're in a lot of pain over this. Feeling like a failure over and over is painful as hell. I'm talking from personal experience, since I've been socially rejected countless times. You're not alone here and I'm sorry if you feel pressured to conquer this fear or change your feelings about it. As a fellow aspie, I find your experience totally relatable and justified. Dating is honestly a s**tshow these days and sometimes it just seems impossible.

I hesitate to offer you any "solution" because I don't think fear of rejection is really a problem. A fact of life is that it's pretty normal to fear rejection. I'm afraid of approaching and being rejected by women. I'm also afraid of spiders and of swimming underwater in the ocean. None of this has really changed. If I saw a spider next to me right now, I would probably start sweating and leave the room. If I saw a girl I liked right now, I would probably be scared to talk to her and freeze up. All of this is pretty normal in my experience, so I think you are totally right to feel afraid and definitely not alone. I know that sometimes it must seem like you're the only one, but you're not. Just like everyone else, including NTs, you have a relationship with your own fears.

As other people here have mentioned, it's probably a good idea to take a step back from this and focus on doing things to make yourself feel better. Since it's quarantine, do stuff that you enjoy and later on you can revisit the whole dating thing. I bet you'd rather tackle this with a clear head rather than face it while feeling down about yourself.

Good luck man!

I can’t really get anything done these days. I am going through analysis paralysis so I don’t know what to focus on and the TMS that I was hoping to get is astronomical in cost.

Do you find writing about stuff like this cathartic? If so I'd suggest it, if you're interested in sharing I'd be interested in reading.

I can’t come up with anything else to say anymore. This quarantine has been a mental trap as well as a physical one. Anhedonia has also ruined my passions for things like comics and video games.

I should’ve left when Alliekit left.

When the quarantine lifts, what should I do?

Hang out in Austin as much as possible.

Isn’t the quarantine partially lifted in Texas?

It is almost completely lifted in Oklahoma.

There are still some restrictions and certain places have chosen not to reopen until much later.

I don’t think anyone wants me to have a girlfriend anymore whether or not they are a detractor of mine.